ArtsAutosBooksBusinessEducationEntertainmentFamilyFashionFoodGamesGenderHealthHolidaysHomeHubPagesPersonal FinancePetsPoliticsReligionSportsTechnologyTravel

Relationships: Do We Save Our Best For The Beginning?

Updated on December 5, 2012

New love...

Growing together VS Growing apart

It seems early on in life we're taught to behave differently with “new people, new things, and new opportunities”

Clichés such as “Dress to impress”, “You Never Get A Second Chance To Make A First Impression”, and “Always Put Your Best Foot Forward” .

Most people appreciate “the new” and take “the old” for granted….

We put more effort into getting something than we do to keep it.

Competiton brings out "the best" in us.

A man interviewing for a new position expresses enthusiasm, is full of positive energy, and is genuinely grateful for the new opportunity.

He shows up to work fifteen minutes early Monday morning to begin his day…etc

Five years later he's twenty minutes late, a co-worker makes a comment about it. His response, “They’re lucky I showed up!”

Someone buys a new car.

They wash/wax it every weekend and have it detailed every six months.

Two years later it’s got an inch of dirt on it and the interior looks like a grenade went off.

A couple just started dating.

The man comes by the woman’s house one Saturday afternoon. She offers to make him a sandwich or cook him something to eat.

Five years later this same man asks, “Honey, Will you make me a sandwich?”

She says, “You got two hands fix it yourself!”

Change brings Change….

One day you look up and that “special someone” walks out of your life.

The exciting career opportunity that became a “job” is now being eliminated.

Some things are beyond our control and no matter how much effort we exert a happy ending was not in the cards. However if we’re being honest in most instances for one reason or another we let things slide and stop putting in the same kind of effort we did in the beginning.

In essence when we changed our circumstance changed.

Sofas And Gardens…

Relationships are more like gardens than sofas. When you get a new sofa you bring it home, pick out a spot for it, and pretty much leave it alone. A lot of people (not all) take the same approach with relationships/marriages.

Now that I’m married I can relax”, “I’m so glad to be out of the dating scene”.

They stop working out, they pack on the pounds, stop flirting with their mates, stop seducing one another, stop taking showers together, stop buying flowers or sending cards for no reason, stop complimenting each other, stop gazing into each other’s eyes, stop listening intently, stop being open to new things and suggestions, stop having candlelight dinners, stop trying to surprise each other…

They lull themselves into believing there’s no competition out there. In other words they stopped being the people that won the hearts of their mate!

How many times have you heard someone say, “He/she is not the same person I fell in love with?”.

After the relationship ends and a person finds himself back in the dating scene.

The cycle repeats itself.

Suddenly they’re working out, losing weight, dressing nice, trying new things, and in some instances these are things they refused to do with their ex!

They’ll say, “Yes” to anything rather than risk losing the opportunity to be with you in the beginning.

There are many who say becoming lazy is natural. However no one says the following to someone they just met,

“I hope you know in a year, 5 years, or 10 years from now I won’t be doing all these nice things for you! You can forget about wild passionate sex, I hate going to musicals, oral sex will be a thing of the past, the only reason I went to the game, ballet, or shopping with you was because I thought you were hot! Once you’re mine I won’t feel the need to impress your ass!”

It’s been said relationships/marriages require “work”.

Most of that "work" should take place in the selection process.

Knowing who you are, what you want in a relationship, and having the same approach to achieving “happiness” as you define it… that should take place during the screening process.

The rest of the “work” is about making sure you’re staying on track

Much like the work required in a garden…pulling weeds, planting new seeds, watering, nurturing, and when necessary fighting to keep the pests out.

Always keep in mind that whatever you are taking for granted someone else would be glad to have. Competition never dies for something worthwhile.

Whether it is a prime position at a company or a wonderful companion someone wants what you have.

Never stop working to keep what you’ve earned.

Let those around you know “your best is yet to come.”

