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Is my boyfriend using me?
All relationships entail a measure of give and take. Some people are givers while others are takers and it's ok if one of you gives more than the other. It becomes problematic when you start asking yourself questions like: Does he love me or is my boyfriend just using me? and Would we be together at all, if I didn't give him what he wants?
In this article we will look at how men use their girlfriends, how you can test whether he is just using you and what to do if he is using you.
Determining whether he is a user
What I suggest you do is to take an arbitrary time period, say 3 months. Take a piece of paper draw a line down the middle. On the left side write thing you did for him, on the right side things he did for you. Ad a column for times when he called you and one for when you called him. Examples would be: dates/meetings, gifts, favors and so on.
Relationships are an emotional subject. Putting pen to paper makes it more real and quantifiable.
Never show him the paper; this is just to help you wrap your mind around what he brings to your relationship.
Is my boyfriend using me for sex?
It should be reasonable easy to tell if this is the case. If he is only interested in the sex and not in any other part of your life, it's not going anywhere. Get him more involved or end it.
Is my boyfriend using me for money?
It's harder to tell if this is your problem. If he is making less money than you are, he could be very sensitive about the topic. If you are buying him large gifts and he is buying you smaller ones, perhaps he just can't afford it. Stop buying him things and paying for him and see how the relationship changes.
Signs that he loves you
- He tells you he loves you - no brainer - If he hasn't, ask him: "do you love me?"
- He respects you - Does he treat you, your friends and your family with respect? Does he sometimes do what you want, even though he doesn't like it? Does he treat women well, in general?
- He trusts you - A man that doesn't trust you can't trust himself and is more likely looking to poses you. True love isn't possessive.
- He wants to spend time with you and do things. When you go out he only has eyes for you.
- He asks whether you would like to make your relationship exclusive.
Are you his Mrs. right or his Mrs. right now?
Some guys don't like to be alone. So they will keep someone around to fill their needs, with no intention of staying with them in the long run. The sign of this are pretty clear as he will be on the lookout for someone new and will avoid committing to you, fully.
The only thing to do in a case like this is to end it, it's not going anywhere.
If it becomes clear that he is only using you and he isn't going to change, dump him. There are plenty of fish in the sea and you deserve someone who loves you.