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Why do guys think that all girls have a bit of lesbian in them?

Updated on June 20, 2011

Us girls we are so magical, soft skin, red lips, so kissable, hard to resist, so touchable, too good to deny it! - Katy Perry, "I Kissed a Girl"

Photo by yapsnaps
Photo by yapsnaps

Why do guys think that all girls have a bit of lesbian in them?

I think the easy answer is that most of us do!

Personally, I believe that sexual attraction is fluid and often circumstantial, and that most people - heterosexual or homosexual - are a little bit bisexual, even if their actual partners have only been of one sex or the other. I've often joked that I'm straight, but would do Angelina Jolie if she asked me (ha!) and know a lot of other outwardly straight girls who have similar "girlcrushes."

It's no secret that most straight girls find women to be physically more beautiful than men, even if we're not actually sexually attracted to other women. This seems to give some poor guys a complex, if the quantity of penile enhancement spam that turns up in my email is any basis to judge. Sorry guys, but you're just kind of silly-looking down there and no amount of drugs is gonna fix that!

Lucky for you, most of us love you anyway! :)

Unfortunately for the 99.9% of straight men with a lesbian fetish, most straight girls take an attitude to the matter best articulated by Michael Novotny, a fictional gay man from the Showtime series Queer as Folk: "For a moment, I wished that I, too, could be a lesbian. Then I remembered I'd have to eat pussy, so I said forget it."

Fortunately for the same 99.9%, that still leaves the real lesbians and bisexuals (though most of these are not interested in "performing" for the benefit of straight men), the bicurious, and the straight girls willing to pretend to be bicurious in order to get male attention.

And like I said, I think more people than not are bicurious, if not actually bisexual, even if many would never admit it.

I'm Your Man

Why do girls like guys with a little bit of gay in them?

Notice I said more "people" than not are bisexual, and not just more "girls."

Yes, I think most guys are bisexual, too, even if they're usually much less willing to admit it. Ironically, I think some guys are missing out on a real opportunity by suppressing this side of themselves.

Everybody knows that straight guys have a lesbian fetish, but it's much less commonly admitted that straight girls have a gay fetish. It works on exactly the same principle as the lesbian fetish: one person I'm attracted to kissing another person is hot, two people I'm attracted to kissing each other is hotter!

There is a huge community of women who read, write, and watch gay erotica, often in the form of fanfiction. It's called "slash."

You see the same effect with the popularity of slightly androgynous, feminized men among many women, especially teen girls, who may feel safer in the new and often mine-filled territory of love and sex with someone "more like me." Think River Phoenix, Titanic-era Leonardo DiCaprio, or Zac Efron. The music scene has had popular bands who dress and sometimes act "gay" onstage for decades, and again, many of these bands are most popular with girls and women.

Many straight girls outgrow this stage. Others don't. And few outgrow an appreciation for pretty men shoving their tongues down each others' throats. That one's hardwired in the eyes!

A Present for the Ladies


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    • profile image


      4 years ago

      It is a matter of time that us men will become Obsolete.

    • profile image


      5 years ago

      the way that women have changed over the years, much more are experimenting with another woman these days. makes it much harder for us straight guys looking for a good straight woman to meet for a relationship today.

    • blaise25 profile image

      Fehl Dungo 

      6 years ago from close to you...

      Interesting hub..

    • profile image


      6 years ago

      anon of 6 months ago: you are not quoting the entire study and the conclusion thereof. actually, many women did get turned on by lesbians, gays, and heterosexual having sex. However, the same women would not choose to be in relationships with women because they were not emotionally seeking to attach to another female in a romantic way. how our bodies respond to various sexual stimuli is one thing. what we prefer and choose is another. in the same study, it was concluded that real lesbians are only turned on by women, and real gay men are only turned on by men. bi-sexuals were turned on by both but they ultimately preferred one gender over the other. this trendy girl on girl action is simply women's need to attract attention from males, because they have become aware that this is a current heterosexual male fantasy that has not so much to do with biology as it has to do with ego. biology dictates our behavior to a certain degree, but ego drives it. certainly, most men's biology pre-disposes the man to spread his seed. but how is it that many men prefer one partner with whom to have a meaningful relationship? because that is also biological, and there are actual hormonal reasons for that, which evolve over the course of a man's lifetime. as men get older, they nearly reverse roles with women. the amounts of hormones change and so does behavior. women change as well for the same reasons. check it out, since I don't have the time to get technical in here. and finaly, the media is responsible for our perceptions of sexuality as well as our behaviors. culture also has a strong pull on that. keep in mind that where there are 2 people, there will be conflict. add another to the equation, and you have a problem. I deal with people with sexual addictions who are in the depths of depression and agony because they destroyed their relationships, marriages, and families - for the sake of adding another member to their sex life. they all have the same wish: to go back and do it over the right way, without the complications of a threesome. sooner or later, one is left out. and girls, if you value yourselves, don't try to get attention by pretending to be bi. it will come back to bite you in the ass. literally and figuratively.

