- Gender and Relationships
The word ‘Marriage’ is a fantasy for young girls. Just the thought of a life partner gives them warmth, physical and mental security. In their imaginations, they fly in the sky having no boundaries. For them marriage is a world where, there are no prohibitions and they can prove their worth. Every girl want to be ‘wanted’ and loved by someone special. In most of the middle class Indian societies, where although the girls are given the opportunities to get higher education, but their thoughts are governed by their fathers and elder brothers. They live in the modern society, behave as if they are a part of it but they live two lives together. The fact is that they never live’ their life’. So, all their hopes rely on their marriage. Finally the marriage happens……….an educated girl gets an educated life partner. But what after that……….
The reality is altogether different. This second inning of the girl’s life is ruled by their husbands. Why the boys who used to behave so decently earlier, step into their father’s shoes after marriage. They always try to prove that they are ‘the best’. What they do for their families is not their responsibility but a favor for them. They behave as if they are the rulers. Whatever the wife does is taken for guaranteed but whatever they do is courtesy which should always be appreciated. Husbands always expect that their parents must be privileged, their brothers and sisters always taken care of, their children must be nurtured well, their wives should be superb in cooking and in bed, their houses should be well managed. Even if the wife is also working, she is not let to compromise with her domestic duties. But how many of them think the same for their wives. In most of the families, wives can not dare to take the pride of their jobs even. It hurts their husband’s ego. When husband comes home, he expects king size welcome. His efforts done for the family are hard earned. What ever he says should be obeyed as an order and if not done, their ego hurts. It leads to conflict in the husband-wife relationship and wife has to pay for it in any form. Some husbands always try to find out the reasons to let their wives down. May be that it satisfy their egos.
Wives, who leave for their jobs after finishing their house hold chores, restart them after coming back from their work place. They look after the study of their children, pack their lunch boxes in the morning, keep their school dresses ready by night. To meet all this, they get up early in the morning and remain busy till late night. This is the story of every second middle class family. To a large extent male ego is the culprit behind broken marriages and some times wife’s attempt to commit suicides. Many wives do compromise with their lives. They tolerate every thing for the sake of the future of their children, thinking that any wrong step taken by them may affect their children’s future, especially in the Indian societies.
But how many of the husbands appreciate this. They should understand that the wives are the pillar of their houses. If, suppose the pillar is displaced, what will happen to their dream houses. Ego is good if it is for the protection of the family, for the self esteem of the wife. It will generate respect for the husbands in their wives minds. A woman is a very soft hearted, love filled creation of the God. Give her a bit of love and respect, she will shower all her life, her dreams on her husband.