Forgive and forget?

I would love to be able to say yes, that I have no problems with doing that, but that would be a lie. As a survivor of being a battered woman, I have had to learn this in a very hard way. Why you ask, well you see what some have done is not so forgivable, and I had to learn how to forgive myself for getting into those relationships. And it is hard on the body when you don't deal with the emotions that forgiveness helps take away.

In this lens I hope to inform you of the issues that could arise from not forgiving and forgetting. And how it can affect you in the long term. Unless you are better than myself, and can easily forgive and forget, take the time to read some of this information. This is all for personal experience, I am not a physcologist or anything, but I have learned over the years, and with due diligence I have prevailed out of the realms of abuse.

So join me now, and lets compare notes. Come on, I can wait while you go and get your drink, coffee or whatever. I'll be right here waiting on your return.

The hardest part will be looking in the mirror. If you can do that you have the whole thing beat.

How can I forgive someone else if I can't forgive myself.

During some of the years when I was in the lows of my life, forgiving some of the people in my life was not something in my vocabulary. I had to make a conscious effort to not to hold my anger inside. You see the one thing that did happen when being abused is that you learn to hide your emotions. This is so your partner whether it be male or female did not see you have any over some of the things they did.

Unfortunately, the longer you keep your emotions buried deep inside, the more it starts to take a toll on your body physically. The physical stuff was horrible, caused my back to start having problems, eating to much from depression. Even turning to drugs to have that numb feeling..Other people have suffered with ulcers and other side affects. It is a phenomenon how that if we do not learn to forgive ourselves first, how are we suppose to forgive others. Yes, that is right we need to forgive the man or woman in the mirror. Everything kinda revolves around YOU! What others have done to you will never be as hard or difficult to forgive as what we do to ourselves.

It is amazing how that once we forgive ourselves then everything else falls into place. There is a sense of peace or a calming affect that comes over us. The weight on your shoulders is lifted and that has to feel good, even if that is only metaphorically speaking. Once we are able to master forgiving the other person that has offended us we will start feeling better inside and out.

Like I said before I am not a doctor of any sort, but I do know something of what I liked before abuse. True happiness only comes when you can talk about everything without getting angry.

Can you forget what has happened?

Heavens no, I will never forget what happened to me. And with all my intentions of wanting to hold onto the memories I went through, I didn't. If you were to ask me about what happened I would more than likely say , "If what happened?" Once I gave myself the permission to forgive myself the memories had no credence in my life. How weird that I am thinking about that now while writing this to you, most of the time prior to this I could have rattled off to so much of the things that have happened that you would be amazed.

And I guess the old saying does have credence though, "Time heals all wounds.". There is so much truth to that statement and having someone just ask me that really made me think about some of the old sayings that I swore I would not listen to. And I did not even have to listen to them, it just happened. Isn't that awesome!

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I would so very much love to read what you have to say about my article. I welcome all comments, the good, the bad and the not so pretty. Come on you have come this far you can leave me a quick note.