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The Ring: Is Its Value Tied To The Depth Of His Love?

Updated on July 23, 2011

Stone In Love...

After dating for over two years Paul proposed to Linda.

Naturally she was overcome with joy and excitement.

It was Paul’s second marriage and Linda’s first.

The next couple of months they spent shopping for her ring.

Eventually they selected a beautiful ring for $3500, which Linda loved.

A few months passed by during the course of a conversation out of curiosity Linda asked Paul where he bought his first wife’s ring and how much it cost.

Without thinking he mentioned the place and it’s $8500 price tag.

Linda has been quietly upset ever since that day.

Intellectually she knows you can’t or shouldn’t “put a price on love” and yet knowing her ring costs $5000 less than the one he gave his first wife was eating at her everyday.

In fact she has stopped polishing her ring daily and sometimes even “forgets” to put it on.

For all she knows maybe the first time around Paul bought a ring he really couldn’t afford or he has become more financially savvy and now prefers to invest his money wisely or spend it traveling.

Would it bother you if you learned your mate spent more money on their ex? Took them to more places? Or they were willing to do various things in the bedroom with them but has no interest in doing those things with you?

Bottom line:

Is it fair to compare your mate's past relationship to the current relationship he/she has with you?

Should Linda tell Paul it bothers her knowing her ring costs significantly less than the one he gave his first wife?


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    • dashingscorpio profile image

      dashingscorpio 6 years ago

      Ann Marie Dwyer, You are so right! Thanks again for your comment!

    • Ann Marie Dwyer profile image

      Ann Marie Dwyer 6 years ago from South Carolina, USA

      Nothing corny about that, Scorpio. I have heard more than once, to see my eyes light up every time he enters the room is more than he could have ever hoped for because it means I love him. It is how I feel about the kiss on the forehead before I awaken. Those are the memory moments...not the ones I can flash before my friends. Red.

    • dashingscorpio profile image

      dashingscorpio 6 years ago

      Ann Marie Dwyer , Thanks so much for your comment.

      It’s refreshing to see there are still people out there who are able to “live in the moment” without the need or desire to find out how they (stack up against their mate’s exes). At some point it becomes impossible to “one up” every activity one has done with someone in their past in order to make their current mate feel just as special or even more so! If you went to Paris with your ex then we have to go to Bora Bora or wherever…etc Every love is different, finances change, desires change, and priorities change. Being given money and things are not “proof” that one is in love with us. As corny as it may sound it’s the free things like how your mate looks into your eyes, holds you in their arms, kisses you, and communicates with you throughout the day that builds a stronger connection. Thanks for stopping by to read my hub and post your comment!

    • Ann Marie Dwyer profile image

      Ann Marie Dwyer 6 years ago from South Carolina, USA

      My mindset is quite different than most. I am content with the continual signs of email in the middle of the day just to say, "I am thinking about you and wishing we were together"; a greeting card tucked into my book; a flower plucked from the yard on my keyboard.

      I haven't the material drive to consider the price of a gift, when the intent is the same despite the tag. In that vein, my mate's past gift-giving is irrelevant, as I am secure in his love for me regardless of how his love manifested for another before my tenure. Red.

    • Woman Of Courage profile image

      Woman Of Courage 7 years ago

      Ok, looking at the whole picture, I will be happy as long as I feel valued and loved. That's more important to me than a lot of material things anyway. I still would desire nice gifts sometimes.

    • dashingscorpio profile image

      dashingscorpio 7 years ago

      Woman of courage, thanks for your comment.

      I think if you are treated worse than an ex then it is a cause for concern. However I think sometimes you have to take into account the maturity level and wisdom a person gains over time may lead to a change in values. I've heard that parents often take more photos, bronzed baby shoes, and also do more activties with their first born baby then they do with the next baby. However I would doubt they love the 2nd baby any less than the first baby.

      Sometimes we've done things in the past we now deem a mistake which provided us with a "life lesson". ha ha ha

    • Woman Of Courage profile image

      Woman Of Courage 7 years ago

      This is a very interesting article. Linda should tell Paul how this makes her feel. I believe it is fair to compare your mate's past relationship only if he is not treating his new wife in the way that he should. It is only natural for a woman to feel pain if she found out the other woman recieved better treatment.