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How to be Beautiful
How to Be Beautiful
Several years ago I wrote an article called Yes You Are...How to be Beautiful without Even Trying.The article, written for women of all ages, was created as a way to demonstrate that
1) guys can show empathy for the elaborate rituals that women endure to reflect what Western culture says is beautiful.
2) if you want to be beautiful then you need to disconnect from the 24/7 machines (namely the fashion industry, the make up and pharmaceutical industry, and the movie and music industry) that survive by making up elaborate concoctions, clothing, accessories, shoes, pills, products, and ill-conceived images of bone thin models) for your to buy and use in the name of beauty.
If I had to condense my conclusions about what it takes to be beautiful. The real secrets to not only looking and feeling beautiful, but BEING BEAUTIFUL in the truest sense, then I offer these five beauty commandments.
1. Monitor the words that come out of your mouth on a regular basis.
Few things are less enticing that a person (man or women) who regularly spews hatred, obscenities, and verbal daggers toward others. Our words are testimony to our inner thoughts and indicative of our ability to manage the torrent of emotions raging inside each of us.
It's okay to get angry or sad and to respond to external pokes of injustice. It's how you go about dealing with those emotions that reveals your real beauty. It's been said that silence in a moment of anger can save 100 days of sorrow. I say that silence in a moment of anger demonstrates a beauty and maturity that no vial of eyeliner, foundation or black dress can ever approximate.
2. Be mindful of the food, drink and substances you put into your mouth.
If you want to get to enjoy a healthy waistline and be able to enjoy life without constantly being tired, in pain or finding yourself unable to keep up then you simply must monitor what the types of food you put into your mouth. Stop eating with your emotions and figure out what your body needs to feel good and look good. Despite the thousands of diet plans on the market, the truth of it remains the same; Burn more calories than you take in daily and you'll lose weight.
Keep excessive alcohol out of your body too. It ages you fast. The same goes for cigarettes. Smoking is ugly, unhealthy and disrespectful to your own body. There is nothing even remotely attractive about puffing on a cigarette or the smell that lingers on your clothing and skin. It also proves that you're weak and easily controlled by nicotine. That is hardly beautiful.
3. Find outlets to manage your stress, anger, resentment or self loathing.
When you bottle up stress and emotions your body beings to fall apart. Your cells break down, affecting your skin tone, your hair, your nails, how you smell, your organ functions, and your emotional and mental state.
We want to avoid lashing out at people. Instead engage in things like writing, working out, yard work, various household chores, dancing, painting, boxing and most anything that channels your aggression or feelings of inadequacies into sometime productive.
Sweat out your frustrations, scream all you want while the music blares in the background. Let yourself experience the cathartic release of letting go!
4. Wear clothing that compliments your body and preserves your own integrity.
Love your body type. So what if you're short, petite, tall and hipless? So what it you've got a thicker frame than those people you see in the movies and magazine? The key is to dress right for your body-type.
Those skinny jeans (when you're not skinny) probably send the wrong message! The pants that make the extra cushioning on your sides stick out are a bad idea too.
You don't need to dress like a slut or like a nun to be beautiful. Experiment with simple fashions that YOU LIKE and that let you express your diversity (and ever changing moods). Instead of revealing all of you, practice some restraint and leave some to the imagination.
Visit Goodwill or the Salvation Army to give away those clothes that are now too big or too small. Get yourself a good tailor or seamstress to help you deal with the weight fluctuations we all go through.
5. Be good to yourself and to others.
Kindness IS beauty. Making a habit of being good to yourself sets an expectation that you expect others to be good to you also. I think that finding small ways to appreciate others creates an observable halo of energy around you that makes you rather irresistible! You become a magnet and attract like minded people into your life. People who appreciate you and are capable meeting your needs too.
Name one thing more beautiful than a person who likes themselves in a healthy way. There is strength in kindness and self-discipline too. That strength makes you attractive in ways that will always confound the beauty industry.
So there you have it. Practice these 5 "commandments" and you'll master the art of being beautiful. Sometimes we over complicate things. Keep it simple and keep moving forward.
Brian writes and speaks on living passionately. He's helped men and women on every continent to enjoy life more and to appreciate the gifts they already have. He is the author of Escape Life Sucks Syndrome.