ArtsAutosBooksBusinessEducationEntertainmentFamilyFashionFoodGamesGenderHealthHolidaysHomeHubPagesPersonal FinancePetsPoliticsReligionSportsTechnologyTravel

Troubled Teenage and Relationships

Updated on June 28, 2019
Elia Hasan profile image

I have written this article based on my own experiences. I met a lot of people who had similar issues. Hope it helps the ones I haven't met.

I am a 25 years old and have been through a lot of ups and downs in my teenage relationships. It all started when I was 17. The few relationships I have had, they all just fell apart somehow and I used to wonder what is wrong? Is it me or is it the other person? I have been called delusional and an emotional fool as well and this just went on till I was 22. It was really confusing. Even made me question my self-worth and seeing others being in year-long relationships made it even worse. Mine never lasted more than 6 months! Although I was pretty cool as a kid. Funny, smart with a bit of sarcasm and had a lot of friends. Always in the gang of cool kids at school. Not that pretty though.

Yet, relationships! *sigh*

Why did that happen?

Took me a lot of time figure out and understand but eventually, I did. It was because I thought very less of myself and would just fall for any guy who said he loved me.

It was lack of love since childhood. I was a troubled one. Grew up watching my mom n dad fight each other. Later it became worse when my dad started physically assaulting my Mom. Well, eventually they got separated and it was difficult. Me and my brother, we stayed with mom. We would hear her cry at night. Working like a maniac to meet all the financial needs. Those fights were etched in my mind. The day when my dad left, he even took the toys he got for us. It was weird afterward. I would miss dad sometimes and mom used to be at work or in the kitchen or doing laundry. She was just always busy trying to give us a good life. At school, kids would talk about their Dad's and I would just go quite not knowing what to say. I would hear their dad n daughter stories and wonder what it actually feels like to live with your father. I still don't know.

Growing up in such an environment affects a child's brain, their thinking process, their emotions and no one gets to know about that because the signs are not visible in the early stage because kids don't communicate about it. They don't even understand what's happening. And, all the insecurities come out in the growing up phase. Some end up being really aggressive and some become a rebel. Parents are a vital part of one's life as we acquire a majority of the traits from them. Kid's who are raised by a single parent always have some or the other issues. We all read, know and talk about the love of a mother. Can you think of a child growing up missing out on mother's love? There is a very huge and important part missing in their lives. Single parents also end up giving less time to their child because of the responsibilities they have. One person doing the job of two people, a mother, and a father. It's exhausting, I know it. I saw my mother all those years and there was nothing I could do about it.

You understand now?

That's where it all comes from. I just always wanted to just find that one guy and be with him forever and ever. Nicholas spark. Ugghhhh. Maybe somewhere to fill the void my father had left. My first boyfriend, in high school. We were head over heels in love with each other and I thought 'yayyyieee this is it'. But we broke up once we graduated. We had become a different person by then. He became very aggressive and started physically assaulting me and that made me go more into hiding. I dated a couple of other guys but got over them after a few months and few of them cheated on me then I ended up cheating on few. All of that just to be with someone and to be loved. To just somehow find the missing pieces. I didn't even know I was doing that.

Know if you are doing it right or not.

view quiz statistics

If you scored more than 60% in the quiz, then you are doing it right. The first step towards your betterment is to be aware because then only you would be able to work on it and if you have scored less than 60%, try and turn those answers into a 'Yes' in your lives. Be honest to yourself while answering because this is for you to know and understand. Not to show others that you are doing it right.

And things started getting better.

It could have been a never-ending cycle. But, slowly and steadily I figured it out. There was nothing wrong with me. I was young, craving love, guidance and was not wise enough to understand a lot of things or sensible enough to make the right choice. I realized that I have not yet found the right person. Yes, that's all. When you don't have to explain to them who you are and where you come from every time you act weird. They understand you and they don't mess you up further. Nothing too dramatic! If you are in a situation like that, just wait out. Keep yourself away from these toxic relationships. They can really mess you up if you don't get out at the right time. Try and understand yourself better. Talk to yourself. Work upon your insecurities. Get yourself professional help if need be. It helps you figure out a lot of things. I sought professional help and it did wonders for me.

Most importantly, hang in there. You are not alone. You'll get through. It's just a rough patch and you are going to come out of it stronger than ever.

Self awareness doesn't stop you from making mistakes, it allows you to learn from them.

Comments

    0 of 8192 characters used
    Post Comment
    • dashingscorpio profile image

      dashingscorpio 

      9 months ago from Chicago

      Here's what no teenager knows or understands; very few people ever meet their "soulmate" in their teenage years regardless of what happened in their household.

      The truth is they have yet to figure out who (they) are let alone what they want and need in a mate for life!

      Secondly immaturity and being naïve is likely to cause a person to be "all in" without questioning much. Teens are fairly gullible.

      Whatever made for an "ideal mate" at age 17, 18, or 20 is not likely going to cut it for you at ages 25, 30, and beyond.

