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How to Notice a Depressed Boyfriend

Updated on June 13, 2019
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Desmond has been a renown poet and inspirational man for almost 9 years now. He has taught many young kids aspiring to be poets in schools.

Have you noticed that your boyfriend is behaving weirdly of late? Could it be that he is going through some emotional imbalance? I don’t know but I suggest you don’t turn a blind eye to such, more especially if you have some time with him and you can boldly say “I know this guy, it’s not him!” Guys are hard to notice if they are going through a rough patch, they can easily hide their emotions from you but no matter what, if you know your boyfriend you will always tell if there is something wrong. The one billion dollar question is, how would you tell that he may be depressed? You may notice few changes but the depression conclusion lies within him.

“Try to see beyond what he wants you to see…


Know what has been happening around him lately because issues like retrenchment at work, demotion, passing on of a relative or even the passing on of an ex, could attract this emotion parasite. Hurting you is the last thing he would do maybe, but remember that he would fight to see you smile even if he is not. I am a man, no man can deceive me easily but trust me most men can deceive a ladies as much a lady can deceive a man. When you start noticing these few signs, do not conclude that he is depressed but be sure to create a suitable atmosphere in which he can vent out.

He is quiet nowadays

If you know your boyfriend to be this lively guy, bubbly and more extroverted and for whatever reason he started changing, you are not wrong to start worrying. Silence is a common sign of depression and some guys resort to it because they just can’t talk anymore. You must understand that saying what hurts you is not being weak and that your boyfriend has to know. Get him talking, don’t complain with his sudden silence but sit him down and let him say it all out. It is boring to have a quiet man and you can’t just keep quiet about it. If he won’t do that or you feel there is more to what he told you, ask him if he would mind seeing a specialist, someone trained to absorb others pain. Remember that he may not want to tell you everything not because he despises you but because he doesn’t want to see you sad as he is.

He snaps at you too often

One thing that guys do unintentionally which I want you to take notice of is snapping. Your man should not snap at you! He loves you right? Why then shout at you? Something must be wrong with the guy and not just that, he needs help. Whenever your boyfriend does this remember my advice; do not snap as well, prepare yourself to be a sponge that will absorb immense pain anytime soon. Most girls when they notice this, start to think that there is another girl coming in which is not always the case. When you start suspecting infidelity, that’s what you will soon get. When you understand your relationship to be a descent one, I mean not abusive, then probably he is going through mind unrest and he is desperately in need of you. Please don’t draw yourself far from him, come closer, be open and let him talk to you.


He isolates himself

Isolation may not always be negative but if you find it a strange thing for your boyfriend, he is probably depressed. There is definitely something going on in the mind of your man which makes him think people won’t understand. I think you are not any other woman, I trust you are your man’s strongest half. You should prove to him that you are there for him. Check on him often, sometimes just cuddle and be silent letting your two hearts converse. Love is a best expressed when listening which means you should cut down on talking and start listening. Men, just like women, keep friends and they seldom isolate themselves from them unless there is something fishy. It’s important to notice how the friendship of your man with his folks goes. This does not apply to friends only, sometimes it’s you he isolates from and when you are at that level, I suggest you urge him to open up though he may at first deny everything and tells you all is well even though you both see that none is. Never let your man isolates himself more frequently even if he is a religious man who would try to hide behind his string-attached meditations. He must understand that he may not talk to everyone but you are the last person he can ignore, he has no right to give you the silent treatment. Listen to this; silence kills, it killed the relationship between people and their political leaders and so it can ravage your relationship. I know there are ladies who like to give their boyfriends the silent treatment but I wonder why they would rather talk to their girlfriends. I see this as not being wise and if it continues it will slowly kill both of you. Ok back to boys, get that guy talking he can’t be silent, he just can’t, something has to come out.


He over smokes and drinks

Let’s say you have a boyfriend who drinks, you ladies know the level he drinks and the level he smokes. No matter what, you know to what extent he should drink even if he is a heavy drinker. When he smokes or even drinks, what is usually his motive? To get drunk and go to bed or he is doing so to try to make himself forget something that he is struggling to on sober grounds? You know better! I personally think most people drink to excite themselves and that’s it but if it’s more than that, it’s probably depression. Worst is when you have a man who does not smoke at all or doesn’t drink and out of the blue you notice he just started. What! Just like that? Talk to that guy! I sense depression right there.

He develops a worrying appetite

There is no better place for a man to hide his depression than food. Most chubby men confessed that they were depressed by their weight and so resorted to over-eating. That is true for light weight men as well, food has become their best hiding place. If you notice that you man has started over-eating, do not be fooled to think he is finally happy, that guy has a lot to say. Some guys resort to smoking and drinking but yours may have ran to eating more than enough. The opposite is true as well. Some men when depressed, lose appetite and cut down significantly on food intake which is a powerful sign that that guy needs help. If you are a woman and you notice your man to be shy on food intake don’t just force him to eat but speak as well.

He talks too much nowadays

I know that I mentioned that silence is one of the best signs of depression, talking can also be a sign of a depressed heart. If you know you man to be a calm soft spoken guy and all of a sudden he changed to be this loud guy, I suggest you take that into consideration. A significant change of character warns us of a change of state of mind which can either be good or terrible. Do not be always suspicious of your man being depressed, he may not be. My advice is to those who, when they read this article feel there is a lot they have been overlooking. People sick of Cancer are better than depressed people because they want to live whilst their counterpart want to die.

This content is accurate and true to the best of the author’s knowledge and is not meant to substitute for formal and individualized advice from a qualified professional.

© 2019 Desmond Goitsemang

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