- Gender and Relationships»
He Cheated Me
Beware sometimes it was just beside you.
What you will do if you find your husband cheating on you??
This is a story of my life that I will never forget. I just want to share to all that this is one of the most common problem a couple would have in their relationship. And how things ends up to us. Well, It is true that this this kind of incident in life will make a great impact to us psychologically and emotionally towards to impending relationship or to even continuing marriage.
I myself would say that this experience made me almost plunged either but somewhat it made me stronger and taught me how to forgive the most unjustifiable sin what our dear GOD always do for us. Due to this, today I am more confident that our relationship need more uplift to HIM to achieve a blessed life and our bond of love.
My husband that time works as Warehouse Supervisor, he's in-charge of deliveries of our products to the clients. And I work as Executive Secretary to the President. Then She (the mistress) works as Accounts Receivable Staff. We all work under the same Company but I was under a different management. (That is why we're allowed to work even were married). And I want all of you to know that my office was same with 'her', she's 3 yards away from my table...
Think and pray.. all will be answered.
Trust your guts if you felt something not right
At first it was just a hint, you see he was a kind of guy who was not organized in many ways, then suddenly he was. Like I can't see his cellphone around, that's interesting to me, and I'm wondering "why?”, however, I didn't ask. I'm just observing of things that was not right after that.
Then, another came up, I always see him at the office!, while his transaction was always at the warehouse deliveries and not office matters, that's surprising for me again of course but then again I didn't ask. After that I suddenly discovered something above what I expected.
While he was at our office he take a pictures of her while She was doing her paper works, wondering how??, Well he just sat somewhere near her that she can't notice, take a shot of her using the Office Camera (of course no flash she might notice it) we used for business purposes. What he didn't realize was I'm observing him somehow and I wondered... 'What he was doing in that corner of the office and trying as if fixing the camera?!, then he leave the area, I'm surprised on what I find!, HIS ADMIRATION FOR HER, 10 shots of her face on that cam!!, shocking it is but then again, I never ask, I stayed calm just to reason out his action. Besides she's a kind of girl that will never like any man that was married already(well that's what I think that time)..
Confirmation of your Doubt
He confirmed that he has a crush on her...
At first I'm hesitant to ask him of his obvious admiration for her. But another side of me saying "I must know the truth", well I'm the wife and I have all the rights to know it... Then one day I got the guts to ask him "Are you having admiring her that much?", he didn't ask but instead ask me too "Why do you ask". Being shock that little by little I'm hurting myself to truth I still continue to ask him... "Well, I just ask because it was totally obvious". Then he smiled and said "Yes, I like her".
Even I know he will said that, I'm still upset, but I hide it to him, instead I made him comfortable to talk about her and how did he come up to that such feeling with her. I want him to feel that I'm supporting him because it was just a crush and I'm his wife. Everything will be just the way it is.. but it was not as I thought it was..
It was like my life stop, that my world just end
I gave all my understanding to him, I even supported him that having a crush is a normal thing to us. But he take it for granted, he did something I was not ready to know. He tried to court her, and then she gave him a chance (all things just happened it short period of time). Then not knowing, they're having affair...
And I'm very thankful I discovered that affair, as early before my husband decided to leave me and my daughter. So I confronted him first, I didn't ask him to choose me rather I choose to send him away and made him feel his not worth of my love. I even hand over my husband to her, asking her "Do you love my husband??, come and take him his all yours". But she answered to me that they were just FRIENDS, well that's something, she refused to admit she's having affair with my husband, while her word of endearment to my husband was "Papa" and to her "Mama" (that's another and long story to tell when I discovered that). To make it short, she deny that my husband never court her.
Knowing that info with hard evidence, she still rejecting everything I say to her. But she can't even answer a simple question from like:
"Okay, if you're friends, why you call him "Papa"?
"Why you need to say i love you to him?"
"Why you need to demand for his return call that night, when his was not unreachable?"
"Why you were so shock that night and were not able to answer me when I was the one who answered the phone for him?"(Because I made him to say "Hello" to her call, but I was the one who listened to her call)
That moment I want to crash her, she manages to be calm in her every movement, while obviously she wrecks my married life so bad. So, I stayed calm, more than her, I never even say a cursed to her, even though I'm overwhelmed by so much anger to them... That's when I decided, this should not be handled by anger... But rather patience... I'll make them explain why they did it to me.
Accepting the Fact, it happen already - Even my world ends up suddenly, I still need to compose myself
That day, talking to them was the awful part of my life back then. And even I felt like suffering that morning I still need to go to work after our confrontation, it happened Monday night, so I need to bear and compose myself the next morning to go to my usual work and that Tuesday morning, three of us talked and talked a lot of things but still in the end she said to me "Your husband and I are just friends and whatever I did wrong, I'm sorry", and the only thing I can say to that, I'm not GOD, but I will try to forgive her, If GOD can, who am I not to forgive. BUT, for now she must leave, she must promise that we will never see her again, and whatever happens she will never even reply to my husband if he try to contact her. Finally, she gave me look and smiled at me and say she will...
While for my husband, he didn't promise anything, instead he said to me that he will do whatever I want, that whatever question I have, he will answer me to the best he can and I'm thankful he did, like:
When did you court her? - Last November (I discovered it Feb the next year)
How intimate is your relationship? - Mutual Understanding and came up with words of endearment. They saw each other after office (while me thought that time he was working late), then some weekend they dated (while me I'm with my daughter at my mother in law residence, knowing that he need to work overtime for that Sunday). Moreover, something happened to them, twice.
Where did you do it? - In nearby hotel where they usually meet.
Is there a time that two of you do it and then you made love with me? - YES.
Having that question and answer might think that I'm a masochist. But I'm not, I just want to know how and where I plummet so I will know how will I stand again. I told my husband... "Do something for me... Tell me everything, up to the deepest thing the two of you shared. So that I may know how deep my forgiveness must be...”
Yourself is the key
Love yourself as GOD's loves you... respect it and you will earn it
Of all the things have done and said, I'm fortunate that my husband and I were still here, adding more to our family tree. What I can say to those who experienced the same, don't full yourself out of anger, instead think some way you can reached with them emotionally and don't be afraid to let go, for that might our dear creator has given us more for what we expect for our self.
Love yourself unconditionally subsequently you will do the same to your partner. Don't love because you want to be loved, rather love because you’re enchanted with it. Be a friend who says truthful words, even it hurts, so that your friend will do the same and make you realize that living life is a matter of accepting what hurts and what you learned with it.
Always remember, you’re not alone, each of us have different story to tell, and in the end we have the same goal in life... to achieve all our wants and needs that significant in our living.
This is my way of unfolding, for such I find how to mend my broken heart...
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