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Being Too Much Of A Nice Boyfriend Can Be Harmful

Updated on September 14, 2010

Don't Be Too Much Of A Nice Boyfriend

If you're a "nice boyfriend" but this doesn't seem to be
getting you anywhere with your relationship and it's even
making your girl act like she's doesn't appreciate you, then
this is the most important email you'll ever read....


I remember how hard I tried to be the "nicest boyfriend"
I could ever be. I would do pretty much ANYTHING for
my girlfriends.

I'd buy them nice things, sometimes expensive things that
I really couldn't afford. I'd write them little messages and
cards, send them flowers all the time along with chocolates.

I'd be telling them how much I love them and how fortunate
I felt I had them in my life. I was constantly letting them know
about my feelings. That's what I had been told you were
supposed to do to make your girlfriends feel happy and wanting
to be with you.

I remember this one time I was out watching a baseball
game with some friends and my girlfriend called me saying
how hungry she was. I ran out of the game and left my friends
standing there so I could go buy her some dinner. They got
really mad at me for leaving them and all I said was...

"It's my job to be the best boyfriend I can be!"


Reading that now I feel sick to my stomach, I wonder why
none of my friend slapped me in the face like the little pussy
bitch I was acting back then.

I'm not saying SOME of those things I did back then weren't
ok, but the degree of pussiness was just too much. A woman
wants you to be a good partner, she wants you to do nice
things for her, that's for sure, but women will also test you to
see how far things can go. If you demonstrate to her that she
has strings on her fingers attached to your body and therefore she
can play with you as she pleases, you are DEAD, and so is your
relationship with her.

Now, you might be asking "what am I doing wrong then?"

I'll lay out a few things that might be "too nice" so you can be
aware and tweak things accordingly.

1) Canceling anything for her:

A NICE boyfriend will tend to cancel any plans that they
might have only to do what his girl wants. If she has something
to do, that will automatically be more important than what he
might have to do.

Women will respect your time only after YOU respect your
own time, if you don't establish a respect line she won't respect
you out of nowhere.

If you have something to do too, talk to her and determine
which one's more important and do it first. If they're equally
important do yours and leather do hers, but don't put off your
responsibilities for hers.

2) Buying her affection and love with gifts:

Women LOVE gifts, well who doesn't really and overly nice
guys tend to have this uncontrollable desire to keep buying
women stuff. Sometimes it's REALLY expensive stuff they
cannot really afford. I've seen guys pay a huge amount of cash
for a gift that they would never in a million years pay if it was
something for themselves.

Can you believe that?!

I know I can, I was one of those guys.

It's like a void in a relationship that we feel could be filled
with a NICE GIFT.

I call it the gift drug, when a man buys something nice for
his woman to get her to "love him". Obviously the woman loves
it and displays affection which gives the guy the "fix", just like
any other drug.

3) Exchanging you friends for her friends:

Lets face it, in a relationship it's common to make friends with
your woman's friends and vice versa, but it's NOT ok to stop
hanging out with your friends only to be with her friends.

Maybe you like her friends a lot, but STILL there's no reason
to avoid your friends or stop seeing them because you only hang
out with her friends.

If she wants you to be with her and her friends she also has to
commit to being with you and your friends. I've heard girlfriends
tell a guy...

..."I just don't enjoy being with your friends, I'd rather be with


Just like that. Don't allow that type of behavior, it's got to be a
50/50 thing, if she wants you to be with her group, she has to be
able to hand out with yours.

4) Constantly telling her how much you love her:

It's ok to display affection, to show love with hugs, kisses, words,
cards, etc.But a man needs to have what I call the "affection
calibration tool". This is something that'll let you know when you're
going overboard with the display of affection.

It's VERY important to have her wondering HOW much you
really love her. It's always a good thing when a woman says to herself:

"I know he loves me a lot, but I'm not sure just HOW much, he's
hard to figure out because he says he loves me but sometimes he's
a tiny bit distant".

Women think a lot and it's not good to let them know how much
you actually care. Make her feel and let her know you DO care a lot,
but not THAT MUCH.

Also constantly telling her you love her and showing all this emotion
is not good, it can be intoxicating to her. When you show a woman
too much emotion and affection she'll desensitize from it and it's not good.

Keep these tips in mind and analyze how you're behaving.

Are you being TOO MUCH of a nice boyfriend? then stop it.

Be a GREAT boyfriend but do it in a manly way.

I'll talk to you soon,

Your friend


P.S. If you want to read more articles not posted on Hubpages, feel free to go to my blog:


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    • profile image

      Jen 2 years ago

      I think balance is what we are looking for. Even very nice girls are boring. So it is the same for guys. Be nice but don't be a pushover.

    • profile image

      Taylor 3 years ago

      Obviously I can't speak for all girls, but that last one will get you kicked to the curb in no time flat. I don't have any interest in playing silly games with me who feel like they need to be "a little distant." Sorry, not happening here.

    • profile image

      Thankful Chica 4 years ago

      Thank you soooo much! I'm going to have to show this article to my boyfriend.

    • profile image

      Jossie 4 years ago

      good stuff so over my boyfriend telling me how amazing i am uugh

    • profile image

      Melissa 6 years ago