Can You Date Him If You've Already 'Friended' Him?

So, you've been dating for a while, maybe you are even dating a few guys right now, but you just can't "catch him" yet.

Could the trouble be here that you are fishing in the wrong waters?

Or, more likely, do you have a male friend that has been there for you through the years of upset and heartbreak that you've felt by dating the wrong guys (and breaking up with these guys) up to now?

Do you really understand the qualifications you have in your head that a guy needs to meet to be "the one"?

I am going to ask you to write a couple of lists, so we can get to the BIG answer, ok?

Let's pass on the usual none-meaning descriptions of a great guy because we are going to assume that your "ideal man" must have these particular qualifications anyways:

- good looking

- funny

- steady employment.

And let's get right to the picture you have in your mind of that "great guy" you want to meet and share your life with.

Take a moment and write down the

(1) personality type (quiet, humorous, sedate, lively, etc.),

(2) the physical attributes (thin, strong, tall, broad shouldered, blonde hair, blue eyes, etc.) and

(3) list the activities that you'd like to do together (outdoors, camping, travel, restaurants, visit family, indoors, reading, movies, etc.).

Keep writing this list until you can't write anymore.

Take your time.

And again I want you to make another list.

This list will be of all the male friends you currently have and the guys that you haven't spoken to for a while (maybe a couple/few years) and beside his name write down the one singular thing you liked about this guy friend.

Now, go back to your first list and cross off everything except the two most important attributes your ideal man will have as a

(1) personality type,

(2) physical attributes and

(3) activities you'd do together.

You are left with an interesting combinations of qualities on these two different lists, right?

And for the final answer, I think you have some thinking to do about your "ideal man" and the guys that are in your life right now.

And it just might be the time to make a phone call or send an email to one particular guy.

So get to it!