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Blueprint for Love Book: How to Use Pain to Build a Solid Relationship

Updated on September 15, 2019
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Miel is a licensed teacher, a "Jane-of-all-trades" master of none, with a passion for writing.

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Photo by Diego PH on Unsplash | Source

The Amazon #1 International Bestselling author and psychotherapist Heather Hans has launched her new international bestseller Blueprint For Love: Use Your Pain To Build A Solid Relationship.

Blueprint for Love: Use Your Pain to Build a Solid Relationship

Blueprint for Love: Use Your Pain to Build a Solid Relationship
Blueprint for Love: Use Your Pain to Build a Solid Relationship
A Blueprint for Love uses not only a deep dive into the why and how of loving, but equally important, a way to leverage your pain to build a better you and through that journey, a better relationship with yourself and others.
 

The book had been launched last year. Yet, it’s still gaining more positive feedback from readers. It’s not the usual self-help book that only displays an approach for using pain to build a better relationship between ourselves and the love life.

Using pain in building a solid relationship

Heather Hans, who is also a teacher, renowned speaker, artist, and the visionary healer has always delivered inspiration to people all over the world with new achievements and innovations all the time. Now, her book brings a new promise of helping people to become a better version of themselves.

Photo by Jonas Von Werne on Unsplash
Photo by Jonas Von Werne on Unsplash | Source

As a licensed Clinical Social Worker & Psychotherapist, a certified Professional Intuitive Coach, a certified Law of Attraction Advanced Practitioner, and a certified holistic healer, Ms. Hans knows how to channel her message effectively and creatively to people in all walks of life all over the world.

The book also becomes a form of therapy that gets to the root of the problem so that people don’t have to go back to the same treatment with the same relationship issues again. It’s more similar to psychotherapy that’s effective for everyone. This book is the second Amazon #1 International Bestseller from her previous The Heart of Self Love: How To Radiate With Confidence.

Ms. Hans, the founder of Love Heals Productions, LCC stated that “Pain is a powerful gift to transform our lives. Whatever you think you cannot do because of pain, fear, and failures of the past, I will prove to you that you can - not despite them, but because of them!

One of the readers, Muhammad Salman, claimed, "Indeed a great book. This book emphasizes on strengthen the relationship with your mate. Once the relationship will be strong, you'll enjoy your love even in sorrows and pains."

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Photo by Road Trip with Raj on Unsplash | Source

Overcoming pain

Pains are never easy to manage. Each strain is very personal. Some of them make us feel wretched. Often times, pain spawns worthlessness. But, certain matters will help us lessen the damaging outcomes of pain.

Direct your feelings on your blessings

It’s effortless to binge on things out of proportion when we’re in pain. Then, it brews apparent aspects of our lives larger and more crucial than they should be.

It’s bound to happen that we get so close to our pain that nothing else seems to matter. Yet, things do matter.

The fact is, there are a lot of things that matter. More so, a lot of things we can be genuinely grateful.

What are the things you are grateful for today? Who are the people who make you happy every day?

Photo by Guillaume de Germain on Unsplash
Photo by Guillaume de Germain on Unsplash | Source

What events in your life today that made you forget about your pain? Small things can also be blessings when we really think about it.

When we focus on our blessings and the things we are most grateful, it positions our feelings into the proper perspective.

Being grateful helps us re-prioritize and shift our focus into more relevant and meaningful people and events. This new focus will bring us to a grander array of joy and fulfilment in the long-run.

Direct on your strengths

It's crucial to remind yourself how strong you are when looking for a direction through instants of pain. Strengths come in several forms, such as faith, optimism, patience, self-esteem, compassion, forgiveness, etc.

These essentials will help you overcome this challenging period of life. Focusing on your strengths will direct you to recover the self-esteem that you need to move further from this painful situation.

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Photo by Lubo Minar on Unsplash | Source

More so, re-direct your energies away from what’s hurting you. Re-focus your strongest qualities.

Let go.

Do you still hold on to the things that hurt you years or decades ago? People who experienced betrayal and injustice hold on to these hurts. But what’s the point?

Can you reverse the past experience? But we can’t. So, I’m going to ask the same question, what’s the point?

What’s in the past happened is gone. Let go and move on. It’s never easy. No one said it would be easy. But, nothing is impossible for you to move on as well.

Letting go and moving forward doesn’t mean to forget about everything. Those critical moments of our lives gave us essential life lessons. We can benefit from it to make better decisions in the present. Still, never allow past pains to haunt and intensify the pain in your present life.

Photo by Paul Gilmore on Unsplash
Photo by Paul Gilmore on Unsplash | Source

Smile Often

Experience pain is a state of mind. We feel pain because we recognize and acknowledge specific circumstances, people’s intentions, and events that contribute to our misery.

Have you ever thought that that person might view the same circumstance differently? What caused you pain might not even ring them. It’s all a state of mind.

Smiling a little more will help you alter your state of mind. A whole new domain of possibilities will open up for you.

Accepting responsibility

Most individuals experience pain at its worst because they feel they had little control over the circumstance. The person feels there’s someone to blame, and he’s the victim in the situation. It makes the person feel powerless. Also, it’s tough to move past the pain.

Many people don’t realize that admitting responsibility for what happened (and how events took place) is one way to at once feel better about themselves. Little did we know, that in some way, in every aspect or not, we played a part in designing the painful outcome.

Photo by christian buehner on Unsplash
Photo by christian buehner on Unsplash | Source

Recognize that we are at least to a certain extent, accountable for what happened. Taking accountability is a good thing. When we take account, we welcome the willingness to bring about positive change.

Choose inspiring people to surround you.

Does it feel at once better to talk about your emotions with other people? Get the viewpoint of a close family member or friend about your situation. They may also help you in resolving your feelings.

Furthermore, avoid toxic people who make you feel less than who you are. Be with friends who make you laugh and understand your limitations but encourage you with your strengths as well.

Don’t take things personally.

People who continue to grasp things personally end up feeling hurt each time. Be mindful that each person is going on some delicate struggles as well.

Photo by Robert Collins on Unsplash
Photo by Robert Collins on Unsplash | Source

People say and do things because it’s how they also work through their personal problems or insecurities. Most of the time, what the revealed and acted might have nothing to do with you.

Step outside yourself during instances of pain and try to view at the whole picture from another person’s perspective. Show compassion for the other person, and maybe you both could help work through your own problems or insecurities.

We all make mistakes.

There’s no avoiding that sooner or later someone will hurt you. More often than not, some of these people never hurt you intentionally. We all make mistakes of offending someone or some people not on purpose.

How often have you realized that you made a blunder and end up remorseful of the things you did and say? Yet, some do not own up to their mistakes. It would injure their pride.

What we all need is compassion, patience, and understanding. It might take some time to come around and admit their mistakes, but we have all been stubborn and senseless in our time as well.

Photo by Brooke Cagle on Unsplash
Photo by Brooke Cagle on Unsplash | Source

Accepting people’s limitations and their actions will also give you an important lesson to be more cautious about how you should say and act to people. You might never want to be in that shoes in the future.

Final thoughts

Every pain we experience opens an opportunity to learn more about our life. It also opens doors to learn more about our expectations and values. Furthermore, it widens our perception of others and how we relate to them.

Also, pain can make us contemplate into other people’s feelings, intentions, and motives. And the most important thing is that it allows us to know ourselves. We recognize our emotional tendencies at a more profound level.

Then, we learn to grow and create better choices in the future. Lastly, it supports us to manage our emotions and lessens our pain well.

© 2019 Miel Reyes

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