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Relationship Standards Today

Updated on November 24, 2019
Yenaros profile image

Yenaros is an observant intellectual driven to better understand today's society in order to create peace and awareness.

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Do Relationship Standards Exist?

I don't think that many people have standards when it comes to getting into a relationship. Yes, I understand that someone will look at you and tell you "yes, I have standards" when it comes to who they choose to date. But, I thought to myself over the past few years about how standards work, and more importantly, how they’re formed in the first place

I don't believe that there's a such thing as standards when it comes to what people look for in a man or a woman either. They seem to just base what they want in someone off whatever someone else wants. For example, take television or popular television personalities. A lot of people believe everything that they see on screen and, therefore, try to adopt the same methods of thinking, choices, decisions, and even physical appearances. You watch television, and you see the types of men and women that are displayed the most, especially in media that has an age group from fifteen to thirty. How many shows have you watched?

Actually, don't answer that question, answer this one. How many shows have you watched where the characters are just all hot? I mean hot like they come off the cover of magazines or are Instagram models? Yes, those shows.


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The Facts

People get into the characters or even fall in love with some characters to the point where the standards (whatever they allegedly were before) that they had originally begin to evolve. Now, there are many girls and boys that will tell you that they want a man or a woman that likes them for who they are, a likable personality, treats them like a prince or princess. Those three interests that I just mentioned don't make sense, and I'm going to tell you why.

You've most likely met someone throughout your lifetime that likes you for who you are. Otherwise, you wouldn't be who you are today. Now, a likable personality. What does that mean? I know that they should have traits that pique your interest as well as their hobbies and attitudes. However, does that mean toward you specifically, or to everyone they encounter? Because, believe me, I have met some guys and girls that are nice to whoever it is that they're dating and treat the rest of the world around them like complete garbage. To me, that's not a likable personality, that's just being fake. That shows me that you could easily be turned on just like the rest of the world. That person doesn't seem to care about much else other than you, which I find hard to believe.

Now, here comes the one where people want to be treated like a prince or princess. To me, that's not a standard and should never be a standard. This goes back to my point that I made about television. The reference to a prince and princess is more directed at television than real life. I doubt that a lot of people even know what a prince or princess actually does in real life other than what they've managed to snipe from shows and movies. You can't just make that a standard when you don't even have a full understanding of the concept. Cue the people who are about to tell me "Why are you taking this so seriously, it's only a figure of speech. We don't really mean that." Well, are you sure? Because let's face facts here, everyone has a different definition of what their perfect prince or princess will look and act like.

This entire rant loops back to my point earlier, standards are a fantasy. Every person on Earth has that vision of a dream girl or a dream guy that they want to be with them, and they won't settle for 'less' than what they want because they feel like they deserve the person they created in their vision. This is another reason why true love is just that much harder to come by. Everyone feels like they are entitled to that perfect partner, especially when it comes to physical attraction.

No one on this earth is perfect. The chances that you will meet the kind of person you've imagined is probably slimmer than your chances of winning the lottery. You can't create standards based on what you THINK you deserve. I'm not the guy to bring religion into everything I write, but let me give everyone a quick reality check, and you'll see my point when I'm done. While we were all sinners, Christ died for us. He died for us, which was something we did not deserve. There are a lot of things we don't deserve, including a significant other. But, God gifted each and every one of us with the perfect other half that will make us whole. On this Earth, they are somewhere at some point.

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Facing Reality

You can't just sit here and act like you deserve the perfect man or the perfect woman because you're only going to be hurting yourself and potentially whoever you date because you think that you're too good for them. The chances are that you've met the person who was your match, but you shooed them away because of the fact that they didn't meet your "qualifications". And the same people who curve others left and right because of the way they look are the same ones who complain on social media about how much people judge them, or how much they swear they know about the relationship life when they haven't experienced anything relevant.

Standards, or our perception of them, contribute to what ruins relationships. The standards for a person you like is mostly based on physical appearance, and if someone tells you otherwise then they're lying through their teeth. There's no one on this planet who can sit down, look you in the eyes, and say "I'm not physically attracted to the person I'm with."

And what about the people you turn away because of 'standards'? Think about why you turned them away. There are so many people who would love you and treat you the exact way that you want to be treated, but you turn them away because "I'm better than that". Let me ask you something else.

I know, I'm full of questions today. Is it that you don't like that person, or is it because you don't want to be seen with that person? It's nothing to be self-conscious about, we've all done it at some point I'm sure. After all, this entire piece is not to tear anyone down or target a specific group of people, it's meant to expose the reality that so many people have become blind to today.

There are many who will not want to date someone because they don't want to be seen with that person. You're ashamed. But why? This is a person who meshes with you so well, but you choose to not date them because you don't want to be seen with them. What happens if you throw those 'standards' aside and just take that chance, that one chance, to see if that person is the one? You just might find your match.

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This content is accurate and true to the best of the author’s knowledge and is not meant to substitute for formal and individualized advice from a qualified professional.

© 2019 Yenaros

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    • Yenaros profile imageAUTHOR

      Yenaros 

      4 months ago from Miami, Fl

      Yes, absolutely! Very good points

    • Yenaros profile imageAUTHOR

      Yenaros 

      4 months ago from Miami, Fl

      Very true my friend

    • Yenaros profile imageAUTHOR

      Yenaros 

      4 months ago from Miami, Fl

      @dashingscorpio Very true, my friend

    • Yenaros profile imageAUTHOR

      Yenaros 

      4 months ago from Miami, Fl

      @dashingscorpio Very true, my friend

    • dashingscorpio profile image

      dashingscorpio 

      4 months ago from Chicago

      One person's "preference" is viewed as being "shallow" by another person simply because she/he isn't what that person wants. Thankfully there is no such thing as "universal standards" or else we would all be attracted to the (same people)!

      "Beauty is in the eye of the beholder."

      Everyone is entitled to have their own favorite color, favorite ice cream flavor, book, movie, song, "must haves list" and so forth. We don't get to tell people what they "should" like or want!

      In a world with over 7 Billion people rejection just means: Next!

      Life is a (personal) journey.

    • dashingscorpio profile image

      dashingscorpio 

      4 months ago from Chicago

      "They seem to just base what they want in someone off WHATEVER SOMEONE ELSE WANTS." - Very true to some extent.

      However ALL learning is (initially) based upon what we're taught from watching and listening to others. When a 3 year is handed the phone to say good-bye to his grandma and in the background you hear his mother saying: "Tell her I (Love) you grandma." Does that kid really know what he's saying? Does he have any idea of what love is? No!

      However over the years he learns to put words to feelings and in fact is taught to feel, love, and empathize. We (learn) what it is we like through trial and error. Life is a (personal) journey!

      Standards, "must have lists", and "preferences" evolve over time. Whatever made for an ideal mate at age 17 or 21 isn't likely going to cut it for you at age 25, 30, or beyond.

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