    • profile image

      Tyshawn Barnes 

      7 years ago

      What I personally think is that everyone have sexual desires no matter what the gender is. Experiencing different sexes is all apart of life because you would know what gender you would want to settle down with, with females most likely it will be a man because eventually they will get tired of making love to a female and would want to be with a man and with a male it would be with a female. I generally think that females that goes with females and males that goes with males are confused because if they wasn't, than why would females go out with other females mostly that look like a dude and males that goes out with other males that looks like females, this they still have the desire to be straight but scared to be hurt again. It doesn't matter gay or straight you still go through the same relationship problems.

    • profile image


      7 years ago

      Girl on girl porn doesn't do it for me sorry... As for those tests what does that matter that blood flow increases to your penis or vagina while watching gay porn? I mean that would mean we would all be gay and the vast majority are not gay.. It's kinda like when your body goes into fight or flight mode when your anxious or worried about something at work ect. ect... Your body reacts that away for whatever reason even though you aren't in any danger of being physically harmed. Whatever you believe is true for you.. So while watching two women might increase my blood flow it's not goin to give me a hard on.. It's all in your head. I'm sure I'm going to get hell for this too but i also believe that people choose to be gay.. I want the people who did that test to round up a bunch of gay people and make them sit around and watch straight porn and then that would mean that if the blood flow increased to their genatals then they would be straight, right? A red car is red right? You wouldn't grow up calling it blue would you? No unless you were taught to. Just like being gay most of us are raised to like the opposite sex. If you choose to do otherwise well that is a choice. When about people who have sex with cars (yes that exsists) are they born that way or is it a choice? Take that person and take them to the 1700s.. Would they still be longing to fuck a truck? No.. Basically everything you do is a choice. Free will it's what sets us apart from animals right? Oh yea and even they aren't gay.

    • profile image


      7 years ago

      "Anon 4 weeks ago

      Because all women are bisexual. Now I know some women reading this will take offense so I will explain this fact."

      yeah what you wrote proves nothing, fact is it wsent all women who did this test, therefore you cannot claim all women are bisexual, because they are not, there are women who do not like lesbian porn etc

    • profile image


      7 years ago

      Because all women are bisexual. Now I know some women reading this will take offense so I will explain this fact.

      There was an experiment done where men and women were to watch pornographic clips for the same amount of time each. The conductors of this experiment hooked up receptors on the genetalia to track amounts of blood flow. Throughout the experiment both genders were asked if they were turned on physically, and whether or not they were discusted or attracted by the clips. What was concluded was that both men and women got fully turned on after about 10 minutes of watching the same clips. When the same amount of blood flow in men and women appeared in the genetalia, men knew they were turned on while it took longer for women to realize they were physically turned on, even when they told the conductors they found the clips disgusting. What they also found out was that men don't get turned on just by watching by gay porn, sexual objects, animals mating, or bisexual porn. This differed from the women because they would get physically turned on by all of the above, while not knowing it even when disgusted by the clips.

      The different between men and woman genetalia is that men have a shaft that becomes more obvious when they are turned on. This is the true reaso why women think men are all sex addicts, because they actually know when they start to get turned on, whereas it takes women a longer time to realize it for them. So you see all women are biologically bisexual, environment and genetics are two factors to take into account.

      All the participants were straight.

    • secularist10 profile image


      8 years ago from New York City

      We all know the real reason women like men with a bit of gay in them: they dress nicer, smell better, groom more often, and love shopping. What more could a girl ask for. :)

    • profile image

      8 years ago

      I am a lesbian. And i ended up having a big crush on my best friend after about a year. But she is straight as she says. i told her that i liked her and she said it would never happen but were still friends. she use to call me baby, babe, boo hug me passionatlely and everything else. does this mean she has gay fetishes. i don't know but its bothering and i cant keep her off my mind. And i cant keep doing research either. Please can you help me?

