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Are Men Intimidated By Successful Women?

Updated on March 10, 2012

Success VS Personality...

A while back A&E had a television show called “Confessions of a Matchmaker”. The show centered on Patti Novak the matchmaker in this case providing dating advice to both men and women.

The dates are video taped and Patti goes over them with her clients afterwards pointing out their missteps along with offering them tips for future encounters. In one episode a woman told Patti the reason she has a hard time dating is because “men are intimidated by successful women”.

If that were true none of the following women would have husbands or significant others. These are among some the most successful women on the planet proving that success does not equal loneliness.

Julia Roberts

Halle Berry



Barbra Streisand

Ursula Burns, president of Xerox Corp

Marjorie Scardino (CEO of Pearson, a $3.5 billion international media conglomerate )

Meg Whitman (Former President and (CEO) of eBay, Inc (Billionaire) and married.

If a woman’s success really intimidated men none of these women would ever get a date!

Generally speaking whenever a person is asked why they don’t have something in their life the natural thing to do is point our fingers away from us.

Ironically the moment you do this you take away the only real power you have.

You can change how you approach life, you can control your thought process, you can socialize in different places, join groups with similar interests… you can do whatever it takes to improve your life.

However if you believe the “problem” is outside of you then you have no control.

The only person you have control of is yourself.

Trying to change the world leads to frustration.


A woman states that men can’t handle her directness but the truth is they see her as lacking tack, rude, or too serious. Basically she is not pleasant to be around.

Maybe it’s your personality and not your success that's repelling these men away.

Although men are visual creatures by nature a woman’s personality will determine if there is a first or better yet a second date.

No one really enjoys being around a standoffish, serious, stern , cold person wearing a sign that reads “Prove you are worth my time” around their neck.

An attractive woman who is personable, with a great sense of humor, and has a genuine interest in other people will have no problem getting asked out no matter how “successful” she is.

Success & Equality

The super successful woman most likely will have to be open to abandoning some traditions when it comes to paying for dates, exotic vacations, and expensive gifts.

If a multi-millionaire or billionaire male were dating a woman making significantly less money than him he would have no problem sharing his lifestyle with the one he loves.

It is highly unlikely that any of the aforementioned women such as Madonna or Oprah will ever find men to date that are on their same level financially.

Are Men Intimidated By Successful Women?

I’ve never heard a guy say he was honestly intimidated by a woman because of her “success”. However I have heard men tell women they were intimidated in order to avoid going out on another date. It's their way of rejecting her while still making her feel good about herself.

In their minds it’s equivalent to rejecting the woman while “complementing” her at the same time. It’s very similar to saying, “It’s not you, it’s me” as you break up with someone. If you are paid a compliment while being rejected chances are you aren't being told the whole truth.

One would have to have a fairly large ego to really believe the reason they don’t have a “significant other” in their life is because they are "too beautiful", "too successful", "too rich", "too famous" or "too smart." If a woman gave it any serious thought she would know how insincere his statment is. Basically he's saying, "I can't date you because you have too much going for yourself!" "I'm really into poor or lower middle class types of women". hmmmm.....

Men And Women Reject Differently

Women reject (directly) men that approach them whom they have no interest in.

Men reject women (indirectly) by not approaching women they are not interested in

.Both sexes have been known to use “avoidance tactics” to end would be relationships.

Instead of telling the person they don’t want to see them again they hope by avoiding them, not answering the phone, or replying to their emails the person will “get the hint”.

In my opinion more often than not a woman who is not being asked out is very likely being rejected indirectly by men and it’s not because they are intimidated.

One man’s opinion....


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