The One Thing He Does That Tells You He Wants to Be 'The One'
Relationships are hard and technological advancement brings up new challenges every era as social media builds up expectations to a level that's impossible to achieve. But what hasn't and will never change is the fundamentals of a strong, lasting relationship, which is that, one, it's not perfect, and two, everyday you make the choice of putting both your trust and faith that the work you put in is enough to sustain it. For the sake of this article, let’s define ‘the one’ as the one person you’ve come across in your life that fulfils everything you need in a life partner. And that is exactly what your man will continuously try to achieve if he wants to be your ‘one’. So how do you know he wants things to be as successful as you do? There’s one thing he’ll do that’ll tell you that he wants to be ‘the one’ for you: he will actively and continuously work on improving himself.
Now by ‘improving himself’ I don’t mean that he changes his entire identity to suite you, but simply changes his behaviour as is necessary, such as not using up every piece of dish-ware in the kitchen and leaving you to clean it all up, or letting you know in advance that he’ll be out with the boys Friday night so that you have time to plan something on your end, thus showing that he respects you, your time, and your space. By doing these things, you’ll know its what he wants too because he is putting in the effort to understand what you need from him as your partner, this includes addressing any issues you think cause strain and paying attention to the kinds of affection you respond to.
When you bring up things he does that bother you, not only is his response a variation of ‘I’ll do better’ or ‘I’ll work on it’, but he actually follows through. And though the issues may not disappear all together, he does make the effort in order to make you happy because he doesn’t want you to go looking elsewhere. He is actively making changes that show you that he wants this relationship to work and is ready to work out all the kinks to optimize its success to build a healthy partnership with you.
Which brings us to the second sub point: he’s taken the time to understand how to love you in the way you can appreciate it. For example; I very much value quality time together and am highly appreciative of acts of service, such as knee rubs and taking my dog out for a walk. On the other hand, my partner would prefer that I show him affection through physical touch and guilt-free quality time to himself so that he can focus on all his different interests. We’ve chosen to understand each other so that we can best translate to each other that we care for one another in the ways that will be best received. Otherwise, he would be giving me a bunch of free time to myself, which would leave me feeling pretty lonely and unimportant because I wouldn’t see this as an act of love, I'd see it as a lack of interest on his part. Or if I took him to an opera show instead of a Monster Jam show. It would be like speaking Chinese to someone who only understood English; they wouldn't understand what you are trying to say and you would look silly with your large gestures and loud speaking.
All in all, if he wants to be ‘the one’ he will show you by doing his best to fulfil the qualities that you need in a partner because he knows that if he doesn't, your relationship won't work out and you will go on to find someone who will. Of course, this all applies the other way, of you to him, and can only happen if you are both open and honest with what you need from a partner.
So how are you and your SO fairing with all of this? I'd like to know your thoughts and stories, so leave a comment below!
© 2019 Emily Campana