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How to Maintain a Healthy Relationship

Updated on February 1, 2012
Do spend time together.  An open communication strengthens a relationship. (Photo courtesy of Christine Guevarra)
Do spend time together. An open communication strengthens a relationship. (Photo courtesy of Christine Guevarra)

Is your present relationship healthy?

There are a lot of couples, families and friends who encounter conflicts during their relationship. We have discussed about “How to Mend a Broken Relationship” in my previous article. I suggest that you read it for a better understanding. To mend a strained relationship can be considered as a new start. However, fixing it alone is not enough. Sustaining it is another thing. You need to adapt a growth mindset. There are things that you need to do in order to continue that harmonious connection with each other. So here are some tips to maintain a healthy relationship. . .


Inasmuch as both sides have already been hurt, you must learn to forgive and trust each other again. You should try to understand where the other person is coming from in order to learn how to forgive. It is not only by forgiving others that is important. Likewise, you should also learn how to forgive yourself if you did a terrible mistake. Forgiving is not just enough. You must learn how to TRUST AGAIN. Take away all your doubts if he once cheated you. Remember that you decided to continue being with him. If you fail to give trust a second time around, you may again and again end up in a broken relationship.


Since you are willing to give your relationship a second chance, you must stay focus on the present situation. Do not dwell on the past. Do not bring it up again and again everytime you have a discussion or an argument. Past is past. Learn to face the present and plan for the future. If you have doubts, ask the person directly. Concentrate on the existing problem. It will guide both sides on what to do next. Bringing up the past won’t help solve your existing worries. If you continue to blame each other, there is a big risk that your relationship won’t work. Negativism in your life can lead to depression, mistrust, fear and emotional distress. It will only add up to a bigger dilemma.


Listening is not just simply hearing what the other person is saying. To attentively listen is to understand what is being said and at the same time realizing what his/ her gestures may mean to you. You must also learn to read between the lines what your partner is telling you. The other person might have some concerns that he/ she doesn’t know how to express it. By listening carefully, you will be able to easily grasp it. This will help in resolving any discussion to avoid further arguments.


When you learn how to listen and understand each other, you begin to learn how to appreciate one another. Try to find out more things about the other person. Tell the person why you love him/ her. A big hug will be greatly appreciated by your partner. Even by just telling someone that you like the food he/ she cooked will mean a lot. By saying “thank you” and a pat on the back will show your gratefulness. If you can afford, you can buy gifts to remember special occasions. Be more thoughtful. Be more appreciative. Do recognize the value of the other person and learn to show it.

. . . join groups with same interest and values in life.  These will help you to look at the bigger picture about relationships. (Photo courtesy of Christine Guevarra)
. . . join groups with same interest and values in life. These will help you to look at the bigger picture about relationships. (Photo courtesy of Christine Guevarra)


When you start into a new relationship, you have to agree to be open and honest with each other. This will determine your trust level. It is much better if you can set rules within your family. For families, rules will help discipline the kids. For couples, do set limitations and boundaries. Agree on something that is beneficial to both sides. Make sure that everybody gets hear. In this way, you will know the likes and dislikes of each other. Do not impose because it will make you look stubborn. Be flexible also but with a reason. You should organized things and schedule in order to maintain a healthy relationship.


As we have mentioned in our previous article, take time-out from your busy schedule. Set activities that will make you all enjoy the day. Spend time alone together. Go out sometimes and have fun even if life seems so hard. If possible, get daily updates about the other person. This creates an open communication between you and your partners, family or friends. An open communication strengthens a relationship. It will also show that you are interested about his/ her activities in life. By knowing something about the other person, you will learn better to appreciate him/ her as an individual.


No couples can live on their own. It is also important that you join groups with same interest and values in life. These will help you to look at the bigger picture about relationships. You can share your experiences with each other. You will also learn from others point of view. However, you must also choose and know something about the type of crowd before you will get involved. Joining church group or professional counseling team can support couples in maintaining a healthy relationship. Church leaders or experts can give you advices that are worth considering also.


For couples, it is important to maintain a healthy sex life. As mentioned in the book “Women’s Health Wisdom 2002”, “A study from the United Kingdom reports that couples who engage in regular sexual activities tend to look much younger than their counterparts. People who are sexually active tend to enjoy sex more as they age.” You may agree that sex is important and rewarding. Never force your partner to give in. Be sensitive to each other’s needs. This is a significant part of bonding between couples in a committed relationship.


You should be open to receive and give feedback to each other. In this way, you grow together. Allow your partner to correct you. Do not become defensive everytime you feel that something negative has been said to you. Be more open minded. Do your own self-evaluation. Be able to learn from criticisms you received but at the same learn to clarify also. Likewise, you should also explain to your partner any feedback you want to give in a constructive manner.

