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Friendship After Breakup ( Can We Be Friends Now ? )

Updated on October 28, 2015

Friendship Or Relationship Or Nothing.

Usually always it starts with friendship or say " I Like You " phase then it reaches the Relationship or " I Love You " phase , and for some it ends up at Break up or " I Hate You " phase . This phase of life is the most confusing phase , more than the one when we decide on our career options or college or jobs or anything . That's because here we are dealing with someone who was everything to us last day and is nothing or almost nothing to us today . Changes are uncomfortable but changes which are sudden are more uncomfortable than the once we are ready for. Its not that painful when we know a friend will leave next month but its painful when a friend leaves you suddenly without any warning , that's because we are not mentally prepared for the change or separation . Every girl has her own little fairy tale , which she has been living from the time she was born , but her fairy tale may becomes a nightmare in reality because she never thought about the end . Never thought about separation. Actually nobody think of breakups but they just come in as a surprise . Why I said surprise is because it may be sad for some and not so sad for others . Sometimes breakups seem to be the correct decision which could have been made . They say " Breakups are painful in the beginning , messy in the middle and joy in the end . The question of focus here is , Does this end only implies to Relationship or Friendship also ?

No two love stories are same so no two ends can be same either . I will tell you about almost all the possible outcomes but ultimately you have to decide which one suits your Relationship. I am here to guide you not direct your actions .

Almost every questions has two answers , i.e , YES or NO. Therefore i believe there are only two answers to this question also . Either we are friends or Nothing .

  • FRIENDSHIP (YES)

Usually after breakup one or both of the partners want to continue the friendship and if you agree on 'being friends' , the question arise ' WHY ' . There can be two possible answers to this question . Friendship or Nothing .

POSSIBLE REASONS AND CONSEQUENCES

FRIENDSHIP OVER RELATIONSHIP :

One of the possible reasons can be that you both have learnt from your mistakes and do not want to repeat your mistakes again . You have realized that you both had misunderstood your liking with love and now want to undo it . You enjoy each others company , you care for each other and you both want to be for each other always . You believe in moving on and laughing on the past and your mistakes . That's a good option because this way you get to keep your friendship and secrets safe . But its a good option only when you are sure about your feelings and are no more confused . Status clear .

RELATIONSHIP OVER FRIENDSHIP :

Second possible option can be , if both both agree on staying in contact because you can see some scope . You still love each other but are just too afraid of approaching or just too egoistic to apologies . You are basically trying to start from the beginning . Trying to give it a fresh start . This is not a bad option too only if the feelings are same on both the ends and you actually want to take the risk . Remember if it ends this time , it will end forever , unless you both again want to give it another try .

" You Can Be Friends Only If You Never Loved Each Other Or You Still Love Each Other "

  • NOTHING (NO)

You may want to have No contact with the person because you see no option . It seems like pain to see them everyday and not talk to them and miss them so you decide to finish everything and maintain a " healthy strangers " thing . You think its the best way to move on . Relationship or Nothing .

REASONS AND CONSEQUENCES :

RELATIONSHIP OVER NOTHING :

One of the possible consequence can be that you have lost all hopes and believe in " out of sight , out of mind" phenomena . you have decided to move on . You have decided to shut and then cut the past but here is the twist , some love experts believe in , " no contact " rule . This rule states that when two people brake apart , it creates an empty space in their life and they realize each others importance , which results in missing each other and finally coming back together with more love . But then this is not true for all .

NOTHING OVER FRIENDSHIP :

Second possible consequence can be that you decide to end every tie with them , but they keep on calling you once in a year , drunk and crying .Telling you that they loved you truly and never wanted to hurt you but the point to note here is , that they never talk about getting back together . I love you but we can not be together in this lifetime. So technically they are trying to tell you to wait for them till the next life . God so much of love . This seems to be the most interesting category . Such behaviors can have many explanations . Possible ones :

" Oh I need attention for now and nobody is giving me their attention and I think you will always give me your attention because you are dumb and you love me "

" oh I just called to check if my plan B is alright . I mean if nobody then you . because you can never get over me and you so love me baby "

It is important to make such decisions carefully because your present always have an effect on your future and these decision will either get you your love back or friend back or will leave you with nothing . Think Carefully . You know it better than anyone because you lived it and you are living it , so decide for yourself . HAPPY LIVING .


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    • dashingscorpio profile image

      dashingscorpio 2 years ago

      Generally speaking I'm not a fan of attempting to go from "Red hot lovers" to "Instant Platonic Friends" resembling being siblings.

      In all honesty I think it's unrealistic for a variety of reasons.

      Firstly it's rare that (both people) want to end a relationship!

      The person initiating the breakup may be offering friendship as a "consolation prize" so they don't appear to be the "bad guy".

      The person being dumped accepts the olive branch of friendship while secretly hoping for a reconciliation down the road. Oftentimes in a moment of weakness the former couple may have sex again. For one person it was nothing more than a "booty call" or "friends with benefits" thing and for the other person they believe they're heading back to being a couple again. This person gets hurts again when they finally realize it was just (sex) for their ex.

      Lets face it you are the last person who can help someone get over you. And if you are the person who was dumped you're going to set yourself up to be hurt again when it's clear your ex is dating again.

      The best friendships between exes usually occur after a (large gap) in time when the people have not been in contact and have gotten involved with other people. They may bump into each other one day and decide to exchange email addresses or whatever just to stay in touch while wishing each other well with their marriages or relationships.

      In my opinion if the failed relationship was a "serious one" it's probably best to cut them out of your life and go cold turkey without any form of contact for at least six months or a year. Unfriend them in social media, delete phone numbers, block email addresses, and avoid going places you know they frequent. You can't move on unless you let go.

      Every ending is a new beginning!

      Your future lies ahead of you and not behind you!

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