Anyone need relationship advice?

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   Mark O Richardsonposted 5 years ago

   I've been married for 18 yearsand happily married.  I pride myself in conflict resolution as I've worked in collections and i have in-laws.

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      Castlepalomaposted 5 years agoin reply to this

      Eighteenth year happily is better than my 10 year partner.
      
      Should I stop dating christain women The last four dumped me because I couldn't be saved?
      
      I've gone to a pastor who is my actual brother, he has been happily for 40 years, and he could not help me.

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      1. 74

         Castlepalomaposted 5 years agoin reply to this

         Too difficult?

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         1. 79

            Mark O Richardsonposted 5 years agoin reply to this

            Sorry, didn't have a chance to really get on the site yesterday

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      2. 79

         Mark O Richardsonposted 5 years agoin reply to this

         Good question. Well, what I learned and what many people say is that you don't want to spill everything about yourself when first meeting someone. However, it is important to know what is most important to yourself and in others. Obviously, with these other women, Christianity is a priority. I am learning that we as people are metaphorically like computers and trees:
         -Computers because we are all programmed a certain way. We can change, but it is hard to.
         -Trees because we become more and more set in our ways over time. For example, like a large Oak tree.
         
         So, I think one of the most important things in relationships is that the other person loves and accepts you for who you are. Women tend to date/marry for potential. They shouldn't get into relationships trying to change the man, but they typically do. Religion, I feel, is very personal. Most people do not change that on a whim. So, if you do not think that it is a possibility getting into it and it is important to the woman, I wouldn't do it. On the other hand, if you are open and you really like them, you could certainly give it a shot.

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            Castlepalomaposted 5 years agoin reply to this

            Don't have this kind of problem when they are like agnostic/christain or soft Christains, just in case they are wrong, for the fear they might get into heaven. I've lived with clean hands if this imaginary is true, he or she will take me.
            
            The last four Christains girlfriends kind of fooled me, all saying they were spiritual rather than Religious.That was my test,
            for I am spiritual sided.
            
            One was even a minister of God with her own church, largest in town. I accept and respect Religion although many don't accept me.
            
            Will try more agnostic next time, some Atheist seem hard headed.

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            1. 79

               Mark O Richardsonposted 5 years agoin reply to this

               Thanks for your response. It is a challenge. I am glad that you are accepting. Most people have very different experiences that lead to very different beliefs. But personally, I'm glad that you value spirituality because Religion/Spirituality are one of my core principles that I believe in.

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                  Castlepalomaposted 5 years agoin reply to this

                  Could be a different in our ideas of spirituality.
                  
                  You believe, is matter of faith not supported by solid facts. You would conclude God is all spirituality from anicent times. Everything within 1000s of years. Starting with total Creation within 7 days.
                  
                  My thought can be or not the result of research and study leading to a conclusion. I am what I think. I think spiritual is the 99% unknowns with good intentions and all connected. Til spiritual is manifested into our ego selves. I think people are good, adjust your mistakes and don't regret your sins.
                  
                  For your health and what you can forget are the two most important things for your happiness and less suffering.
                  Everything in evolution from millions and billions of years.

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                     Mark O Richardsonposted 5 years agoin reply to this

                     Interesting.  I agree that faith is often not logical. Truth is truth regardless if it comes from today versus thousands of years ago.

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                     1. 74

                        Castlepalomaposted 5 years agoin reply to this

                        That's is why you can't argue with a Christian.
                        
                        Non believers are the fastest growing group anyways.

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2. 77

   Isivwe Muoboposted 5 years ago

   I don't have a relationship problem (or I do, but it can easily be solved between my husband and myself), however, I have a neighbour whose marriage is on the brink as she was caught cheating.
   
   I kind of need people's views on the issue.
   
   Said lady and hubby have been married 19 years, but living apart for five of those years. Hubby stays in a neighboring country and comes home every quarter.
   
   He sends money occasionally and it's so little, it's barely enough for the lady and their four kids.
   
   Lady had to go into sleeping with men for money just to make ends meet.
   
   While I don't support her actions, I don't blame her either as I'm not in her situation.
   
   My personal belief is that everyone should walk a mile in another's shoes to know what their situation is about.
   
   She has, on a few occasions, come over to my place to ask for foodstuff to feed the kids which I readily gave her.
   
   I dunno what to say in this situation and think she's not to blame. However, my hubby is of a different opinion and strongly believes nothing justifies cheating. In his opinion, no cheat deserves a second chance, this nice lady inclusive.
   
   I maintain she doesn't deserve a divorce, but would love to know what the guys here think.

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      Castlepalomaposted 5 years agoin reply to this

      One thing comes to mind, your country's marriage laws are different than North America.

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      Mark O Richardsonposted 5 years agoin reply to this

      This is a unique/tough situation. Employment that fits one's needs can be hard to find. It would be important to do your best to make as much as you can in a job that works with your/their schedule. Personally, I couldn't justify fornication/adultery, even to make ends meet. You always have a choice in your actions. Maybe she had family she could live with? But I doubt it, otherwise she would have already done so. I agree that no one should cheat. If she explained the situation to her husband and he cannot forgive her, then a divorce would be understandable.

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