- Gender and Relationships
Girls Girls Girls
This is looking like the most difficult blog I’ve ever written because I don’t have any answers for this conundrum I’m about to present so, please. If you do, leave a comment.
I’m 76 now and I’m still perplexed by my inability to figure out why I’ve been attracted to some women, and not to others. What is it that makes us fall in love with just one out of the millions of candidates? OK, two or three or even a dozen in the long run. And in particular, how is it that I can show a friend a photo of what I think is the most beautiful women in the world, and all he has to say is; “Yeah she’s OK I guess.” I’m pretty sure that all these philosophies apply to women judging men as well but I’m also pretty sure that their reasoning is vastly different than men’s reasoning.
Girls, women, ladies, they’re all the same in many respects yet vastly different in others.
I’m guessing education and experience account for most of the differences between them but not all. For instance, individual facial expressions, smiles, in particular, give away girls personality to anyone seeking to see deep within her. I think personality is the biggest long-term attraction.
An initial attraction from far away is always her body, her hair, and physical movement. Up close, all of those corroborated plus facial features and a myriad of other factors both physical and personal all start the ball rolling within an admirer’s libido. This is one of the most powerful forces on the planet and the most exciting as well throughout the entire courting period right up to when you finally score depending on what your ultimate goal is. There is no way your heart could stand this fantastic excitement for long so after the courting period has tapered down, things tend to mellow out a bit. Things change and become very different and better over time. The excitement is still there to a degree but not the crazy all-out insanity as it was in the beginning. Now you look forward to spending the rest of your life loving this one person and together, plan on the new house, children, travel and a thousand other things you never thought of before you first laid eyes this incredible creature.
I’m sure most of you have been there or at least know what I’m talking about if you haven’t yet but that isn’t what this quest is all about.
What is this thing called love you have for a one and only women and why are you content loving just one when there are endless other women you could and would love if you had the chance to meet them as you did with your current number one. At 76, I can tell you I’ve loved more than one women in my lifetime and all were just as intense, true, long-lasting and just as exciting as the first one at age 14 or so. That was probably the most exciting of them all but this girl wasn’t especially pretty, nor did she have a fantastic body. She was cute but that’s about it and the guys I used to hang out with at drag races had better personalities. Why did I love her for four years and plan on marrying her one-day? Sex had nothing to do with it. There was practically none back in those days, I certainly remember hoping to get lucky and it wasn’t easy to abstain believe me. Especially hanging out at a drive-in movie every week. Why? There were dozens of chicks everywhere and in high school, what could be better, the entire town of girls met at the same high school every day. It doesn’t get better than that and I had my choice. I played guitar in a 50’s rock and roll band back then and for 15 years after high school, but did that make a difference? Big time, I got invited everywhere, but I always wound up with just one squeeze and never one that was super hot… why?
I didn’t really mind, I wasn’t a one-night stand kind of guy anyway. After high school, things changed for the better. They were all hotties then but still, just one at a time. Guess I grew up a little.
One can’t get much more grown up than I am now and I still have no idea what’s going on. I could line up 100 of the sexiest, most beautiful women in the world and any Joe blow on the street would have no problem picking out the one he liked best. I want to know why, and why ten more guys that followed him would pick out different women almost 100% of the time. I would point out there’s a thing called “The Golden Ratio” you can find on You Tube that mathematically aligns any face on a chart and points out changes that would make the face universally accepted as beautiful including the application of makeup and it’s true, it helps a lot but it has absolutely nothing to do with the big question here and that’s why does that one special girl instantly turn you into a drooling idiot while others don’t. I don’t think universal beauty has anything to do with it.
Marilyn Monroe was a beautiful girl in every respect but again, did nothing for me. Gees, I’m starting to think I should be analyzing myself rather than girls.
As a man, I see many positive attributes in women that to me are obvious even those that require a bit of conscious thought such as one thing I’ve always asked myself when seriously considering a life-long mate is that what kind of mother would she be for our children. Would she love them, protect, educate and take good care of them? That was always the bottom line with me as it answered many other non-related questions about her as well. Most girls with a “loving” smile always do well with children and animals as well. OK, what’s a loving smile? I can pick one out in a flash but don’t ask me to explain the difference between a loving smile and just any old smile. All of the actors I’ve posted here seem to have loving smiles. Hmm, that may be a significant discovery.
