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Is your partner too possessive?

Updated on March 8, 2011

Stuck with a helicopter?

'Over Possessiveness' is a behavior which bugs a hell out of a lot of people. Be it your boyfriend who sulks when you talk to other guys, the wife who eyes all your female colleagues with suspicion or even the 'best friend' in school who doesn't want anyone else to get that title. And it's very, very stressful to be at the other end of someone's possessive nature.

'If you love them, set them free.'

Yeah, right. What about those for whom love means hovering over their partner?

Need space?
Need space?

I need some space!

Is your partner too possessive?

I remember how my friends and I used to be envious of a girl whose boyfriend was always found waiting outside the office at 6 pm sharp when the day ended. 'How caring,' everyone would remark. Till one day she burst out cribbing about how it was his way of ensuring that she doesn't get any time to hang out with anyone else after work, and how she longed to have some much needed space.

Overcoming Jealousy and Possessiveness

This book points out many things to help one get over or get a basic understanding of jealousy and possessiveness, how to deal with it, recognize it, and tools for understanding how to get over it. GREAT READ and GREAT REFERENCE!

Control freak is not human
Control freak is not human

Control freak is not human

Is your partner too possessive?

Understand that it's okay - and perfectly human- to feel a little jealous, on occasions. It's when your friend or partner goes overboard and tries to control your life by having an opinion on everyone you see or talk to, that it becomes a problem. Unless you are doing something that you yourself feel guilty about, don't let anyone else put you on a perpetual guilt trip.

Jealousy - The Sin No One Talks about

Jealousy is a form of selfishness, as it is the human sin nature to be selfish and want the best of everything for yourself and not anyone else. Kendall highlights many biblical accounts which reveals jealousy to be a common issue throughout the Bible. It has been a problem since the beginning of time. Kendall also outlines the different levels of jealousy. Feeling jealous is not as much the issue as allowing it to grow and manifest itself to hurt others. We must learn to be honest with ourselves and God and admit our human faults before Him so that He can heal us. This book will encourage those hurt from jealousy and help those with jealousy recognize the signs and put it in check.

Possessiveness is not love - Is your partner too possessive?

Possessiveness is not love
Possessiveness is not love

Don't make the mistake of confusing possessiveness with love. The former stems from a deep-rooted insecurity and usually such people defend their behaviour by saying it shows they care too much about you. The over possessive boyfriend of my colleague always used to tell her that she's her only friend, so it's only fair that she reciprocates by having him as his 'best and only friend' in life.

You say height of love? I say height of manipulation. Don't let anyone guilt you into making a relationship your entire life. Talk to your partner and explain gently that just as it's okay for them to be feeling jealous sometimes, it's okay for you to be wanting to be on your own sometimes, without them calling up every hour to track all your movements

Life Without Jealousy: A Practical Guide (10-Step Empowerment Series

Ask yourself...

- Do you feel the need to be frequently checking up on your partner?

- Are you suspicious when you meet new people?

- Do you often question your partner about where they are going and who they are seeing?

- Do you withdraw from your partner without giving an explanation as to why you doing this?

- Do you make all of the social arrangements for your partner's life?

- Have you ever feigned illness to keep your partner at home?

- Are you frightened of being unable to survive without your partner?

- Do you examine on your partner's phone records, emails, or text messages "just in case"?

- Do you put your partner down over small details or infractions of agreements?

If you answered YES to more than one of these questions, then this book is for you.

This is the book to help you overcome this unwanted emotion. You will embark on a journey to discover the many types of jealousy. You can use this book as a manual to overcome emotional insecurity issues and to give you a clearer perspective on the emotion of jealousy. By engaging with the exercises with this book, you'll be able to see yourself as you really are and further exercises will assist you in eliminating your jealous thoughts and behavior.

Insecure, under-confidant partner
Insecure, under-confidant partner

What can you do...

Is your partner too possessive?

If the relationship matters to you, and you want to sustain it, introspect and see if you are not at fault by not giving it enough attention, leading to your partner feel unduly possessive. Men and women have different needs for an assurance that they are loved. It could be remembering special dates and giving personalised gifts for the women and constant reassurance and ego-boosting compliments for the men. Whatever it is, find out what your partner needs to not feel over-possessive and insecure.

Overcome those feelings of possessiveness with hypnosis

This audio hypnosis CD can be listened to at your computer, at bed-time or in your spare time for immediate benefits.

The CD was produced by an expert team including hypnotherapist Faith Waude, who has been helping thousands of clients since 1994 using hypnosis, and has trained upcoming hypnotherapists around the world, and Stephen Armstrong, who records Hypnotic World CDs to the highest quality.

Time to move on...
Time to move on...

Time to move on...

Is your partner too possessive?

Finally, look out for telltale signs of extreme and unhealthy possessiveness - verbal or physical abuse, mental torture, endless sulking. You don't have to wait till you bump into a detective on your trail to realise that things are out of hand. Be prepared to make the decision of calling the whole thing off if it gets too much.

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      anonymous 5 years ago

      I'm to envyos D':