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men the greatest mystery revealed

Updated on February 3, 2010

Mysteries Men and Women

read up on the history of this, the Capuchin Crypt in Rome, Italy - a truly humbling tomb across the street from the Hard Rock Cafe and right up from Bernini Square. These Monks knew themselves, and the value of life. And death. And leaving something
read up on the history of this, the Capuchin Crypt in Rome, Italy - a truly humbling tomb across the street from the Hard Rock Cafe and right up from Bernini Square. These Monks knew themselves, and the value of life. And death. And leaving something

Men - Is It Such A Mystery?

I used to think men were a big mystery. That was when I looked through the eyes of a woman trying to understand a man. When I wanted to have a relationship with a man who could fulfill my needs and in turn I could fulfill his if only I knew what they were. I tried to guess just what a man I was attracted to was looking for in a woman. Sometimes I even asked. And when they answered, I was shocked to hear a littany of physical attributes and then something like, "you know, someone who likes the same things I like and who has her own life". Sometimes that was the answer. Unless of course I asked someone from a different crowd, a more "gothic" or "cerebral" gent from the other side of my romantic self...then of course he wanted some beautiful goddess creature who could see into his soul with the deepness of hers and play his hear like the strings of a violin and together, they would be together and alone. In passion, and pain - love and happiness - light and dark - and search all the depths of emotion until they had created the ultimate symphony and crescendo that would only be fed by the love they had for one another.

Okay, so black and white and everything in between - I would get every answer under the sun. And I would want to be the person this person could fall in love with if I found something familiar in his story, or in his eyes, or felt a twinge of attraction - and might "test the waters" for a second to see if it was mutual. But it hardly ever was and so I would move on not giving it much more thought. As did he. Such is the ritual search for a mate.

But being a writer gives more people access to "feelings" and "scenes" and allows them to feel a connection to the author - whether or not it is fiction or not. There is hardly ever a question. If you write it in first person, surely, those are your feelings. There can be no detachment.  That gives an author a responsibility when feelings are shared, but what do you do when one places a heart in your hands under false pretenses?

Back to men's you can tell...I do not believe men are any more a mystery than women are. We all present ourselves to everyone as who we believe we are. The question that a true perception of ourselves or who we wish to be or how we wish to be perceived? The highest expectation of ourselves and the goal we wish to obtain and what we believe our reality is.

When you get to know someone you ask them "What do you do?" "Where do you live" "What do you do for fun?"  You ask what you want to know and probably narrow your perception of someone as you begin to form judgments of who they are. We all do. Its how we were taught.

Tell me three things about you that you would love people to know first when they meet you? How would your best friend describe you? What would your mother say about you? What would your ex-girlfriend tell her new boyfriend about you? What would your neighbor say about you if the police were to question him about your habits because they thought you might be involved in a crime? What would your wife or lover say if someone asked them to give you an honest reference? What are you most proud of? What are you least proud of? What would you do if you had three days with no responsibilities and no place to be and no one to answer to and you would not be held accountable for anything you did?

These questions will tell you what kind of man you are. Or what kind of woman you are. I don't believe men or women are such a mystery. What is a mystery is when we lie to ourselves and others. Let's be honest = Straight up, for real. With ourselves first. Then with those we love.

Where is the mystery in that?


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    • Erin LeFey profile imageAUTHOR

      Erin LeFey 

      7 years ago from Maryland

      Thanks so much epigramman, for the great comment. I had to reread this piece, It was one of the first I wrote. I'll have to write more in this style. I will be visiting your hubs as well!

    • epigramman profile image


      7 years ago

      ...well there's no mystery here - you're just one terrific writer who is not afraid to compose a challenging piece and then provoke your readers into thinking and feeling - so I say bravo to you and keep doing what you do best!!!!!!

    • Erin LeFey profile imageAUTHOR

      Erin LeFey 

      8 years ago from Maryland

      thank you katyzzz, you should have see all the was a fun project and I did it all in 3 days. Too funny! I have amazing support to my last minute questionnaires!

    • katyzzz profile image


      8 years ago from Sydney, Australia

      Very thoughtful and amusing in parts. Well done,Erin


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