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How to Make Someone Fall in Love With You

Updated on November 3, 2011

How to Make Someone Fall in Love With You

Ladies and gentlemen, in case you haven't figured it out: there is no easy answer to this one. But don't despair. There are a few things you can do that can significantly skew the odds in your favor. Before you continue, however a few notes: this article is not one of those manipulative ones that gives you all the right steps. Those never work. This article won't show you the EXACT way to approach someone, be they man or woman. Once again, those never work. And another thing that this article is not: a quick fix. Guess what: they don't work.

This article is for people (both men and women) who have a genuine interest in someone else, and would like to take the next steps, but don't know how. This article won't show you how to make someone fall in love with you directly - it'll show you how you can become a target of love more easily, thus achieving the same goal.

With that in mind, let's get to it!

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Appearance

Our culture is very hung up on appearance. Everybody tries to look like an Aphrodite or an Adonis (which simply means that everybody tries very hard to look essentially the same). I'm here to tell you that appearance isn't that important. Bodily shape does play a role, but really not as much as you think. Being slightly overweight (or under-weight) isn't that much of an issue; being very much so is. In that case, it might be worth it to speak with a doctor or a dietician to see what you can do.

The most important thing of all, trumping the above, is cleanliness and personal style. Cleanliness because scent is one of the 5 major senses (you know how something you smell reminds you of your childhood? like that). Your style, because this will tell your interest that you care about your appearance.

It might be worth it to digress into scent a little bit more here. The sense of smell is vitally important, and perfumes can be used to very good effect. A tip or two: stick to something that reflects your character, and try to avoid ones that smell too floral, too sweet, or of shower gel. Those tend to be the cheaper ones, and they'll almost always have a turn-off effect.

The person you're after will be able to detect it, and will always notice the change, especially if it's permanent. They'll immediately be more attracted, since so few people are actually happy with themselves, and think badly of themselves. This is, to a large degree, a function of the environment we live in. The moment you swim against the stream a little, you become very interesting.

Self-Worth

Something to do while sorting your appearance is to cultivate a sense of self-worth. Nobody wants someone who thinks little of themselves. Delegate that little voice in your head to a back seat for now. You know the one: you're not good enough, you're always doing that, and so on. That voice doesn't get a say for a while. You need to begin, if you don't already, genuinely liking yourself. You need to look around and really ask yourself if you're happy with who you are. If you aren't, change it now. And be proud that you did. Not too proud, of course, but a gentle, quiet pride.

Two quick tips here: faking it can only go so far if you're trying to do so only on the surface. However, if you fake it to yourself, you can make it. If you're still having trouble, try to pick up a hobby, or focus on something you're good at or gives you pleasure, such as music or painting. This will increase you sense of accomplishment, automatically increasing your sense of self-worth.

Happiness

This is a crucial factor, and one that is often overlooked by all of the relationship advice I've ever read (and trust me - I've read a ton). When you're after someone, you tend to get into a curious thought-cycle where you imagine that you can only be happy if you're with that person. This causes your sub-conscious to think "well, if that's the case, I must be unhappy now, since I'm not with that person". Naturally, this leads to deeper and deeper unhappiness. No matter how romantic it may seem to pine after someone, resist it.

In fact, do the opposite. Be happy now. Plug into your sense of self-worth and realize that right now, you lack for nothing. The future is the future, the past is the past. Right now, you are happy.

Happiness attracts. This is a fundamental truth. Try it. Walk down the street with a frown on, and then walk down the street again with a huge smile on your face. You'll notice people noticing you that much more.

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Confidence

Someone who is timid is unlikely to be attractive. This is true of men as well as women. While you don't have to be an Alpha-type person, you do have to have a confidence in your actions. If you've been following the advice above, you should have more than enough to feel confident about. Style is important here, as it supports your sense of self-worth. Your happiness also does so, and will lend you an air of confidence all by itself.

It is important, with all of these factors but especially with this one, not to overdo it. Don't become unapproachable. Simply become quietly confident in yourself, and project that confidence in your movements and in your words. Make sure that your body language aligns with this. Furthermore, do a bit of approaching yourself. It certainly can't hurt.

Likewise, don't have an arrogant attitude, and stay away from people who do. Arrogance is confidence taken to the extreme, and is a very unattractive trait. It's okay to be slightly stand-offish, but don't take it too far.

And Guess What

If you follow this advice, you will become more comfortable and happier as a person, and you'll also be much more likely to attract the kind of person you'd like in your life - someone who cares about their appearance, is happy with who they are, is confident, and is a genuine person. You'll also become much more noticeable to whoever it is you'd like.

Furthermore, if you don't get the person you're after, be happy anyhow: you're now much more likely to find the right one. And if they aren't in your life, then they probably aren't the right one anyhow.

With all of that said, I wish you the very best of luck, and I hope you find the right person.

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