ArtsAutosBooksBusinessEducationEntertainmentFamilyFashionFoodGamesGenderHealthHolidaysHomeHubPagesPersonal FinancePetsPoliticsReligionSportsTechnologyTravel

Unsettled Yet At Peace - A Way To happy Life

Updated on January 14, 2020
Ekta Pahujani profile image

A Karma believer. Scorpion, Loves Traveling, Loves to express good or bad. Not a Rebel without a cause.

A Morning To Remember

She woke up with swollen eyes. Last night and every night before she cried herself to sleep. She was in the worst phase of life. It was her first love and first break up. She could see her dreams of walking down the aisle with her childhood love shattering. Lots of friends in the contact list to console her but no one could soothe her even a little. She didn't want to rise and shine. Nothing could make her feel better.

And then ping from a colleague, careless in terms of emotions, playful, doesn't give a damn attitude. He wanted his few work cleanups to be handled.

Unknown of the feels, she stopped crying and replied. But how could it be possible as she did not even reply to her mother's text? He was just a colleague or maybe a team member like others whom she didn't want to connect. He was no one special. He was not so close. She could have just ignored or vented out but he was not a person of the ear so she ignored and completed the work.

Little she knew that it is going to be a morning to remember as it was the first step towards UnsettledYetAtPeace.

A Day To Remember

Meeting someone daily for 3 years and suddenly a day seems to be so special.

He didn't do anything to make her smile or didn't share the pain she was going through. He was discussing his make outs and his Xs. (Remember I told you playful guy.)

It was the day she laughed at stupid jokes. Her laugh was as innocent as baby's first cheer. She laughed her heart out after two months, after several trials from several people.

He was the only one who didn't console her for pain,

did not hug her to let it pass,

he never said it is a phase,

he never gave a shoulder to cry,

he did not hold her hand and ask her to stay strong

yet he was the most peaceful place for her.

A day with him brought her smiles. He didn't say she deserved better but showed her how better a world could be for anyone.

Again damn Why was she smiling? He did not give any hints. She was not in love with the playful guy. Come on, he is not a person for a serious thing. But then he was on time to pick her, though being a Hollywood buff he played a song from typical Bollywood movie which he hated, dropped her to 60km distance and all this with no special feelings. Yes, no strings attached. He did not even think that he was doing such things.

He was

rude yet affectionate,

arrogant yet caring,

playful yet respectful,

mean yet thoughtful.

Just a second let me think, hmmmmmm, was this all beautiful because she was in rebound? No, she wasn't. She was deeply in love with the guy she couldn't marry. She never wanted a rebound or new start or whatever.

She just took one day at a time. A day that healed her a little.

Again little was She aware that this was her second step to unsettledYetAtPeace.

She was not thinking of the future but that past with his presence made her present beautiful.

A Week To Remember

As a reader I would have started to think that it must be mere infatuation but sorry for disappointments they were #justFriends

No Strings attached. But definitely, it was a special week and worth to remember. Waking up with someone in the same bed is a special feeling but waking up with someone who isn't your partner could be dramatic and for all week, uff feels coming straight from daily soaps.

They were not friends from decade still he was her's a safe place with peace. She felt safe and comfortable with him at 8 PM or 3 AM. She could be her with him.

It was her first time away from her eternal love, even the first time she might have woke up with someone else in the same bed. And she was smiling? How was she laughing? Was it wrong? What was actually happening How did not she cried last night before sleep, Did she move on? Is it so easy to move one?

To be honest she just realized she was not sad over thing she thought she will never get over and trust be this realization was very peaceful.

She did not smile because she was enjoying she smiled because she was at peace. A peace she was craving for. A peace which doesn't involve discussions to heal or move on. It was like a new world to her. She never experienced it before. They talked for hours. They had seen each other 3 AM version. The purest version.

Though It was all general stuff. But how come she felt it different? The playful arrogant guy who doesn't give a damn about anything was good to her. He touched her soul for the first time , when he said that they were friends. Her heart skipped a beat.

She was not insecure of there friendship, nor did she plan anything. Moreover, she was not afraid to be close to him through her last fall was worst. She was in love. Yes, she was in love with the new version of herself. After months of crying she was living. She was loving herself and her life,

She loved herself but these two souls, Yes they were now friends. Remember guys justFriends.

