ArtsAutosBooksBusinessEducationEntertainmentFamilyFashionFoodGamesGenderHealthHolidaysHomeHubPagesPersonal FinancePetsPoliticsReligionSportsTechnologyTravel

Could you Be In A Relationship For All The Wrong Reasons?

Updated on May 4, 2011

happiness is out there

Don't be afraid to be happy!

Many people get together for all the wrong reasons. They are lonely and desperate for companionship and often times settle for the first person that shows them some attention.  This is often an ingredient for a later disaster. Sure, you try to persuade yourself that you love them and that things will get better, but, will it?

This relationship is all too often a one sided relationship. One partner is given 70% toward making things work, while the other is often only interested controlling the relationship. Often times in a relationship like this, one person becomes very dominate and the other totally submissive.

This may go on for years, but the submissive person will grow weary of mental and verbal abuse. The worst of these couples seem to be when the male is the submissive partner. They tend to take the abuse longer and repress feeling for far longer than the female counterpart.  Once the home is established, the mortgage, bills and kids become the reason that the man will continue to stay. It becomes harder and harder to walk away, especially when he knows that the court systems are geared toward the woman, and walking away will mean financial ruin.

On the other hand, if the female is the submissive one, especially in a medium to high income household, she will tend to walk away sooner. The reason is the same as stated above.  The courts are geared toward the woman, so if she walks, she continues to be compensated from the man for years to come. This makes things a lot easier on the repressed woman to leave than the man.

This just one type of relationship that is usually doomed from the start, another is the relationship where you just don’t have anything in common. This is another form of relationship that if formed from desperation or loneliness. I’ve seen this type of relationship hundreds of times.

The man may love the outdoors, camping and boating. The woman doesn’t want anything to do with it. The woman may love going to the mall to window shop, the man has no use for that. They may try to compromise, but the same argument happens every time. When the man doesn’t want go to the mall, he is accused of not wanting to spend time doing things together. It becomes an abusive type of guilt trip designed to hurt feeling, forcing participation. On the other hand, if the man offers up a suggestion to go do something he would like to do, it becomes an instant no, and no amount of argument will persuade them to participate.

So if either of these examples sound like your situation; one, don’t go thru your life being unhappy. Two, talk about it to someone. Often a fresh ear can give you a better perspective.  If you are just going thru the motions day after day expecting things to change, don’t. Things don’t change without communication and willingness for them to change. Often dramatic life changing events have to occur before change can be for the better. Don’t be afraid to make yourself happy.

Comments

    0 of 8192 characters used
    Post Comment

    • profile image

      No Name 

      8 years ago

      As a guy I have to agree with the courts being biased against you, but I disagree with your implied advice that you can change things with the same person. It generally just doesn't work. Instead, I'd advise getting a FWB on the side to share your good times and true self with. These are the real people in your lives who accept you for you as you are. Otherwise, as a guy, getting a divorce just means you're cleaned out AND you're trying start over. Not a good place to be.

    working

    This website uses cookies

    As a user in the EEA, your approval is needed on a few things. To provide a better website experience, hubpages.com uses cookies (and other similar technologies) and may collect, process, and share personal data. Please choose which areas of our service you consent to our doing so.

    For more information on managing or withdrawing consents and how we handle data, visit our Privacy Policy at: https://hubpages.com/privacy-policy#gdpr

    Show Details
    Necessary
    HubPages Device IDThis is used to identify particular browsers or devices when the access the service, and is used for security reasons.
    LoginThis is necessary to sign in to the HubPages Service.
    Google RecaptchaThis is used to prevent bots and spam. (Privacy Policy)
    AkismetThis is used to detect comment spam. (Privacy Policy)
    HubPages Google AnalyticsThis is used to provide data on traffic to our website, all personally identifyable data is anonymized. (Privacy Policy)
    HubPages Traffic PixelThis is used to collect data on traffic to articles and other pages on our site. Unless you are signed in to a HubPages account, all personally identifiable information is anonymized.
    Amazon Web ServicesThis is a cloud services platform that we used to host our service. (Privacy Policy)
    CloudflareThis is a cloud CDN service that we use to efficiently deliver files required for our service to operate such as javascript, cascading style sheets, images, and videos. (Privacy Policy)
    Google Hosted LibrariesJavascript software libraries such as jQuery are loaded at endpoints on the googleapis.com or gstatic.com domains, for performance and efficiency reasons. (Privacy Policy)
    Features
    Google Custom SearchThis is feature allows you to search the site. (Privacy Policy)
    Google MapsSome articles have Google Maps embedded in them. (Privacy Policy)
    Google ChartsThis is used to display charts and graphs on articles and the author center. (Privacy Policy)
    Google AdSense Host APIThis service allows you to sign up for or associate a Google AdSense account with HubPages, so that you can earn money from ads on your articles. No data is shared unless you engage with this feature. (Privacy Policy)
    Google YouTubeSome articles have YouTube videos embedded in them. (Privacy Policy)
    VimeoSome articles have Vimeo videos embedded in them. (Privacy Policy)
    PaypalThis is used for a registered author who enrolls in the HubPages Earnings program and requests to be paid via PayPal. No data is shared with Paypal unless you engage with this feature. (Privacy Policy)
    Facebook LoginYou can use this to streamline signing up for, or signing in to your Hubpages account. No data is shared with Facebook unless you engage with this feature. (Privacy Policy)
    MavenThis supports the Maven widget and search functionality. (Privacy Policy)
    Marketing
    Google AdSenseThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    Google DoubleClickGoogle provides ad serving technology and runs an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    Index ExchangeThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    SovrnThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    Facebook AdsThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    Amazon Unified Ad MarketplaceThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    AppNexusThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    OpenxThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    Rubicon ProjectThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    TripleLiftThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    Say MediaWe partner with Say Media to deliver ad campaigns on our sites. (Privacy Policy)
    Remarketing PixelsWe may use remarketing pixels from advertising networks such as Google AdWords, Bing Ads, and Facebook in order to advertise the HubPages Service to people that have visited our sites.
    Conversion Tracking PixelsWe may use conversion tracking pixels from advertising networks such as Google AdWords, Bing Ads, and Facebook in order to identify when an advertisement has successfully resulted in the desired action, such as signing up for the HubPages Service or publishing an article on the HubPages Service.
    Statistics
    Author Google AnalyticsThis is used to provide traffic data and reports to the authors of articles on the HubPages Service. (Privacy Policy)
    ComscoreComScore is a media measurement and analytics company providing marketing data and analytics to enterprises, media and advertising agencies, and publishers. Non-consent will result in ComScore only processing obfuscated personal data. (Privacy Policy)
    Amazon Tracking PixelSome articles display amazon products as part of the Amazon Affiliate program, this pixel provides traffic statistics for those products (Privacy Policy)