May your relationship be like a fine wine getting better with time.

Any champion will tell you wining the title is easier than holding onto it.

The “challenger” is usually hungrier than the “titleholder”.


This website uses cookies

As a user in the EEA, your approval is needed on a few things. To provide a better website experience, uses cookies (and other similar technologies) and may collect, process, and share personal data. Please choose which areas of our service you consent to our doing so.

For more information on managing or withdrawing consents and how we handle data, visit our Privacy Policy at:

Show Details
HubPages Device IDThis is used to identify particular browsers or devices when the access the service, and is used for security reasons.
LoginThis is necessary to sign in to the HubPages Service.
Google RecaptchaThis is used to prevent bots and spam. (Privacy Policy)
AkismetThis is used to detect comment spam. (Privacy Policy)
HubPages Google AnalyticsThis is used to provide data on traffic to our website, all personally identifyable data is anonymized. (Privacy Policy)
HubPages Traffic PixelThis is used to collect data on traffic to articles and other pages on our site. Unless you are signed in to a HubPages account, all personally identifiable information is anonymized.
Amazon Web ServicesThis is a cloud services platform that we used to host our service. (Privacy Policy)
CloudflareThis is a cloud CDN service that we use to efficiently deliver files required for our service to operate such as javascript, cascading style sheets, images, and videos. (Privacy Policy)
Google Hosted LibrariesJavascript software libraries such as jQuery are loaded at endpoints on the or domains, for performance and efficiency reasons. (Privacy Policy)
Google Custom SearchThis is feature allows you to search the site. (Privacy Policy)
Google MapsSome articles have Google Maps embedded in them. (Privacy Policy)
Google ChartsThis is used to display charts and graphs on articles and the author center. (Privacy Policy)
Google AdSense Host APIThis service allows you to sign up for or associate a Google AdSense account with HubPages, so that you can earn money from ads on your articles. No data is shared unless you engage with this feature. (Privacy Policy)
Google YouTubeSome articles have YouTube videos embedded in them. (Privacy Policy)
VimeoSome articles have Vimeo videos embedded in them. (Privacy Policy)
PaypalThis is used for a registered author who enrolls in the HubPages Earnings program and requests to be paid via PayPal. No data is shared with Paypal unless you engage with this feature. (Privacy Policy)
Facebook LoginYou can use this to streamline signing up for, or signing in to your Hubpages account. No data is shared with Facebook unless you engage with this feature. (Privacy Policy)
MavenThis supports the Maven widget and search functionality. (Privacy Policy)
Google AdSenseThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
Google DoubleClickGoogle provides ad serving technology and runs an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
Index ExchangeThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
SovrnThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
Facebook AdsThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
Amazon Unified Ad MarketplaceThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
AppNexusThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
OpenxThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
Rubicon ProjectThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
TripleLiftThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
Say MediaWe partner with Say Media to deliver ad campaigns on our sites. (Privacy Policy)
Remarketing PixelsWe may use remarketing pixels from advertising networks such as Google AdWords, Bing Ads, and Facebook in order to advertise the HubPages Service to people that have visited our sites.
Conversion Tracking PixelsWe may use conversion tracking pixels from advertising networks such as Google AdWords, Bing Ads, and Facebook in order to identify when an advertisement has successfully resulted in the desired action, such as signing up for the HubPages Service or publishing an article on the HubPages Service.
Author Google AnalyticsThis is used to provide traffic data and reports to the authors of articles on the HubPages Service. (Privacy Policy)
ComscoreComScore is a media measurement and analytics company providing marketing data and analytics to enterprises, media and advertising agencies, and publishers. Non-consent will result in ComScore only processing obfuscated personal data. (Privacy Policy)
Amazon Tracking PixelSome articles display amazon products as part of the Amazon Affiliate program, this pixel provides traffic statistics for those products (Privacy Policy)
ClickscoThis is a data management platform studying reader behavior (Privacy Policy)