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Loving a friend hurts

Updated on December 13, 2012


When you first meet someone and you just think "We could be SUCH good friends... " and then you realize that it is actually happening. You start spending time together and sharing everything you have in common, what you like and what you dislike and you just go on talking because nothing you say is worth regretting.

This is one of the happiest things of life. Sharing thoughts with people that appreciate you and listen to what you are saying with interest, and answer back by sharing their opinion. These are the kinds of discussion I would love to have with everyone, but unfortunately people have prejudices and decide not to talk to you for some weird reason.

Apart from this... when you finally get to meet someone worth talking to and worth sharing your opinion, without being judged, it is one of the best feelings ever. You start to spend more time together,and you start thinking that this simple friendship could turn out to be the best friendship you have ever had.

It might be difficult to find REAL friends people, age range: 13-17, as they seem to be more interested in making you feel inferior to them and take advantage of you rather than actually caring for you. While boy friends have no interest in taking advantage, they act naturally, which is nice to see once in a while. This is why, sometimes, problems might occur, but only for one person, never for both people involved in the 'best friend' friendship.

Display of affection

When you start mixing well in the crowd and you feel great with the people around you, things often start to change.

Friendships with boys might be sometimes difficult for certain girls. For example, when I finally had found my best friend, there he is making things even more difficult for me with his infinite kindness and understanding personality, so I started falling for him: as simple and complex as that.

It is difficult to find really truthful, trust worthy and kind guys these days. When you have the opportunity to meet one, you start believing that dreams come true. You start deciding whether he has to be just a friend, or maybe something more. A series of questions start coming to your mind: what if he likes me too? Should I confess my love? And if I do, would his reaction be positive or negative?

Because the point is that if the reaction is positive, then everything is fine and you can be boyfriend and girlfriend or simply best friends. On the other hand, if the reaction is negative, it would mean to continue the friendship you have, and everything just ends there (for now. No-one says he will not change his mind).

So, this is what you need to know

Having the courage to admit you like someone is the best way to overcome your shyness. You reveal to him and to yourself that you are courageous. You transmit to the other person a very strong sense of confidence, and I assure you he will appreciate that (even if he doesn't say it, he thinks it). I understand it is hard to admit it, because most of time, people keep these things for themselves, or limit it to a small group of trusted friends.

Be strong, be courageous and be confident.

By keeping your emotions inside you repress them, and then your feelings for this person increase. Even if when reading this you might think "of course not, I swear I don't like him anymore"... well chances are.. you still do. A huge pressure is building up inside of you, and it only ends up on yourself. You start feeling nervous when you are around that person (the one you fancy), and you start blushing.

This is why you have to choices::

1. Accept the consequences and talk to him/her saying what you really think and feel.


2. Just cope with it and move on.

Choices are as simple as this.

What I really wish to all the people out there that find themselves in this sort of situation is: be courageous and take some risks in life, because you don't want to live with the question "WHAT IF". Trust me, you don't.

Believe in yourself.


(with whatever choice you decide to make.. it will be just fine.. )

A little personal anecdote of mine

I happened to meet this guy sometime at the start of my school year (university). I thought he was very handsome, and that we might be friends. I would love to be his friends, he seems nice and funny, why not?

We became friends after seeing each other (not really often I have to say), but it worked for me.

I usually asked him to go out and spend time together, nothing intended, but he always rejected my offers (I am starting to think they were excuses).

One day I put myself together and I decided I lived nine years of my life going after a person (another guy) without having the courage of admitting "hey, I like you, what do you wanna do about it?"

I never got closure. This is something you need because it gives your brain the "okay, thats it, you can move on now" reaction. This is what you need.

Long story short: I was rejected. That is okay. I was honestly expecting that because it seemed too good to be true. The good thing is that I now know that he is aware of the fact I fancy him, and it will never get deleted from his mind. He knows what I feel for him, it is out there now, and you can't just randomly get it back. The excuse of "I was drunk" will not work now my friends, i'm sorry.

To conclude, I feel better now. I can spend time with him and I have fun, in a 'friends' kind of way. When I think about it, I would have like a "shot", a try with him, but that is just how life goes: yes or no. There is no in-between, and if you find that middle ground.. I don't know how long it will last. If that person likes you he/she, will say it back.

Good luck to everyone. Remember that it is only a matter of confidence. Everyone loves confidence and it WILL be appreciated!


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    • randomizing profile image

      Jaded 4 years ago from United Kingdom

      @LongTimeMother thank you very much :)

    • LongTimeMother profile image

      LongTimeMother 4 years ago from Australia

      I remember that stage in my life. You've written about it really nicely. Voted up +.

    • shampa sadhya profile image

      Shampa Sadhya 6 years ago from NEW DELHI, INDIA


      Nicely written hub and it is always true that life requires to take some risk. Taking risk is better than facing embarrassment.

      One more point I would like to add is friendship depends upon common wavelength and not upon same gender option. I have stressed on common wavelength as the basis of friendship in one of my hubs on friendship because I strongly believe this viewpoint.