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Is There Happiness In Isolating Yourself?

Updated on June 17, 2012

Can isolating yourself lead to a happier life? Zoning everyone out and their problems can be a source of peace for some but do you end up backing yourself in a corner with nothing but a wall behind you where there used to be friends and family? Along the way of living my single life I have noticed that I have a handful of friends that I can call on. Even saying a handful can be an exaggeration. I have been away from home for more than 10 years and the friends that I once knew so well are not as close as they used to be. Even a phone call seems so out of the way for me now. So I often wonder if my comfort in being single has driven me to be truly alone and for how long?

Where I live there is absolutely nothing to do for common socialization. It’s a small town and slowly but surely over the 3 years that I have lived here, more and more, I have managed to find comfort in the solitude of my home along with my dog. Day after day I come home to the same TV and the same comfortable pillowtop mattress with the same laptop. I have found contentment in pecking away at my keyboard while my TV plays something on Netflix in the background for noise replacing a familiar voice from a friend. Forget the days of trying to figure out what’s going on in town, forget trying to hang out in search of for what seems now empty laughs and conversation. My quiet home has become my closest friend now. It doesn’t tell me of the woes of its life. It doesn’t chock my mind full of negative thoughts because someone hurt its feelings or is sleeping with its spouse. All the negative speak that comes with getting to know someone better. These days, my life is empty enough but I don’t need it filled with keeping up with someone’s life and helping them cope with their situations.

But on the other end of that are the joys in someone’s life that my comfort in being antisocial has caused me to miss out on. The laughs that I think are empty could positively intertwine its way into my thoughts and bring a smile to my face when I am feeling down but I choose not to even give it a chance. Am I missing out on human contact and all that is needed to keep my own self human? Human contact is crucial in life to keep you sane, to keep you in the loop of civilization. Gaining insight of human nature from television only is unnatural. And only receiving human contact from work isn’t natural either. Depending on who you have to associate with, human contact through work can cause forced interactions but it’s still a form of socialization I suppose. One, that at this stage in my life, I want to do without as well.

There are many times in our lives we do have to deal with things that cause us a wide range of negative emotions that if we were to cut ourselves off from the world we wouldn’t have to deal with them. From stress on the job dealing with a co-worker’s issue to someone crying to you about someone they know being afflicted with a crippling disease, we can just give a shrug, disconnect and crawl back into ourselves and not give a flip. But is it right to shelter our own selves from these types of emotions? Can we prevent the amount of negatives in our life? But at what cost? Situations of tragedy and situations of elation often go hand in hand. I would love to live in a world where only uplifting things happened but that will not always be the case in life. So by me cutting my emotions off towards others because I only want to hear good things in order to not take on the stress or the downtrodden feelings of another, doesn’t make me much of a human being. I’m no longer sure if it’s my environment, my only-child syndrome ways, my comfort in being anti-social or what that keeps me with a desire of wanting to be left alone. All I know is that as I get older in my life I find myself distancing myself away from those that I know and even those that I love. In a sense, I feel that this cuts down on any stress that can present itself in my life. But by distancing myself could I be missing out on possible joys that could make my life less stressed as well?


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    • NiaG profile image

      NiaG 4 years ago from Louisville, KY

      I'm guilty of being crazy too Rafaela. I think I can go either way but more and more I find myself not even wanting to be bothered with talking on the phone. I think it comes with getting older too. Thanks for stopping by!

    • Rafaela Lima profile image

      Rafaela Lima 4 years ago from US


      I liked a lot the hub. I am a little different or you can call me crazy. hahaha. But I don't like a busy social life. I like to have just a couple friends and stay at home.

    • NiaG profile image

      NiaG 6 years ago from Louisville, KY

      Thanks dolls! I'm really afraid that I'm pushing people away sometimes. I find myself eating lunch by myself (really it's because it's so cold I'd rather find a warm spot to myself) and just not wanting to be bothered with anyone else. But when the time comes around when I'm ready to do something I look around and can't think of anyone to do it with. But I'm really being selfish in expecting for people to want "play" with me when I'm ready.

      Cardisa, I will be out of my element in a year or so. I plan on moving to Mexico for a year. I will definitely be out of any shell by then. I really do think my funk has a lot to do with my environment. I really am an outgoing person and feel my personality shrinking. Not good.

    • profile image

      Deb Welch 6 years ago

      Nia, Well written Hub - Voted Up - useful, beautiful and interesting. It must be difficult being an only child. I fluctuate between my own comfort zone and getting out there and finding new and fifferent activties. I've lost many friends over the years but have developed better relationships with family and pets. I love talk radio programs - it really helps outside of the work/co-worker settings and family conversations. I keep so busy without missing those worldly friendship relationships I thought I once needed to exist. Your thoughts are all good - you are doing well. Happy 2012.

    • Carlon Michelle profile image

      Carlon Michelle 6 years ago from USA

      It sounds like you're coming into your own and finding out things you like to do and bring you joy and friends that are worthy of your time. I think everyone has a stretch of time where they do this or need to take time to do so. It's easy though to slip from this time into depression and becoming complacent. Life should be felt, experienced and challenged with many moments of excitement.

      So I say to you my dear, push out of your comfort zone from time to time and learn to balance the time you need alone with dealing with life and the different types of people that fill it. When you find a personality that causes negative behavior or reactions from you, let that person go but don't stop trying to find ones that will enrich your life because you're worth it and good people and great experiences do exist.

    • Alma Cabase profile image

      Alma Cabase 6 years ago from Philippines

      No man is an island. We need to reach out and explore the what the world can offer. We only have approx. a hundred years to do so, wasting time is not a luxury we can't afford.

      This hub is pretty interesting.

      Keep it up.



    • profile image

      The Writers Dog 6 years ago

      One of the biggest mistakes I made in my life was letting people bring me out of isolating myself. Today I was reminded why I did so in the first place, and have decided to go back to my comfort zone - self isolation.

    • carolinemd21 profile image

      Caroline Marie 6 years ago

      Interesting hub. I find myself going back and forth. I need social interaction to feel happy, but then need to retreat back to my own for a little bit. I also learned by getting rid of the people who are negative makes me a lot happier.

    • Alecia Murphy profile image

      Alecia Murphy 6 years ago from Wilmington, North Carolina

      I understand where you're coming from Nia. I'm an only child and sometimes I choose to self-isolate. It's a habit but as I've gotten older I've desired more contact. However, I make a conscious choice to interact with certain people and not everyone like I did when I was younger. I think we become smarter about how to interact but not always as open which can be bad. Interesting hub.