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Two Points of View in Divorce Advice: Men VS Women. You BOTH Got It Wrong.

Updated on June 2, 2017

A Woman's Point of View After Divorce

The stress my female clients go through learning how to divorce is astronomical. Without a doubt, some of the most complicated thought processes have the female mind bent out of shape and it is causing them no end of stress.

If only men would LISTEN!!! No, women do not need you to offer a solution. They just want to talk and be heard. The more solutions you offer, the more twisted their minds become.

And here is one thing they want men to hear as some great divorce advice:

For the children they incubated, gave birth to, and so wrecking their bodies to no end in the process, will you love them when they are older and less wild? Will you love them at their worst?

In a world where a woman's beauty is seen as more important than her brains, regardless of the work done by the feminist movement, how will they ever win when their man will most likely end up with an asian or eastern European woman half his age?

You win men! Life after divorce will be amazing for you!

Did you know that 75% of all divorces are initiated by the women?

They just don't want their man any more! They are over the slobber, the dutch ovens, the slow decline of your health because you are too lazy to hit the gym. They are tired of seeing you look at younger women like a dirty, old pervert, while they desperately try to keep the children under control.

And then when you come home from your job, that you may not want to come home to, the woman has not left the house. It is a prison! As men, you complain that women just "Sit at home on their fat asses watching Oprah." But where do you want women to go?? Have you seen how hard it is to find a job when you haven't been working for years because you have been raising children? Have you seen how difficult it is for a woman to find work when her work hours are limited to MAYBE 4 hours a day during Daycare or school? It is no wonder there are law firms popping up all dedicated to educating the population on how to divorce.

And then, you complain that we have no money or that a woman is taking all of your money. That money you earn, is shared income. You bought into this life and there are ongoing costs that will NEVER disappear.

And then, a woman cannot take your resentment and guilt anymore, that you work so hard and are never appreciated, while at the same time see you flirt with much younger women because magazine's and Internet porn have trained you to adore youthful beauty, which you now crave.

They know that honeymoon period is over. There is no way you look at her the same way you did when you first met. And her body has completely blown out of proportion because those nine months and subsequent child birth and several years of breast feeding have taken a massive toll on this 'beauty' you so admire. Now they are seeking a divorce lawyer on how to divorce because there is no turning back.

Meanwhile, just as you think your wife looks like an old cow, they see your hair thinning out, gut expanding from the beer you drink with your friends as you complain about how little sex you get at home and you begin to make them feel sick with your own appearance.

Oh how they visioned life so differently. They visioned a life of travel and adventure. Of being able to flutter like a woman, take photos of gorgeous locations, eat at unique restaurants, taste the fresh air of the beaches and just be in silence with you, in the romantic moment. They did not vision seeking divorce advice and living life alone.

But here you are, a balding behemoth who never bothered to start that business, regardless of her objections, who she caught masturbating multiple times to internet porn, with your browning teeth from smoking, drinking Coke or drinking excessive alcohol.

And they get it. You are not happy! You want a divorce!

And then comes the day of the divorce. She cannot take another day being reminded of the dead fantasy life, of that lie she was told during the vows of your wedding, when life seemed so abundant.

As she learns how to divorce, she realises that finding a job after so many years of not working will be next to impossible. You will be fine. You will have no problems getting a new job. She has the kids to take care of and she needs a place to live.

Knowing that you will most probably find a Thai bride half her age in just a few years, she files for the divorce anyway and insists that the assets you built together, must go to her as she protects herself, and her children.

The promises that you made were a lie.

You promised to love her. You promised to be a great man. And now you are weak and feeble. Yes, she knows some of it is her fault. But for all that she has done, she has felt neglected for far too long and she is OUT OF THERE!!

Dried up and bitter that she left you, she wonders when you will look in the mirror and notice the disheveled man you have become.

She feels that a life of being single forever is better than even one more day with the man who promised the world but could not even deliver Tasmania. At her depths, she feels sickened she wasted so many years.

