My husbands ex is unbearable but we have to deal with her for the kids. If I could he rid of her legally, I would have her put in jail. She has issues with drugs and the law but is still somehow still a better parent than two adults who both have steady income and a home of their own. We would just have her buste but I really don't want to scare my step children tht badly. They are going to grow up thinkin it's ok not to go to college or have a job because they've seen it in their mother. My step daughter has already told me she is going to grow up and have kids so she doesn't have to work, yay good fundamentals. *sigh*
I think the best thing is to ignore them. Many toxic exs' love control. When you respond to them then your giving them that control. It has also been proven many people who get restraining orders end up only making the matter worse. I think if your a female you need to take self defense classes if he was abusive. By ignoring your ex you have the power back in your hands. If you have children with that toxic ex then that makes things more complicated. I would do whatever I could to try and get full custody of my sons.