- Gender and Relationships
How to Be a Good Girlfriend
When learning how to be a good girlfriend, one must look past every other relationship around them and figure out what to do in their own relationship. Every relationship is unique from the rest, and looking around at all of those seemingly perfect relationships around you will only force you to compare yours to theirs and make it feel inferior.
Relax! I’m here to tell you how to be a good girlfriend through a list of do’s and don’t’s. Comparing your relationship to other relationships, whether someone else’s or one of your past relationships, would definitely fall under the don’t’s list! Ready...Set...Be a good girlfriend!
The Do's and Don'ts of How to Be a Good Girlfriend
These simple suggestions can be great building blocks to any new relationship just starting to flourish, especially if you're still in the 'getting to know each other' stage!
Keep in mind though, these tips may not apply for every couple. Feel out the situation and always keep an open line of communication with your beau to know for sure what he likes and dislikes.
Be straightforward. You’re in this together, there’s no need to be wishy washy, expecting him to be able to read your mind! Know what you want and communicate it! It will save time, aggravation, and avoid arguments.
Be good-humored. We all have those times when we’re in a bad mood, especially around that time. It’s important to keep a good sense of humor about yourself no matter what, and don’t be afraid to throw his humor right back at him. Relax, don’t be so serious all the time, sheesh! (Wet willlllllyyy!)
Talk about him. Ask him about his day, let him talk about how he feels or what plans he might have. Let him talk about him. A lot of times, we get into talking about ourselves and it really can bore a dude to death if the ball doesn’t go both ways! Pass him the talking ball once in a while.
Compliment him. We as women, know that we love to hear that we are pretty, there’s no denying it. Likewise, guys like to hear if they look attractive--so tell him! Not only will it fluff his ego and make him feel good, but you’re bound to get more compliments down the road as you both make good habit of this!
Find a common hobby. If he has a sport that he loves, give it a try. If you have a sport that you love, invite him to try! Need to find a common ground? Try something new together!
Give him space. Whether he’s angry about something or just wants to chill with his buddies, let him have his space. Don’t be blowing up his phone the whole time, either! He will appreciate it.
Trust him. If he says he’s doing something, trust him. If he has a female friend or a few he likes to hang out with, trust him. Never, ever spy on him or snoop through his phone or messages in search of something you think is going on. What’s a relationship without trust? Not a healthy one. After all, if he’s really a cheater, it will be surfaced eventually and you can deal with it then. In the mean time, don’t let mistrust crush a would-be perfectly awesome relationship!
Nag. Nagging is one of a guy’s biggest turn off’s from a relationship, and if it’s early on in the relationship, expect to be cut off quickly! You’re not married yet, and may not be living together, so don’t nag on him. Give a guy a break.
Give the silent treatment. Giving the silent treatment to a guy is the same as saying “I’m mad at you, I expect you to know why and make it better ASAP.” Communication in a relationship is just as important as trust, so learn how to effectively communicate what’s wrong without fighting about it, or resorting to the silent treatment.
Be selfish. Relationships are a game of equal give and take. Sacrifices are often made on both ends in an effort to make the other happy! If it can make him happy, don’t skip out on it just because there’s not something in it for you, capische?
Rush into things. Some guys like to move fast, while others might be scared away at such a tactic. Never assume that the guy you’re with wants to be in bed with you by the end of the first week. Take your time, enjoy each other, then decide when you’re ready to move into a different level.
Set expectations. The only person in life you should ever set expectations for is yourself, as we are all our own people on our own paths, doing things the way we do them, period. Don’t expect him to be the guy to show up with flowers and chocolates on your first date. If that’s what you’re looking for in a relationship, find it in someone who does those things, don’t just expect it. Don’t expect anything.
Be jealous. Jealousy is another big turn off for a guy. They don’t like to be on a leash and told that they cannot any longer talk to their female friends (which is control, by the way). If you see girls checking him out while he’s by your side, smile at the fact that he’s a total hunk (and tell him that he is!), that the other chicks aren’t with him, and that you’re his main squeeze!
Hold grudges. We all make mistakes, it’s a matter of learning how to forgive certain mistakes and move forward from them. Holding grudges will only make you a bitter person, so why sacrifice your own happiness in an effort to make someone feel bad for what they did in the past?
Speak His Love Language
This one I felt so important that it needed its own section, otherwise it would be at the top of the “do’s” list! But what does it mean? Often times, we get so caught up in loving our partners in ways that are most convenient to us, which tends to also be our personal love language.
What’s a love language? There is an amazing book written by Dr. Gary Chapman called "The 5 Love Languages" that I recommend every couple to read! In a nutshell, it talks about how and why relationships can be more successful if we focus on loving our partner’s in their love language instead of our own. It explains what the 5 love languages are and helps you to determine what yours is, and you are encouraged to share this with your partner.
Some couples share the same love language which is often those couples you see who are just perfect for each other! But the truth is, any couple can be perfect for each other given that they both try! So, if you really want to learn how to be a good girlfriend, read the book or head on over to the love languages website and have both of you take the love languages quiz, sharing the results with each other, you might be surprised! You never know, it could be a relationship saver!