Now that she is single, she finds fault with each and every man. No matter how she has aged, she refuses to lower herself to a standard that she felt you had lowered to and she will not take what is on offer.

And so, being a woman who has lived a life of boring sex, and heading to menopause, the value of sex has lost some of its appeal. It is not so important. But love is. She is searching now for companionship. Should she meet another man, lucky her, because she knows older men love younger women. Well her children love her and with her lessons learned, she is learning to love herself again after divorce, in a way she never did before.

But those much younger women will leave you too. She knows that. They will never love you as she once did, before she felt poisoned by the experience. It's not your looks they will love, or your glowing personality. It is the financial security you will be able to provide. You may find what you think is love, but your time has come and gone too. But she will no longer be a victim of neglect. Life is far too short to live for somebody who does not love her deeply.

It is why she has be screaming at you for so long...because you failed to LISTEN.


A Man's Point of View After Divorce

Some of the most raw how to divorce advice available.

Straight up, I am first and foremost a coach to my ever expanding base of clientele, most of whom are men. I am what you call a social strategy coach and my role is to assist my clients to reach greater heights in life, to get all that they yearn for and deserve.

Over the years something has become truly apparent and it is quite scary. Before I dig deeper, I want to first ask you, in your field of expertise, would you say that you know more about that topic than the average punter? probably, right? Most definitely? So what if your role every day is to solve social problems effectively for people who had years of built up frustration, fear of rejection and low self worth due to years of neglect, emasculation and perceived bullying by society and feminist culture? And why if, as a coach, you had spent a SIGNIFICANT amount of time finding solutions for these clients and that each and every time you took on a client, the solutions you provided to that client, proved successful, EVERY SINGLE TIME??

What if, from greatly developing your self and proving consistent success in your own life because you had control over your own confidence, self worth, career, attraction abilities, social opportunities, romance and health, and you wrote a complete manual over several years that could easily be taught as a recipe to clients who come to you for help. Do you believe that you may be some kind of authority that can identify where a problem really exists and not just offer band aid solutions?

What if you realised, after coaching so many clients on how to be confident with the opposite sex, you noticed again and again, the same problems consistently and these clients, for years had believed it was something THEY were doing and it was something wrong with THEM that was not only the biggest issue, but they were responsible for all the damage they were doing to themselves in life? But then, as the patterns emerged and the issues you saw amongst all of your male clients spread as an epidemic, it became abundantly clear that surely it could not be them, but there was something deeply wrong with the system of this generation that was the cause of all of this pain?

What if, after coaching all of these clients to success, they came to you and said, "I am confident, strong, driven, fit, attractive and open, but no matter what I try, no matter how hard I try, everything is way too difficult and once I get what I want I am soon realising that for all the effort I put in, it was not worth the time invested. Now that I have found a woman, she always nags me, drags me down, always wants to start dumb arguments and I am always trying to keep her happy. I am always paying for dates, dinner and movies. I cover most of our bills and she is not treating me like a prince the way I treat her like a princess. On top of that, she is now gaining weight and I cannot bring up the topic, the sex is rare and when it happens it is crap and it feels like a chore. I feel like I am constantly being used up and drained. She is jealous and complicated. Why the hell did I want this for myself? Why did I want a long term relationship?"

Well, it is time to reassess the situation, based upon coaching both men and women and address a fact that that should scare the crap out of western women.

Now, for women into their late 20's, you will feel that this advice is not for you. And to that I say that right now, you have the world at your feet, MAYBE for the next few years. But for women now into their 40's, you may now be beginning to understand what I will drive home.

And so, for those who feel untouchable, that what I will be talking about is perhaps crude and sexist, please just pause and reflect.

Men are not happy. So few men I know are happy with western women in western culture unless she is in college. So few men I know, and I know many, want to stick around. They look at western women and believe you make it way too difficult to win your attention and if they happen to win it, they feel that what they won is something extremely painful and emasculating.