A Month to Remember

A perfect month about which she is going to tell stories to her kids. She was still healing but the time spent with him was the time she craved for. Maybe that could be the reason she felt good about herself but I kept on asking her, does he do something special? He doesn't talk romance, he doesn't feel anything, he doesn't even try or may he is not even interested, he was usually rude and mean to her but then what is it? Moving ahead a little, She still smiles when his names pop up.

TBH, he never even messaged her, he only replied to her. Yet she was ok, yet she kept on praising him and grooving over him. OMG, it's too much to digest but then being an author I have to write undigestible too.

It's because of human tendency, We always accept the love we think we deserve. We keep on lowering the expectations based on the love we get.

And so when he made her realize that she deserves a little more, she deserves self-love, she was scared that how can She be so loved but unknown of the consequences he made her fall for herself. Yes, she started loving herself.

In general, everyone has their process, she was struggling to find one. She got help in the most unexpected way. Even help did not know about it. :p.

Her process was non-traditional yet effective. And so she answered my question "that moments with him are worth to remember because he gifted her a process." This could be one of the most selfless, pure and needed gifts for life.

The girl with negative thoughts started dreaming of a beautiful future. His aura changed her and trust me this change was for best.


A Stranger To Remember.

I still think a few times, what were they, as I said was it love or was it, love. :P

If it was love there should be expectations but there were none.

So were they soulmates?

If they were soulmates then they both should be there in all ups and downs and discussing life.

Were they friends?

If they were friends, it should be both ways as there is no one-sided friendship like one-sided love.

Their relationship is tough to be named but as the main character is our hero,

I say He was her guardian angel. An angel not for whole life but the worst phase.

When the world was falling apart for her, he was the one to ask beer or LIIT?

When she was crying and needed a shoulder, he was the one playing rock music.

When she felt low at 3 AM, he was driving a car at 20KM/hr and discussing his X.

When she cried like a baby in chilling winter he didn't ask her to stop instead told her to cry inside in warm place.

When she wanted good feels, he was rude and mean.

And finally, when she started to live, smile, laugh, enjoy, he bid her Good Bye.


He did everything in opposite to general healing process. Yet it was the best process. and let me tell you she still smiles when his name pops ups. They might not be in the same setup but as I already said she will tell stories about him to her kids.

Dear Readers,

What I think is, it's not always about saying "I am here" or having someone to vent out, Discuss, Express, hearing "Its a phase", "let it go", "don't give a fuck" etc.

Sometimes its about gestures. Instead of cribbing with her or abusing with her, he showed her whats the world beyond it.

He made her realize that her smiles are not dependent on someone else's smiles. Her laughs are not be entitled to someone else's name. He made her realized meeting new people and making new friends is not that tough. It's ok not to have beautiful Bollywood endings. It's ok to have breakups, it's ok to fail in an interview, it's ok even to get cheated, it's ok if no one cares, its ok to be alone, it's ok to sleep for 14 hours or no hour. it's ok to let people go.

What is not ok is to have Regrets. #NoRegrets.

But all these, he never spoke, it was all gestures, which he even himself is not aware.

He made her realize that her soul is free and above all, She is a good soul and she is a young independent smart woman.

And therefore she lived happily ever after. He will always hold a special place in her heart and a special chapter in her life with heading -

A playful guy :P with a most beautiful soul, Rude yet beautiful at heart.

From #StrangerToRemeber to #ASoulToRemember.

And finally, she might be Unsettled, but she was at peace.

Lastly Just a disclaimer --> they are #justFriends. :P



This content is accurate and true to the best of the author’s knowledge and is not meant to substitute for formal and individualized advice from a qualified professional.

© 2020 Ekta Pahujani

Comments

    0 of 8192 characters used
    Post Comment
    • profile image

      Harish 

      5 weeks ago

      It's OK to take a break, a moment for yourself to rediscovering your own power. A great message !!

    • profile image

      Shilpa 

      2 months ago

      Wow Girl.. This is beautiful !!

    • profile image

      Himanshu Gulati 

      2 months ago

      The simplicity in your words touches the strings of the heart quite gently. Really the feelings have been expressed using adorable words! Too good

    • profile image

      Kritika 

      2 months ago

      Self love so well said in your blog. Loved it

    • profile image

      Surabhi 

      2 months ago

      Very intriguing indeed.. Loved every bit..

    • profile image

      priyali Bathla 

      2 months ago

      Amazinggg

    • profile image

      Ritu 

      2 months ago

      Lovely♥️

    • profile image

      2 months ago

      Its really interesting & touching ... just Loved it ❤️❤️....