    • profile image


      8 years ago

      oh i umm..definitely agree to that..i myself can be a proof :D

      well,i really cant say that i am a bisexual or a lesbo.but i like pretty girls like me..i oftenly appreciate the beauty they have in evry inch of their body that they have. :)

    • profile image


      8 years ago

      when i see a woman i feel ..i should have body like them i was so attracted to women and their assets now i wished i was a female. My body responds to men but i hate that i am still attracted to i bisexual or something else

    • Scarlett Black profile image

      Scarlett Black 

      8 years ago from New York

      A really great hub. I enjoyed. And yes we do!

    • K9keystrokes profile image

      India Arnold 

      8 years ago from Northern, California

      Kerry G, Enjoyed your article. Thought provoking and truly worth the read! I am new to hubpages, this being my first week. I've completed a couple things and am stopping by some of the more interesting reads,...hence my presence here. I look forward to following your writings. Can't wait to read the rest!

    • ZackW.Van profile image


      8 years ago from Wisconsin Area

      Oh for Christ sakes, get over yourself. If your so far in gods image prove that you have done nothing against the bible and that you live by not having ever broke or bended a single rule. If not, shut up because your just as guilty in having "thrown away d gift of god." God also wanted people to be happy. And he also created us "disgusting" people. so are you saying he was false? don't use the guile of religion over your ignorance. I'm a christian too.

      Kerry g, Brilliant as always. I laugh and think through your articles. Thanks for yet another good one.

    • Rossimobis profile image

      Chibuzo Melvin Mobis 

      8 years ago from Nigeria

      drlat,i got it from u..u r right.Nothing much to say but it is disgusting to see mankind throw away d gift of God or do some folks honestly believe that he who made them male and female has no good intentions?He saw the problem with Adam in the garden but instead of another Adam,he made EVE!!!

    • profile image

      sexy roshan 

      9 years ago

      girls r big time hot________________________________________

    • Mortgagestar1 profile image


      9 years ago from Weirton,West Virginia

      Most men are only wishing women have the predisposition. It is the number one fantasy of men to be the center of a menage' a troi. It is in our genetic memory and for the survival of the species. Palientologist and anthropologist claim it is in man's natural makeup. Any man who REALLY have been in relationships with bisexual women will tell you that it is not always worth the complexities. The truth is, men are vain and sharing isn't always in their best interest.

    • profile image


      9 years ago

      A girl that I dated a few times admitted that she had been with another girl. She said it was fun and exciting because it is taboo but she wants to do it again.

    • Scarlett Black profile image

      Scarlett Black 

      9 years ago from New York

      Very well written and spot on. Very funny with the quote from Queer As Folk.

    • Leslie L. Sanders profile image

      Leslie Lee Sanders 

      9 years ago from Queen Creek, Arizona

      Great hub! I'm one of those girls who enjoy men probably too much, that's why I enjoy writing M/M and M/M/F erotica. I'm a fan of QAF and some fan fic so I totally get it.

      Even though, writing about lesbians is a turnoff for me.(I can't get into it and it feels forced so I stick with my men.) Yes, I think somewhere inside there's a little curiousity pulling me here and there. I put myself in my gay male characters shoes and, I admit, it's fun. I write in his POV and it's exciting!

      Although I don't answer to . . . straight, gay or bi? I understand the excitement of homosexually in both forms, gay and lesbian. Great hub!

    • profile image


      9 years ago

      Great hub! :) keep up the fantastic writing

    • Cheeky Girl profile image

      Cassandra Mantis 

      9 years ago from UK and Nerujenia

      Hy. Nice hub! There's a lot of truth in this. I am very impressed. I know that a lot of girls have crushes. I had a cruch for years on Jolene Blalock, the american woman actress. Girls have crushes, even on teachers! Nice hub! I'm a fan!

    • XXBAYXXACEXX profile image


      9 years ago

      LOL, Women are beautiful, Two women is even more beautiful(don't tag me as a pig yet im gettin to a point lol). A man can be pretty, but two men doesn't make the mental image prettier. I often refer to women as flowers. Analogy: One flower is beautiful, a group of flowers is even more beautiful (bouquets) lol. Pretty men are more like sport cars. Just look better by themselves. Two sport cars next to each other just clash of some sort. lol. thanks for the read!

    • profile image


      9 years ago

      I think most men who fantasize about lesbians, have a mental image of young and beautiful lesbians. (Babes to put it vulgarly) I would imagine few men get turned on by older or more masculine looking lesbians. So it's just a fantasy, and they all imagine themselves as another 'James Bond' who, naturally, could 'turn' a lesbian!