As my life winds down, I’ve had more and more idle time usually spent on the net going blind in front of my 27-inch monitor. It’s great for watching movies on Hulu or Netflix. Almost all of these thousands of movies feature a young women or girl that is incredibly beautiful and very young. Honestly, I’m much more inclined to start a movie or series that has a female actor that flicks that incessant switch somewhere inside me. My age doesn’t seem to have anything to do with it. The feelings are all still there just like they were 60 years ago except now I’m out of the loop with zero chance of renewing one of those fantastic experiences and rightfully so. I respect girls and women way too much to even think about it. Actually, I suppose I will always think about it but I would never ever try to strike up a relationship with a much younger woman even if I did have a chance. That’s an interesting question as well. What is the cut-off period, 10 years, 20, 30?
I’m inclined to say none at all but I know better. If I had the chance to hook up with a 25-year old I wouldn’t. It would be very hard to walk away from this situation but there would be nothing positive for her in a relationship like that and lots of problems for me as well. I guess our social structure draws the line in cases like this but our society doesn’t know anything more than I do. If your 60, can you have a 20-year old wife? What if we reverse the scenario? Some older women like younger men. Is that OK? It seems society frowns on that as well and for once, I agree with society. Couples should stick to their own age group or sooner or later, someone is going to get hurt.
If you watch an entire series on your computer or TV, the characters almost become family you get to be with and know so well. But beware, these actors are simply playing their part and someone you love onscreen, you may dislike off screen while their just being their real-life selves.
I’ve taken screen-shots of all the women I consider exceptional and would be proud to spend the rest of my life with (assuming I was starting all over again). The actors in all of these screen-shots from TV series or movies depict characters they are supposed to emulate as their designated characters, and in general, they do a fantastic job but don’t be deceived. More often than not, if you go to Google Images to see more pictures of the love of your life, you’ll come away with a disappointing result that’s not even close to what you expected to see, especially when the Hollywood morons get done gussying up what used to be an exceptionally beautiful and natural girl.
At first glance, I’d be happy to spend my life with any of the women from movies or TV series I’ve posted here but I can’t seem to figure out why. Sure, they have perfect bodies and characters that can melt your heart but what is it about their faces that pull you in like a magnet? Take a close look at some of them. Pick out one and try very hard to determine what exactly it is that attracts you. Try to change some of her facial features in order to make her more attractive. Good luck on both counts. Sometimes her eyes will stand out easily while other facial features add to her magnetism like high cheekbones or a larger mouth than usual but in reality, if you start messing around trying to make her even more beautiful, you will fail miserably. Her facial features are only a small part of her overall attraction. If you watch an actress long enough you will see split-second features that border on flat out ugly. The wide range of emotions they must emulate are endless and apparently very hard to fake just for the camera 100% of the time. One great actress, you can check out is Captain Janeway, (Kate Mulgrew) on Star Trek’s Voyager. She has to show every human emotion possible, close up and in dozens of episodes but you will never see an ugly expression on her face even for a fraction of a second and she has hundreds of facial expressions. There’s no doubt, she’s a beautiful woman so why doesn’t she flic my switch like others that are way less talented do? Could it be the role she plays in Voyager? While your there, check out 7-of-9 (Jeri Ryan). This woman has a body that will knock your socks off, blond hair, perfect complexion and a pretty face. She plays an ex-Borg with a bad attitude and still, does absolutely nothing for me, why?
You know, you could be with the most beautiful women on the planet in every conscious respect and it wouldn’t last ten minutes if she had a severe farting in public problem. Our attraction toward the opposite sex is so complicated you’ll never be able to figure it out or come to even minor conclusions. Guys are notorious for pointing out hot chicks to other guys and rarely are their efforts agreed upon, why? Don’t they all see the same thing? Possibly it’s not the girls at all but the inability of the guys to see the collective beauty I speak of. Some guys like 350-pound girls and others like 95-pound skinny minis. I bet if you looked into their lifestyles you would find something drastically bent out of shape.
As frustrating as it’s been for me over the years it’s been exciting I can tell you that much.
I have to conclude that it’s not just a girl’s perfect butt, her face, boobs, smarts or any other single entity but a super complex conglomerate of human science that defies analysis. There is, however, one stand-alone attribute in all cases that seems to carry the most long-term weight and that’s…personality.
OK, so what about girls that are flat-ass ugly? My answer to that is, there aren’t any. If you can get past the fact that a girl simply doesn’t have the physical attributes Hollywood, the media, and many influences have stuffed down you’re throat your whole life, then my friend, you might just have found the real-life, most beautiful creature on the planet.
Then again, there’s always the all
to common, squirrelly “female” side of the story…
“Hi Honey I’m home”…
“What’s the matter, how come you’re crying?”
“I d-on’t (sniff) know.”