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Keeping In Touch With Your Ex

Updated on May 2, 2012

It can be a good thing.

Many people will likely tell you that you should only keep in touch with your ex only if you share children - and to keep interactions/conversations to a minimum. Of course, everyone has their own reasons for believing this.

In some situations this may be a good idea - depending upon the characteristics of the person you dated - but, in other situations, I think it's pure nonsense.

After all, dating is about getting to know a person and, if you learn that you are not compatible, it should not prevent you from remaining friends.

Let's explore this issue further, shall we?

Photo credit: Joe Orman

What's Your Opinion?

Is it a good idea to keep in touch with your ex?

It certainly is!

It certainly is!

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    • maryLuu 4 years ago

      It depends a lot of the reasons why he became an ex. But if you are mature enough you can still be friends.

    • anonymous 5 years ago

      My ex and I are still good friends, and see each other every year at the holiday season with the grand kids. I buy her a nice Christmas present too. We may have grown apart, but we still share many memories.

    • siserou 5 years ago

      The thing is something drew you to that person in the first place and if that person is fun to be with and enjoys the same things, why not keep a friend?

    • anonymous 6 years ago

      If she's stupid, she will keep in touch. If she says her ex treated her like crap but suddenly wants to hang out...sounds like a fool. Maybe the two low lifes deserve each other. In that case, it's a good idea because she's telling you (the person she's dating and supposedly in love with) that she's done growing and would like to settle with someone who makes her feel accomplished. A low life. Take the hint and move on for what's waiting that's better for you.

    • cbessa 6 years ago

      It depends on context and person. I have ex-girlfriends that i keep touch in a good manner, some more, some less, and there are a few that i don't want too see anymore.

    • Sandy Mertens 7 years ago from Frozen Tundra

      It all depends. If you have children, yes! Some people are actually better friends after the divorce.

    • Brookelorren LM 7 years ago

      I don't see why not. Why reduce your pool of friends? It's not like you have to be best buds or anything.

    • Barbara Radisavljevic 7 years ago from Templeton, CA

      I am still in touch with the first person I dated for three years when I was in high school and early college. Both of us married other people and the directions our lives have taken show that it was probably a good thing we never married because we both have changed and gone in very different directions. But each of us also made a positive contribution to each other's lives back then, and he performed the service when my mother died in 2005. We were good friends before we dated, and we have remained friends since them.

    Only if you share children.

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      • anonymous 4 years ago

        If you're still in love with your ex, it's not a good idea.

      • anonymous 4 years ago

        The only reason (apart from sharing children) men decide to keep a women as a friend is:

        1. She's a potential sex partner when going through a dry spell.

        2. She has friends that are potential sexual partners and keeping her as a friend helps.

        I know it's not what women want to hear but it's the truth.

      • bigjoe2121 7 years ago

        hmmm, depends on the character of this ex

      Take a deep breath!

      Don't let your blood pressure rise

      too high from a comment

      you're about to read

      and, possibly,

      comment on!

      Peace of Mind

      Perhaps you are afraid of what others may think if they see you hanging around with your ex. Perhaps you are not ready to hang out with your ex but would like simple conversation, from time to time.

      There are ways to keep in touch with your ex without having the world as your judge, jury and executioner - without jeopardizing your life and lifestyle - and it's easier than ever if you keep in touch on-line. There are various on-line chat rooms you can meet up in; however, personally, I would prefer to touch base through Instant Messenger, e-mail or the occasional phone call.

      I can't help but think it's unfair that wonderful people should be written out of our lives just because we had the misfortune of dating them in the past. It seems immoral for others to draw their own conclusions without taking time to learn the facts first.

      Then Again...

      Sometimes people just love to cause trouble for others. Their lives are so miserable, in one way or another, that they can't support people whose lives seem to be going well and will try their best to bring people down. It's still based on insecurity, which can easily lead to jealousy.

      Do you think that people who make up rumors about others do so because their own lives are boring?

      Yes, they have nothing better to do with their time!

      Yes, they have nothing better to do with their time!

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        • maryLuu 4 years ago

          They are full of envy.

        • Barbara Radisavljevic 7 years ago from Templeton, CA

          A person who is occupied with constructive activities doesn't have time to gossip -- except during breaks. But I'd say that people who start rumors do have something lacking in their own lives -- or characters -- that makes them want to create excitement by stirring up others against each other and then watching the ensuing conflict. I simply don't understand people like that.

        No, they are just out to destroy others!

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          No comments yet.

          Be informed.

          Regardless of my stand on this issue,

          I would like to point out that I would

          not keep in touch with an ex if I

          thought there was any chance it would

          destroy my current relationship.

          I would love to hear your comments about this lens. Also, if you would like to add anything not covered here, please feel free to do so.

          The Ex Guestbook - No, the guestbook is not going anywhere.

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            • profile image

              liamsquidoo 4 years ago

              Great lens, enjoyed reading it. Keep up squidooing :)

            • maryLuu profile image

              maryLuu 4 years ago

              Very nice lens. Sometimes two people can make better friends that they were as spouses.

            • profile image

              NassauDIvorceLawyer 5 years ago

              Hey great lens. keep in touch with your ex is a good topic.

            • SandyMertens profile image

              Sandy Mertens 7 years ago from Frozen Tundra

              Congratulations on your Purple Star!

            • BarbRad profile image

              Barbara Radisavljevic 7 years ago from Templeton, CA

              You've chosen an interesting subject which is bound to get people talking.