    • Bard of Ely profile image

      Steve Andrews 

      10 years ago from Lisbon, Portugal

      I have several lesbian girlfriends on a platonic basis but I wish it wasn't, so as a straight man I have often wished lesbians I know were not like that!

    • Scott Mandrake profile image

      Scott Mandrake 

      10 years ago from Alberta, Canada


      I couldn't go as far to say that just because you kiss someone of the same sex that you are gay. There has to be some grey area there as I'm sure the social norm would not dictate that I am gay if I give my 4 year old male ward, a kiss before bed. I would think that there has to be some intent involved if one is to lose their title as a heterosexual.

      Secondly, I know first hand that two people of the same sex kissing, is many times employed as a non-selfish gesture. Eg. Whether or not a it is a guys idea, suggestion, or otherwise, his girlfriend may kiss or perform sexual acts with another female as a sort of gesture of trust or other non-sugar coated reasons.

      Nothing is plain and simple in actuality, just in perception.


    • drlat profile image


      10 years ago

      First's sick!!!!!!!!!!! When a guy sees 2 lezbos...(yes you're gay if you're a girl that kisses girls...) 2 lezbos kissing, in his mind, he just wants to get with both of them. It's like, he thinks they are only kissing each other to get his attention, so that they could lavish all of their attention on him.

      This is the same if it were 2 "hot guys" kissing and it turned a female on. She may want them both to be all for her!...OR 2 lesbos kissing in front of another lesbo...

      It's a just a selfish thing. Plain and simple.

    • Cris A profile image

      Cris A 

      10 years ago from Manila, Philippines

      i agree that it's more wishful thinking on the men's part! I mean every porn stuff i've seen involved girl to girl action (excuse the term). and why is that?

    • Quantoson profile image


      10 years ago from Montana

      Ditto to what Whitney05 wrote:

      Whitney05 says:14 hours ago

      I agree with you... All females have a little bit of lesbian in them... Plus, men are perverts and they want all women to have a little bit of lesbian in them.

    • Scott Mandrake profile image

      Scott Mandrake 

      10 years ago from Alberta, Canada

      Depends on the men.  I can't say much for my generation of males however.  I'm somewhat out of my peer group.  As for my perspective, as a male, I can admit that I believe, with exceptions of course, that almost all women have an innate attraction to other women.  Its not hard to imagine really.  Men and women have their differences but we are built of the same stuff.  For the most part I feel this applies to male/male attraction as well although social norm has long demonized this practice.

      I figure that female/female attraction slipped under the demonization radar due to the overwhelming perception that women are fickle things and that sort of behavior is expected of them.  Archaic I know but plausible none the less.


    • kerryg profile imageAUTHOR


      10 years ago from USA

      Thanks, Scott! Glad you enjoyed!

      I do think a male perspective on this request would be interesting, though. For example, slash fandom periodically has some extremely interesting discussions about the morality of one historically objectified and marginalized group (women) objectifying another marginalized group (gays). Do men have these sorts of debates?

    • hubber-2009 profile image


      10 years ago from India

      Stem cells are the body’s “master” cells that replicate and differentiate into all other cell types in the body. They are the building blocks of organ tissue, blood and the immune system.

    • Scott Mandrake profile image

      Scott Mandrake 

      10 years ago from Alberta, Canada

      I long pondered answering this request but I find that trying to explain this matter as eloquently as you have would be an exercise in futility.  Good work kerryg, loving your hubs.


    • kerryg profile imageAUTHOR


      10 years ago from USA

      Thanks for reading, Whitney and Blue Lotus!

      "I think the easy answer is they all WISH all girls had a bit of lesbian in em!"

      I nearly wrote that, but I really do believe there's a grain of truth in their wishful thinking. Unfortunately for them, my experience has been that only straight girls feel the need to show off for the titallation of men! Why would the real lesbians and bisexuals bother?

    • blue.lotus profile image


      10 years ago from Cali

      I think the easy answer is they all WISH all girls had a bit of lesbian in em! lol Kudos for writing this edgy article!

      It is a beautiful thing to be a woman. We are truly fantastic, awe inspiring creatures. However, I've got to say I'm damn glad not to be a lesbian because women can be high maintenance, needy and all together crazy bitches! Funny, that's all a part of the beauty.

    • Whitney05 profile image


      10 years ago from Georgia

      I agree with you... All females have a little bit of lesbian in them... Plus, men are perverts and they want all women to have a little bit of lesbian in them.


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