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- Happy Marriages
8 Ingredients of A Happy Marriage
Look around you or picture some couples in a marriage relationship in your mind and tell me what you see. Perhaps you see some happy couples holding hands and laughing together, talking to each other in that likeable manner that shows deep understanding showing intimate connection and you get the picture immediately that this is pure love with all those display of affection…
Or maybe, you see two couples and one look at them, you start getting the disturbing feeling of ‘what are they still doing together’. You see the disconnect, you see the infighting and you see the incompatibility and every other similar thing of that nature that makes you to start wondering was there was ever love between these two…?
Or maybe, you will see some people too who are not here or there and you get that the relationship is standing dangerously on the brink and anything could push it over…too bad!
Most likely, you will get the feeling that something very important is missing. You will discover that these things could just be the reason why the whole relationship of a thing seems not to be working.
Now include yourself in those pictures! What about you?
After taking a closer look at some certain relationships, no matter where you find yourself, I have come to realize that they are some very basic and important things that could wreck any marriage/relationship if they are missing in your relationship…
What could they be? Let’s see. I call them the eight ingredients of a happy marriage.
When the two parties involved do not have/show respect for each other, then I don’t see how the relationship is bound to survive. The respect I mean is that which comes from a deed regard for the feelings or rights of the other person. When you have respect for your partner, you will not be too wanton to do those things capable of vexing him/her. You will start paying great attention to details and you will be careful to take the pains to know those things that you do which can hurt his/her feelings and how far you can go and when you can apply the breaks when you spot the danger/warning signals.
Unfortunately because human beings are quite unpredictable, at least to some extent, I know it will be such a difficult task to advise you to be ready to stomach all that nonsense from your partner just because you want the marriage/relationship to work but then you know what…?
I’m afraid because that’s exactly the advice!
One thing everybody loves is sincerity and when you have a partner who is so sincere, you can go to sleep with both eyes closed because you now have someone whom you trust. There will be no reason for distrust, deceit or deception and the worst of the whole bunch which is pretense. What s/he is saying is what it is exactly the way it is.
Is your relationship having some cracks right now? And you do not actually know what could be the problem? Why don’t you check your sincerity level, both of you!
Obedience could be seen as the compliance or submission to another’s authority. It is one of basic foundation for the sustenance of any marriage relationship.
Obedience is often looked upon as a feminine virtue in that most people often misconstrue it to mean that women are supposed to be the obedient partner while the man is the boss after all it’s a men’s world…oh oh!
If that is your case, fine. I don’t have to say anything against that as long as it is working for both of you but then I don’t think men should automatically use that thinking disposition to force the women into slavish submission.
Should there be bounds in a relationship? Let me see…Yes there should be. These bounds that I am talking about are almost like a set of unspoken and unwritten rules and regulation that normally exists in any given relationship.
But like we all say, for every rule there must be an exception. This exception is tolerance. Tolerance is the ability as well as the willingness to accept each others shortcomings.
It is not easy to tolerate many things especially from someone whom you have decided and vowed to be with for better or for worse for a long time to come which is why is it seriously and strongly advised that people choose their life(?) partners carefully.
There is no way I can tell you how much you can tolerate from him/her. Everyone of us has got his/her own vagaries, we’ve got our respective whims and caprices too but the power of saving a dying relationship or making a relationship work could actually come from the recognition and realization of this very fact.
Tolerance will lead up to the next important ingredient of a happy marriage which is...
Yes, tolerance will lead to forgiveness. When you break or go beyond those bounds thus causing your partner to regret ever meeting you, when you cause the other person to start having doubts, there could be only one remedy when everything else fails.
Time for forgiveness. Our people use to say that if there is no offense, there will be no forgiveness.
In other words, there will be offense because someone will at one point in time, willingly or unwillingly offend the other person and it is now left for the person offended to reciprocate with…forgiveness of course!
I know that forgiveness could be very hard considering what this other person has put you through but then you want your relationship to work, don’t you?
So have you forgiven your partner of late?
You see? And you still wondering why the whole thing seems like it is not working?
Faithfulness is a virtue that must exist in any strong relationship. It could be seen as one of the major factors that can make or mar any relationship. Faithfulness is the complete trust and confidence in your partner.
Faithfulness is about remaining loyal to your partner in all aspects of your lives and relationship most especially in your sexual relationships.
Faithfulness is so important because any breach experienced be it suspected or real is always treated as that scar that will always remind one of the injury or wound that caused it in the first place.
When there is perfect understanding existing, there is every chance that the marriage will work because understanding connotes perfect compatibility between couples.
A marriage relationship where there is understanding is a happy marriage. The couples involved always find it easier to avoid and eliminate unnecessary troubles, and tensions and problems from their marriage.
Perfect understanding makes everything so in tandem. Perfect understanding is a must if the different units are going to work as one. It precludes unnecessary interference from outsiders who may not be so patient or keen enough to understand the internal workings of such marriage relationship
Of course…Certainly you know that for sure. Love is the summary of all we have been saying so far.
If there is no love or even a semblance of it, the relationship is heading for a jittery shattering. The love I am talking about here is that type of special love which comes straight from the bottom of the heart which makes one party to see the other as an extension of his or herself.
When there is no love, there is no life or any chance of survival for the relationship. This is simply because love is the only emotion that can guarantee and sustain such a relationship in the face of all adversities. Granted, there could be several challenges and many problems coming from many angles that can threaten the relationship but if indeed there is love existing in the relationship, then I think there is no cause for alarm simply because love heals all.
In fact, everything we have been saying will come to naught if there is no Love…never was! That is to show you how important love really is as it has always remained as the top number one ingredients of ANY happy marriage!