      When it comes to love and relationships most of us (fail our way) to success. Very few people hit a homerun their first, second, third, or fourth time up at bat. If this were not true we would all be married to our high school sweethearts!

      A "first love" is rarely ever a last love!

      Most people don't understand how immature they were until they get older and look back in hindsight or when they have teenage children. They'll understand why their parents tried to warn them.

    • profile image

      Divya 

      9 months ago

      Elia you a very strong and tough girl and I really respect you for that..

      Loads of loveā¤

    • profile image

      Samiksha 

      9 months ago

      It’s amazing Ellu ma’am it gives such a good inspiration you are really lucky to have such mother hope you will never phase such issues in your life.

    • profile image

      Shweta 

      9 months ago

      Aww its beautifully written elu and took me down the memory lane.. i have actually witnessed that phase and trust me you guys are lucky to have Aunty as your mom. Very tough and strong and she made sure to give you guys the life you deserved

    working

    This website uses cookies

    As a user in the EEA, your approval is needed on a few things. To provide a better website experience, hubpages.com uses cookies (and other similar technologies) and may collect, process, and share personal data. Please choose which areas of our service you consent to our doing so.

    For more information on managing or withdrawing consents and how we handle data, visit our Privacy Policy at: https://maven.io/company/pages/privacy

    Show Details
    Necessary
    HubPages Device IDThis is used to identify particular browsers or devices when the access the service, and is used for security reasons.
    LoginThis is necessary to sign in to the HubPages Service.
    Google RecaptchaThis is used to prevent bots and spam. (Privacy Policy)
    AkismetThis is used to detect comment spam. (Privacy Policy)
    HubPages Google AnalyticsThis is used to provide data on traffic to our website, all personally identifyable data is anonymized. (Privacy Policy)
    HubPages Traffic PixelThis is used to collect data on traffic to articles and other pages on our site. Unless you are signed in to a HubPages account, all personally identifiable information is anonymized.
    Amazon Web ServicesThis is a cloud services platform that we used to host our service. (Privacy Policy)
    CloudflareThis is a cloud CDN service that we use to efficiently deliver files required for our service to operate such as javascript, cascading style sheets, images, and videos. (Privacy Policy)
    Google Hosted LibrariesJavascript software libraries such as jQuery are loaded at endpoints on the googleapis.com or gstatic.com domains, for performance and efficiency reasons. (Privacy Policy)
    Features
    Google Custom SearchThis is feature allows you to search the site. (Privacy Policy)
    Google MapsSome articles have Google Maps embedded in them. (Privacy Policy)
    Google ChartsThis is used to display charts and graphs on articles and the author center. (Privacy Policy)
    Google AdSense Host APIThis service allows you to sign up for or associate a Google AdSense account with HubPages, so that you can earn money from ads on your articles. No data is shared unless you engage with this feature. (Privacy Policy)
    Google YouTubeSome articles have YouTube videos embedded in them. (Privacy Policy)
    VimeoSome articles have Vimeo videos embedded in them. (Privacy Policy)
    PaypalThis is used for a registered author who enrolls in the HubPages Earnings program and requests to be paid via PayPal. No data is shared with Paypal unless you engage with this feature. (Privacy Policy)
    Facebook LoginYou can use this to streamline signing up for, or signing in to your Hubpages account. No data is shared with Facebook unless you engage with this feature. (Privacy Policy)
    MavenThis supports the Maven widget and search functionality. (Privacy Policy)
    Marketing
    Google AdSenseThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    Google DoubleClickGoogle provides ad serving technology and runs an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    Index ExchangeThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    SovrnThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    Facebook AdsThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    Amazon Unified Ad MarketplaceThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    AppNexusThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    OpenxThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    Rubicon ProjectThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    TripleLiftThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    Say MediaWe partner with Say Media to deliver ad campaigns on our sites. (Privacy Policy)
    Remarketing PixelsWe may use remarketing pixels from advertising networks such as Google AdWords, Bing Ads, and Facebook in order to advertise the HubPages Service to people that have visited our sites.
    Conversion Tracking PixelsWe may use conversion tracking pixels from advertising networks such as Google AdWords, Bing Ads, and Facebook in order to identify when an advertisement has successfully resulted in the desired action, such as signing up for the HubPages Service or publishing an article on the HubPages Service.
    Statistics
    Author Google AnalyticsThis is used to provide traffic data and reports to the authors of articles on the HubPages Service. (Privacy Policy)
    ComscoreComScore is a media measurement and analytics company providing marketing data and analytics to enterprises, media and advertising agencies, and publishers. Non-consent will result in ComScore only processing obfuscated personal data. (Privacy Policy)
    Amazon Tracking PixelSome articles display amazon products as part of the Amazon Affiliate program, this pixel provides traffic statistics for those products (Privacy Policy)
    ClickscoThis is a data management platform studying reader behavior (Privacy Policy)