You may also check out other articles on Understanding Relationship Communication, Signs of a Failing Relationship, What Causes a Relationship to Fail, Factors Why People Fight, and How to Mend a Broken Relationship.


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    • profile image


      4 years ago

      What a plsueare to find someone who thinks through the issues

    • TINA V profile imageAUTHOR

      TINA V 

      8 years ago

      noorin, thank you for checking out this hub. I really appreciate your comment and rating. Have a great week!

    • noorin profile image


      8 years ago from Canada

      I luved it Tina V, rated it up and will be following you =) Forgiveness and focusing on present are great keys =)

    • TINA V profile imageAUTHOR

      TINA V 

      8 years ago

      Hi Relationshipc,

      Thank you for sharing a bit of your experience. I’m sure our readers will learn a lot from it especially about the importance of listening and reading between the lines as part of an effective relationship communication. Indeed, we can become better person through learning from each other’s experiences.

      I really appreciate your comment. Thank you for checking out this hub. Enjoy your week!

    • Relationshipc profile image


      8 years ago from Alberta, Canada

      I love the bit about about listening as it's so true. It's hard to really listen sometimes and not think about what you are going to say next. And it's true - sometimes my husband says something that means something completely different. After learning to read between the lines of what he says arguments are avoided, and I now know him better than when I didn't listen properly. :) Great hub!

    • TINA V profile imageAUTHOR

      TINA V 

      8 years ago

      Thanks Micky! Just focus on the present but be sure to remain teachable. I know you've always been open minded. Keep on hubbing... Enjoy your week!

    • Micky Dee profile image

      Micky Dee 

      8 years ago

      More great advice Tina. I need to focus more on the present. God bless!

    • TINA V profile imageAUTHOR

      TINA V 

      8 years ago

      Hi kookoo88,

      I'm sure your wife is always right. haha... LOL! Just kidding. I really appreciate your comment. Thank you for sharing it. I hope people would realize the importance of a healthy relationship.

      Have a great week!

    • kookoo88 profile image


      8 years ago from Cripple Creek

      My wife wants me to be teachable too. ;) *grin* There is a great deal of truth in this. Very important for people to know.

    • TINA V profile imageAUTHOR

      TINA V 

      8 years ago

      Hi ilovetowrite94, I really appreciate your comments. I hope this would also help every readers in their personal relationships in life. Thank you.

    • ilovetowrite94 profile image


      8 years ago

      Awesome Hub.. A Healthy relationship is so hard to find now adays. This kind of advice should be taken to heart and listened to.

    • TINA V profile imageAUTHOR

      TINA V 

      8 years ago

      Hi Stachys Ross, I am happy to know that this article benefited you. I hope that other readers would also feel the same way. I really appreciate your comment. Thank you for taking time to read this hub. Have a great week!

    • profile image

      Stachys Ross 

      8 years ago

      Hi Tina great article you put down on here i took out time to read every bit of each words to my understanding. I learnt much it feels it was written for me alone.thanks for d good work.

    • TINA V profile imageAUTHOR

      TINA V 

      9 years ago

      Hi nadiaazhar! Thank you so much for your comment.

      Happy New Year!

    • nadiaazhar profile image


      9 years ago from kuwait

      lovely piece of advice!!

    • TINA V profile imageAUTHOR

      TINA V 

      9 years ago

      Hi Deborrah, there is indeed a room for improvement in every relationship. I hope that this would also help our readers.

      Hi prasetio30, i am glad that you like this hub. I am happy to hear from you.

      Thanks to both of you. Have a great week!

    • prasetio30 profile image


      9 years ago from malang-indonesia

      you have wonderful advice here. WE have to practice it. nice hub. two thumbs up for you.

    • DeBorrah K. Ogans profile image

      DeBorrah K Ogans 

      9 years ago

      Tina V, Great hub! You have some very good points and given some very good advice for healthy relationships! I think that there is always room for improvement in all relationships! Thank you for sharing, Blessings!

    • TINA V profile imageAUTHOR

      TINA V 

      9 years ago

      Thank you for your support. Have a great week!

    • profile image


      9 years ago

      Great article Tina V. I have joined your fanclub!

    • TINA V profile imageAUTHOR

      TINA V 

      9 years ago

      Thank you for reading my hub.

    • wrenfrost56 profile image


      9 years ago from U.K.

      Another great article Tina V, lots of really good advice and well written.

    • TINA V profile imageAUTHOR

      TINA V 

      9 years ago

      I'm glad to hear that from you. I hope that the other readers would feel the same way too. Thank you.

    • Joe Andover profile image

      Ken Ratajczak 

      9 years ago from North Ridgeville, Ohio

      Good advice. I kindheartedly agree that listening, appreciating each other, communication , honesty and trust are essential to a healthy relationship. Given your psychology background, this was very informative. Good Hub.


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