    • profile image

      Neha 

      2 months ago

      Heartwarming and liberating...loved the content !

    • profile image

      Gurpreet 

      2 months ago

      Woww! Great Share!

      Extremely interesting and lots of learning in this.

    • profile image

      Pranav 

      2 months ago

      OMG girl!!!!! You can seriously write

    • profile image

      Pooja 

      2 months ago

      ❤️I was smiling while reading this

    • profile image

      Vibhu 

      2 months ago

      Loved it

    working

    This website uses cookies

    As a user in the EEA, your approval is needed on a few things. To provide a better website experience, hubpages.com uses cookies (and other similar technologies) and may collect, process, and share personal data. Please choose which areas of our service you consent to our doing so.

    For more information on managing or withdrawing consents and how we handle data, visit our Privacy Policy at: https://maven.io/company/pages/privacy

    Show Details
    Necessary
    HubPages Device IDThis is used to identify particular browsers or devices when the access the service, and is used for security reasons.
    LoginThis is necessary to sign in to the HubPages Service.
    Google RecaptchaThis is used to prevent bots and spam. (Privacy Policy)
    AkismetThis is used to detect comment spam. (Privacy Policy)
    HubPages Google AnalyticsThis is used to provide data on traffic to our website, all personally identifyable data is anonymized. (Privacy Policy)
    HubPages Traffic PixelThis is used to collect data on traffic to articles and other pages on our site. Unless you are signed in to a HubPages account, all personally identifiable information is anonymized.
    Amazon Web ServicesThis is a cloud services platform that we used to host our service. (Privacy Policy)
    CloudflareThis is a cloud CDN service that we use to efficiently deliver files required for our service to operate such as javascript, cascading style sheets, images, and videos. (Privacy Policy)
    Google Hosted LibrariesJavascript software libraries such as jQuery are loaded at endpoints on the googleapis.com or gstatic.com domains, for performance and efficiency reasons. (Privacy Policy)
    Features
    Google Custom SearchThis is feature allows you to search the site. (Privacy Policy)
    Google MapsSome articles have Google Maps embedded in them. (Privacy Policy)
    Google ChartsThis is used to display charts and graphs on articles and the author center. (Privacy Policy)
    Google AdSense Host APIThis service allows you to sign up for or associate a Google AdSense account with HubPages, so that you can earn money from ads on your articles. No data is shared unless you engage with this feature. (Privacy Policy)
    Google YouTubeSome articles have YouTube videos embedded in them. (Privacy Policy)
    VimeoSome articles have Vimeo videos embedded in them. (Privacy Policy)
    PaypalThis is used for a registered author who enrolls in the HubPages Earnings program and requests to be paid via PayPal. No data is shared with Paypal unless you engage with this feature. (Privacy Policy)
    Facebook LoginYou can use this to streamline signing up for, or signing in to your Hubpages account. No data is shared with Facebook unless you engage with this feature. (Privacy Policy)
    MavenThis supports the Maven widget and search functionality. (Privacy Policy)
    Marketing
    Google AdSenseThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    Google DoubleClickGoogle provides ad serving technology and runs an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    Index ExchangeThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    SovrnThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    Facebook AdsThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    Amazon Unified Ad MarketplaceThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    AppNexusThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    OpenxThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    Rubicon ProjectThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    TripleLiftThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    Say MediaWe partner with Say Media to deliver ad campaigns on our sites. (Privacy Policy)
    Remarketing PixelsWe may use remarketing pixels from advertising networks such as Google AdWords, Bing Ads, and Facebook in order to advertise the HubPages Service to people that have visited our sites.
    Conversion Tracking PixelsWe may use conversion tracking pixels from advertising networks such as Google AdWords, Bing Ads, and Facebook in order to identify when an advertisement has successfully resulted in the desired action, such as signing up for the HubPages Service or publishing an article on the HubPages Service.
    Statistics
    Author Google AnalyticsThis is used to provide traffic data and reports to the authors of articles on the HubPages Service. (Privacy Policy)
    ComscoreComScore is a media measurement and analytics company providing marketing data and analytics to enterprises, media and advertising agencies, and publishers. Non-consent will result in ComScore only processing obfuscated personal data. (Privacy Policy)
    Amazon Tracking PixelSome articles display amazon products as part of the Amazon Affiliate program, this pixel provides traffic statistics for those products (Privacy Policy)
    ClickscoThis is a data management platform studying reader behavior (Privacy Policy)