Each man I know is looking for an escape. Maybe you feel the same. But commonly, my female clients will tell me that there are no good men around anymore and none of them realise that many of the good men are now either completely dead inside because you killed them slowly with dumb games when you were young, followed by years of emasculating feminist abuse and judgment, or they have now found love abroad.

That's right ladies! Your men are going away! Over the next 20 years or more you can expect an influx of Eastern European and Asian brides who are taking your men and making them feel alive, happy and treating them like kings. And those women who are now taking all of the good men are being well taken care of. Why? Because the men, while still perhaps paying for most of those life bills,are getting all that they have ever dreamed of. They feel loved, cherished and listened to. They do not feel spoken down to, emasculated and are no longer giving up their masculinity to women who wish to push them down using feminism manipulation.

We are going away!

And where are we going? Well, firstly, there is a haven for men to run wild and it is called Thailand . It is the land of the smiles. Whenever I see a man walking through certain parts of Thailand, with his long term western woman on his arm, I cry inside. as their women tear down the Thai women in her mans eyes as simply cheap prostitutes, and he watches on as young, handsome, fit, single males run a mock with some of the worlds most beautiful women. These single men have formed a bond with each other and are addicted to the Thailand lifestyle. Meanwhile this man with his naggy feminist on his arm drags himself around, half dead as she whinges and whines that "this place is just full of prostitutes. God the men here are just awful. These women shouldn't be subjected to being sexualised. It's discusting to see all these men just using these beautiful, young Thai women." Nag, nag, nag. Bleet, bleet, bleet. Day after day. Week after week.

This man wants to escape. He was sold a lie, that a western woman was the best woman. That getting married and settling down was the path to happiness. Well, it wasn't.

Forced to work a life draining job, and come home to an insane human who nags judges, makes a man want to neck himself.

But time has come for men to live a new youth in the land of smiles and of eastern European ladies. You cannot take your money with you when you die. But when you spend it on pursuits that give you relief to the years of being married to an angry, repressing woman, it is money well spent.

How Single, Young Women Feel Around DIrty Old Perverts

So, where do we go after divorce? For Men

It has been said to me that when men describe how they want stability in their lives, they are looking for a stable financial income and when when women describe they want stability, they want to find a stable man with a stable income.

Now, in general, this is true. A much larger percentage of the female population will find a new man much quicker than her ex will find a new woman. Specifically, you may have a different story to tell. But in general, this rule works.

And so saying, with good intentioned divorce advice, there are some places men can go to find the adventure they seek. But keep in mind you will need to pay for it:

- Thailand

- Philippines

- Vietnam

- Laos

- Romania

- Ukraine

- Countryside Russia

Yes, for the women reading this, you will notice one thing. The women in these countries are hard up against it. The men who are sick of western women, seeking how to divorce, mostly go to much poorer countries because whoever that man is, even if he is flat broke, generally has more money than the women in these countries have ever seen.

So, instead of lifting your game and fighting for women who have their careers in check, are ultra-intelligent, sassy, graceful, feminine and already have money, these western men will low ball. Of course, I am not saying that women in these third world countries are not amazing. Many of them are. My point is that if men THINK that these women love you for who you are, you are wrong. If you thin they want you old and angry, think again.

Just like any woman, they would love you fit, health, confident and financially stable. But because they are so hard up against it in life, you are the best option in their miserable existence. They are in fact low balling you.

Do you think that is a great way to be loved? Did you read any divorce advice on this subject so raw?

However, for those men who do hit the gym (I highly recommend it), have their own online businesses, who are confident, fit and healthy, when you have the CHOICE of women, western, eastern or asian and you CHOOSE a woman of a third world country, then and only then can you say there is something wrong with the women in your own country.

When a man has a choice and still feels that no matter good he is, that the women around him are worthless to him because of bad attitudes, bad language, bad habits and masculine nature, it is a time to reflect on society as a while and wish that man well in his life after divorce.


