How to Love Her
Okay, Okay, I know you are thinking what does a straight girl know about how she should be loved. Well, all I have to say is no duh. First I used to be a girlfriend, five times. Yeah five times…pretty average you would think. It is. I think. But yea, I have been in at least five relationships and all of them have ended within a five weeks period and it's because these boys don’t know how to love me.
So let’s get to it, shall we. One, be yourself. The worst thing that men don’t know is that women can smell phony men and it is not cool. I usually, once in a while, come across the sweetest guy with me, but a thug amongst his friend. If I wanted a thug I would date a homeless man in New York. But I don’t! So just chill and be yourself …its okay.
Two, don’t be scared of being gay. Feminine men are so cute especially the ones that roll their eyes. I love it. Don’t go overboard and start sleeping with men, that’s not cool. But be feminine if you like being that way. It’s a turn on.
Okay next, be deep. Don’t be a shallow son of a gun that only likes me for my looks. I mean looks are expected to be part of the package but liking me just for that is not cool. Ask questions about in depth things like what is my dream place; religion is always deep so bring it up.
Next, be devoted. DON’T GO SNOOPING AROUND WITH MY ROOMMATE OR BEST FRIEND. That’s the worst thing ever…so don’t do it, so not cool.
Next, be sexy! I am not a very sexual person naturally so I need a sexy man. Nerds are sexy if they are the best nerds they can be. Please do not think I will reject a nerd because he’s geeky…but I will reject an arrogant nerd because that’s not a normal nerd and I love me some normal folks. Now on this subject if you are very manly, don’t overdo it by always being controlling. Treat me like you want me to treat you.
Last thing, don’t be a devil worshiper. I know most people are not devil worshipers. But, if you are…hmm…NO! So, make sure you accept Christ first and from there I’ll work with you. I know this is not all about me but Christ is the best so just do it …!!! You won’t regret it.
Okay let’s try to re cap, shall we. No Devil Worshipers. No dating roommates. No being someone you are not and be sweet.
Love is a pain but we can do it because we just can. If you truly love her go for it. If you just want sex, you are not ready for a real woman. Be real. Real is sexy. If you believe me and follow these rules unlike me, your relationship should last at least eight weeks. So, take it or leave it.