- Gender and Relationships
Cultivate Positive Association
Are you self-made?
Ability without opportunity is of little account. No man is self-made and no one succeeds in isolation.It is only human beings we have to relate with on earth. This implies we need relationship and it is essential we engage in it. If we don't have good human relationship,we can't get any where in life. Do you know the proverb that states explicitly ''a single tree can't make a forest.''
Our making is traceable to others. We need both divine and human intervention to excel. Oh! I pity the people who think they are self-sufficient.
There is this story of Mr. Alfred - an upcoming lawyer who pestered Barrister Williams - a renowned SAN, for an insight to his (Alfred's) persisting low patronage.One glorious morning Barrister Williams made a brief stop at Mr. Alfred's office and took a long walk with him down the street. Shockingly, THe following day, Mr.Alfred's office was bombarded with calls from all nooks and crannies of the city. The general perception was that if Barrister Williams could associate openly with Mr. Alfred, then he must be a lawyer worth his salt.
There is practically no good association without a benefit. Is it a study group in school,a department in church, a business or professional body etc.? Two or more refined heads will always be better than one. Association therefore helps us to achieve what seems individually impossible with ease.
The over -emphasis on self-worth, our uniqueness, and self-independence has been the bane of our progress, in that they drive it to the extreme. Of course, most of us believe that it is our sun that is shining now hence, it would be a stain on our dignity to be dictated to or bossed under whatever guise.
The truth remains that the arrogance that makes us resent association with others will also make us insensitive to those who need us. Even the finest tool still needs a competent hand to handle it. You incriminate yourself when you discriminate against others. A three-fold cord cannot be easily broken. It is only a broomstick one can break, not the broom as a whole.
Some of us are beautiful,handsome and very educated but our relationship with other people is appauling. Our insensitivity and disassociation has drawn people away from us. Positive connection cannot be achieved if you are inexpressive. You and I must wake up each day to speak and show interest in people and life. Your mouth is like a shop. If you shut it, no one will recognize you. Ability to express yourself is one key that will link you to the right connection.
A positive feeling is stirred up i when you are connected to the right person or a part of a group.Facts and great ideas are transfered when you are truly linked.The person or organisation that you know can advise or help you in your social and professional life.
How can you recognize good associations?
- Identify and locate people who have gloriously excelled in your field.
- Select men and women who impart knowledge, activate potentials and disciplines you up to fix squarely into the excellency of your vision.
- People who coach,identify your gifts,talents and weakness and help you to fine tune them into skills are worth associating with. You and I can have such people as our mentors.
- People who comfort,guide and encourage during the perils, and storms of life, when things do not work as planned are good associates.
Experience is yet to be dethroned as the best teacher. It is better to identify and follow men and women who have lived through what you or I are about to face. In a multitude of counsellors, Solomon says, there is safety. One of the greatest needs of life is that men will move you do what you do to fulfill your destiny. It is important to have a network of mutual support and human connection in this our stressed up and technology driven world.
There is a need for you and I to examine our lives and relationships so that we can draw strength and motivation from the right mentors. However, you must be prudent and sensible with the the kind of people we associate with. Good associates will lead you aright but the foolish ones will mislead you. Never underestimate the influences of all our acquaintances. Those who pray for you,who remind you of your special gifts, who value and encourage you are worthy associates.
All things considered,lies and deception will keep us away from encountering good associates. If we are to develop good acquaintances, we must speak the truth in love. Moreover, if you want to benefit from a good relationship, ask GOD to lead you to your destiny helpers. Be ready to pay a price, for surely, some character traits must be jettisoned and a great deal imbibed. Value and respect relationships. Above all , be bold in what you stand for and be careful about what you fall for. It is not what you have that matters, it is who you know.
May we be sensitive enough to be led to our destiny helpers.
image credit: kozzi.com
Friends with Benefits
Is it necessary or important to balance our relationships and friends? Much as we love to associate with everybody and we all want everybody to like us, we must be aware of indiscreet associations- poisonous relationships.