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How to Keep Your Man “into You” Year After Year…after Year!

Updated on August 13, 2019
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Juliet is a professional higher education counselor and academic adviser, an entrepreneur and a mother and wife.

Summary

Any woman can tap into those innermost parts of her man's ego that will keep him connected and faithful. It's the simplest things that can help your relationship stand the test of time.

A woman who has not been burnt in the love game is indeed a rare find. You’re dating a guy, think you have it under control and suddenly, for some reason, it starts to fizzle or strangely after a few years of marital bliss, your husband starts to be really distant or even worse, you make the devastating discovery that he is cheating on you.

The common chant is …”Why, after all I’ve done for that man, if it weren’t for me he would be nothing. I gave him clothes and helped him buy that car and that expensive phone, not to mention that I’m cute!” Hmmm…so what could possibly be wrong?”

This brings me to the next interesting point. It is difficult to understand why your man would ditch you for a woman who is not all that attractive to look at.

I mean after all if you’re the eye candy and you’ve done so much for him, what reason does he have to even look else where.

This is the first in an article series that aims to answer those questions, and you may be very surprised about the very simple steps you can take today to keep that man panting for you even after many moons have passed.

  1. Show Him You Need Him But…Don’t Be Needy

An amazing thing happens when a man feels needed in a relationship. He is empowered! When a man does not feel needed in a relationship, he loses his motivation. If he feels you trust him to do his best to supply what you need, and if you encourage and praise his efforts, he will do whatever it takes, because he knows you trust him to come through for you.

In Real World Terms:

Stop acting like you don’t need a man. Stop saying you don’t need a man. Just because you have a career and you are able to financially take care of yourself and probably even him too, doesn’t mean you have to throw it in his face, and give the impression that you have it all together. That intimidates and man and tells him that his manhood is going to be seriously threatened by his involvement with you.

A man is very motivated by the thought that he can possibly make a difference in your life, even in small ways. A man’s life becomes meaningless when there isn’t someone there to demonstrate his strength (not just physical) and his competence to. He feels emasculated in a relationship where he cannot serve the woman in his life.

Successful Relationships take Consciuos Effort

Our Problem

A big part of the problem for us as women is that we need to learn how to graciously accept help when it is offered to us. We are afraid of the possibility of rejection that may come with needing too much. Sometimes quite often because of the way we were raised, we do not feel that we are worthy of anyone’s love and support so we play devils advocate and push away the very thing we need to thrive in our relationship…support.

We think it’s a sign of weakness, and assume that we won’t get the support we need and do we ever show it! When we don’t show a man we trust him to give us what we need, we are reinforcing a subconscious fear that he may not be good enough. Even the most macho man is afraid of failure, correction, or disapproval.

We make the mistake of thinking that it’s our having needs that has turned him off, but I’m here to tell you. That’s not what it is. It’s not allowing him to be that hero that he wants to be for you. Think there’s a difference between needing and neediness? There most certainly is. Acting needy is showing insecurity as if we really don’t think we are worthy of love. Showing need means we allow him to play his role, and to show off his prowess and competence, to make a difference in our lives.

Think and Act Positive... He'll always have fun with you!

 

So What Do You Do?

Start sending the message that you need him. Pride has no place in this magic formula. Let him know that he can fill up the empty spaces in your seemingly already full life with his power and strength. And after you get the man, please ladies, it is very important to send this message to him even after being with him for 5,10, or even 15 years.

Now if you’ve already made the mistake of making him feel unneeded, there may still be time to turn it around.

Here are some simple steps you can take to show a man you need him:-

  • · Keep in mind at all times that your man wants to be your hero. It may sound corny, but he wants to be the one who shields and protects you from hurt or harm, whenever any problems come up for you. You need to give him many opportunities to be just that, because he instinctively sees that as his role as the man in your life.
  • · Ask for help when you are doing things around the house or in the garden
  • · Talk about a problem you are having at work or with a project you may be working on. He will instinctively want to offer you suggestions on how to fix it…just listen and say thanks.
  • · Further to that, ask him for some ideas about the project. Bounce some ideas off him, even if you don’t use any of his suggestions, he will feel like he plays a part in other parts of your life.
  • · Tell him when he suggests something you had not thought of.
  • · Tell him he makes you feel special, and that he makes you feel safe, and that no one has ever made you feel the way he makes you feel.
  • · Ask him to cook for you sometimes, especially if there is a particular thing he makes really well…request it sometimes.
  • · Allow yourself to fall asleep on his chest sometimes.
  • · After a particularly rough day, come home and tell him and tell him you need one of his hugs.

The long and short of it is this:- Don’t take the attitude that you won’t stroke your man’s ego, because he needs it to thrive in the relationship, and believe me, if you don’t stroke his ego, he won’t thrive, the relationship will hit rocky terrain, and worst of all…if you don’t stroke that ego, someone else inevitably will.

 

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    • acanderson24 profile image

      acanderson24 

      11 years ago

      Ok, this was good....

    working

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