The single or married life

Which Way To You Sway? The Single Life, Married Life or the noncommittal life

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Be a Smarter Woman. Life Is Too Short To Be Married To the Wrong Man

Where do we go after divorce? For women

Life after divorce is a sweet deal for the smart woman.

Each and every year the smart woman is off galavanting around the world for several months at a time. Women are great money savers (Generalising again) and the pretty ones have a great advantage in that wealthier men will pay of their time. One tip of great divorce advice, youthfulness does not necessarily equate to your age. Men love youthfulness, even if you are much older.

But if you are the average Jane, you must work hard for the things you want. Stuck with the kids now, there is no escape. Your ex doesn't have as much access to the children and as the trade off, it seems he is getting the opportunity to see this world.

Thank goodness for grandparents!

Let's put it out there...you don't actually NEED men now after divorce. But men need sex with women. Perhaps you get those feelings that you want it and I am sure if you put enough effort in, you could get it. But life is much more about the breeze. It is more about those little moments to savor.

Whlearning how to divorve,, women will learn all about singles cruises. Men have Thailand and southeast asia in general. But these singles cruises are a guaranteed sure thing for yearning women. A 7 day Bahamas cruise or around Vanuatu will keep you high in your spirits. It takes just 7 days to turn your life around.

Most cruises will set you back $1000 so who cares??

The nightlife is just phenomenal and the available men are abundant.

There is love for most women who are willing to pursue it on a cruise ship.

Ahhh.... just GO!!!!

When you are sad about being single, grab these movies and you will cheer up

Wedding Crasher
Bridget Jones Diary
Love Actually
The Terminator
Shallow Hal
Fatal Attraction
500 Days of Summer
American Beauty
Not Without My Daughter
Thalma & Louise
Fight Club
Blue Valentine

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    • SolveMyMaze profile image

      SolveMyMaze 3 years ago

      Excellent, and well thought out hub.

      I had a thought that more women initiated divorce proceedings when compared to men, but I didn't realise it was 75% and 25% respectfully.

      You've hit the nail on the head though for one of the things in the run up to a divorce whereby your wife simply wasn't listened to and so it creates a cascade effect.

      Oh, and I'm not surprised to see the inclusion of Russia and Thailand in this Hub. As you said, men from the West are pretty much guaranteed to land on their feet in either of these countries.

    • Greg Dean profile image
      Author

      Greg Dean 3 years ago

      Hi Jay,

      Thanks for sharing your thoughts and being honest. As I believe, it is media and a minority agenda that makes people believe they are owed something they are not entitled to. But I see people learn this all the time, seemingly too late.

      And that is the world of Samsara. It just goes around and around and around.

      I kept this piece very even. I see how lazy men can get. The only people I would listen to are those men and women who had tried everything to develop themselves to be the perfect person who still find it impossible and who still are badly judged,.

    • Jay Jhonson profile image

      Jay Jhonson 3 years ago

      wow this was an extremely interesting read. I'm a woman/Caribbean Brit and having lived outside of the uk for a long time i get where your coming. I Had to lose the one person I've wanted more then almost anything else in the world to really take a good long look at my behaviour, attitude and way of thinking before finally 'getting it'.

      It takes so much inner growth that only experience and a genuine need and want to do better, can cause a person to reflect...see beyond the surface of 'the truth hurts' and see how this applies to any woman of any culture , country, background ect..

      Thanks Greg. Hearing this still hurts me a lot. I wish it wasn't true. I'm ashamed of it, yet there u have it. My brother is adamant about marrying an Asian and it angers me, not that he wants to but because he's so against western women. Yet gosh being guilty of some of the things quoted here like 'games' I can't help but acknowledge that there's unfortunate truth to a lot that you've said.

      Many of us with effed up mind sets need to be re-educated. Period.

      The whole 'feminism movement' was put in place TO break families and cause chaos which it's doing. Mission accomplished. We need to take back our knowledge and throw away the lessons that have taught us to hurt others, be selfish and only concerned with our own well being and peace of mind. That goes for men too.

      Jay