Introversion; How It Feels to Be an Introvert.

Have you ever thought what it means to be an introvert, or ever wondered what orbits inside the mind of a silent person who seems to be deep in solitude? If you are an extrovert, then it may be hard for you to understand, people with this kind of incomprehensible personality.

I used to be an introvert, and one to be certain, I was not that extreme one. Ever observed people who are highly social to those closest to them, be it family members, friends, classmates or workmate s but when it comes to people outside the circle the story changes? They can barely say hi to people who are familiar to them and will often pass by people without saying a word. That was me, a long time ago before I realized something was wrong with me. I would prefer sitting somewhere alone.

Immediately after completing my High School studies, I joined a straight talk club hoping to find a solution to my problem. It never took me long to realize I was actually the problem. The first time I joined a group gets together, things did not go well. It was hard for me to adapt to a new environment with new people and totally strange faces.

Out of thirty-six members, I only managed to make four friends who could be open to me and tell me everything in exchange for me telling them nothing. I did not make them friends, they made me a friend .the many times I walked inside the assembly hall, I always saw folks seated in groups and I could not join them.

Something inside me often drove me to a lone corner where I could sit and get consumed with my phone. It was some kind of internal force that I never came to understand. This was one of the six times I attended the group meetings that happened to me. I realized that every time it happened I always reached a point where I could question myself.

The toughest was like why do all those guys have a bunch of friends around them, how did they come to build such great bonds of friendship where they share ideas, stories, and their happiness. I later dropped out of the club, simply because I felt it was not the right place for me. For a fact, introverts have a problem when it comes to making new friends –therefore when you see one make them a friend.

I came to a point of self-realization about my personality when some kinds of eye-openers happened to me. Sometimes back my family had organized a family reunion kind of thing, days before joining the university. My mum managed to persuade me and I decided to join her in the reunion.

One thing that troubled me was meeting familiar new strange faces- what introverts fear most. My mum stepped into the living room and I followed her hiding in her confidence, shook hands with the family members and sat far somewhere near the door entrance. I found myself getting silent as usual and pinning my eyes down on a stupid phone (I call it stupid because it lied to me making me forget my social slice of life. It took the friendship space off me).

Everyone in the room was busy chatting and sharing stories and ideas while I isolated myself. I reached a point where I could not sit in there. I left the room and sat outside feeling so weary. Something new hit me this time, I started wondering if there was something wrong with me. My mum followed me outside knowing very well that there was something wrong with me. She could tell and even asked why I feared to interact with new people. Her question did hit me hard.

I promised myself that I will get in there and join them in the talk. There I was, walked into the room and made another mistake. The same thing inside me made me ignore an uncle of mine who had just arrived and was seated right just after the entrance. That guy confronted me and asked why I passed by, I even read the displease in his face. Shame followed me, but this time I swallowed it and gave a lame excuse.

That night I could not sleep. Something was wrong with me and was piling up to heavier weights that my heart could carry. It was my personality that dragged me into stress. I made a choice of correcting the mess. The first thing I decided to work on was to greet people and asking people if I could join them in their groups. To me, it was a step towards making friends. Trust me, this worked for me and lifted me from a well of selfless.

Introverts become who they are and develop their behavior right from the beginning when they are still children between the ages two and five. This is the stage when kids get curious and adventurous, they will want to know what tastes what and what feels what.

Kids who end up introverts experience pressure from their parents at this stage. Helicopter parents are much of protective and paranoid to their kids, they will shut down the curiosity and adventure of a kid because they want the kid to be sort of calm and serene.

Parents of this kind will often tell the kids not to greet strangers, and shield them from making ‘bad friends’. The end result is that something grows inside them. Something that tailors them into keeping everything to themselves, making them focus on their feelings and affairs. This builds up into a personality of introversion.

Being an introvert is not an easy state of being. Some struggle with speech, in a manner, that they have ideas in their mind but cannot put them out clearly in words, because of fear and lack of quality interaction with people. Making friends is a problem, where some do not know how to start talking to someone and make them friends. I had a friend who told me that she struggled with self-esteem because her head made her think no one wanted to make a friend of her. Introverts will have problems and share to no one, they will keep them in their hearts and pile them up till they burst.

It is hard to understand introverts but there are ways to understand them and make thermalize who they are. Someone needs to be a mirror for them to see themselves and get a reflection of who they are, help them correct their flaws and build a happy self.