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What Is Love ? The Love and Sex Issue.

Updated on June 14, 2015

Love Sex And You

While I was working on my blog , I received a call ,oh! That's my friend . Usually friends call me when they have some issues with their partner . oh no , I am not a "love guru" but yes I think I am able to understand their problems to its core . Even you can . Wondering How ? That's because almost all the relationship problems have a common origin and now you are guessing "What's that?" (of course i will tell you ) so to start with , as every subject has its own basics and some important concepts , say mathematics have basic as numbers , concept as addition , subtraction etc etc . Love has its own Basics and Concepts . To begin with , lets see how many of you can answer my questions correctly .

  1. What is love?
  2. Which part of our body is associated with love ?
  3. What is sex?
  4. Difference between love and sex?

Now you must be thinking "oh god it looks like my biology paper " True but That's the basic of ones being . Anyway without wasting your time further I would like to start with the answers .

Love in simple words is a feeling , an emotion , something which can be experienced , so can I say , it's a psychological process .Yes, I can . If you think love is beautiful I would say stop you are not yet ready to fall in love , because love is not beautiful , Its Beautifully Painful. Your assumptions are not correct . What made you make these assumptions ? oh movies ...but its not always the way it is shown in movies . Do not compare your relationship with movie romance and your partner with romantic hero's . If you are really comparing your partner to romantic hero's then I would suggest , First compare yourself to romantic heroine's . Movies are for entertainment and its money making business but not life . Life is mix bag of happiness , sadness etc . and not just good stuff . Life is not money making business , Yes we do need money , we work hard to earn money but that's not the only aim of life , so life is not business . Movies always have a happy endings , I am not saying that happy endings exist only in movies , Yes happy endings do exist in real life too but not for all , and not so happy . Love is not always happy or positive , it is a mix of everything , where there is a positive there is a negative too and negatives make the positive . It does not matter how positive or negative it is , till you are experiencing it together .

From the time we are born everybody has been telling us that love is associated with heart and it hurts when people break apart . So this means if I would have told you that love is associated with your nose , after breakup you would have said" You cheat I hate you You Broke My nose" . Funny right so lets face it ,The Mind is the center of Our Body and Therefore is directly associated with love and not mind . So the point is Think Before You Fall In Love even while you are in love . Do not lose your thought process and let go . Think on things . Save yourself from being cheated .

Sex is something physical , not just pleasure but pain too . So we can say its a biological process. A Humanistic Psychologist , Abraham Maslow gave "The Hierarchy Of Need" which states that , the Basic Needs are Physiological needs , i.e , hunger , thirst , sex etc . So this means sex is a need , just like food and water . Of course at a particular age and time , its not like hunger and thirst which is present even in the infants or from the time we are born but its a biological need of our body at a particular age . I do not mean that go around have sex and call your girlfriend /boyfriend and ask" Hey Baby, Did you have your sex today?" rather than "Hey Baby, Did you have your lunch today?" . Again not always believe in what movies show , its not only pleasure but pain too . Actually it depends on the answer to the question "with whom?" Lovers 'make love' and while making love , love is being spread everywhere , flowing in the air and even between two people and so pleasure takes over pain . When its with someone else with no strings attached its 'having sex' and so the pain takes over pleasure .

Most of the love issues arise because we are not able to distinguish between love and sex . I hope its clear by now , but still lets see the differences . People use the words 'love' and 'sex' interchangeably . They are two different concepts and need to be kept separate . Let's face it , Sex can be a market , product or service which can be bought or sold but not love . Sex can be a business but not love . They are different concepts with high correlation . Which means If I love someone I would want to have sex with him / her and no one else , but then this does not mean that if your boy / girl had sex with someone else , you fire them . Damn , understand there is a difference between ' making love' and 'having sex' . Try to ask yourself, What went wrong and Where ? , What made him / her go out and do such stuff ? Again , I am not supporting sex outside relationship but I am just telling you that , when we clap its the motion of two hands and not just one . So go fight , Ask questions and If you get a satisfactory justification , Learn from it and Try to not let it happen again rather than just going with the crowds , blaming each other and finally ending on bad note .Trust each other . Try to find the answer to your "Why?"

ADVICE'S:

  1. Do not compare your relationship with movies .
  2. Do not listen to what others say about your relationship . Its your relationship , You are living it and So you know it better .
  3. No two love stories can be same so don't ever learn from others experience . Make your own mistakes and learn from them .
  4. Laugh together , fight with each other , ask questions , give answers but always Trust each other .
  5. Breaking up is never a solution . Cowards run away but lovers face it , together .

Love And Sex

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    • dashingscorpio profile image

      dashingscorpio 

      2 years ago

      "Think Before You Fall In Love even while you are in love . Do not lose your thought process and let go." - Excellent advice.

      I often tell people: (Never separate your mind from your heart when making relationship decisions. The purpose of the mind is to protect the heart. ) Ignoring "red flags" by following your heart leads to heartache.

      You also said: Breaking up is never a solution.

      I'd have to disagree with that one! Human beings make mistakes that sometimes includes (choosing the wrong mate) for themselves.

      Truth be told when it comes to love and relationships most of us (fail our way) to success. If this were not the case we'd all be married to our high school sweethearts!

      The reality is during our youth most of us had not done any real introspective thinking to figure out who (we) are let alone what we want and need in a mate for life. This often causes us to allow "impulsive connections" and "happenstance" to dictate our relationship choices.

      It's the equivalent of going shopping without a list!

      Every person with a healthy self-esteem will also have "deal breakers" or boundaries. Oftentimes a breakup is the result of someone crossing an individual's line. Some people list (cheating, verbal/physical abuse, alcohol/drug addiction, constant arguing, acts of violent temper, physical/emotional neglect) as indicators of being in a "toxic relationship". Everyone is entitled to have their own "deal breakers".

      "Never love anyone who treats you like you're ordinary."

      - Oscar Wilde

      Staying together for the wrong reasons is just as bad as choosing the wrong mate. If one of you has to make a change to your (core being) in order to make the relationship "work" it means you've chosen the wrong mate for yourselves! The goal is to find someone that already (is) the kind of person you want to be with!

      “Some people think that it’s holding on that makes one strong; sometimes it’s letting go.” — unknown

    • profile image

      Jennifer joel 

      3 years ago

      It forced me to rethink on my defination of love. Surely something different...superlike..

    • profile image

      Swati Sihag 

      3 years ago

      INTERESTING ...i enjoyed reading it. it is something new and diiferent and it is always good to read something which makes sense. good job...thanx for sharing..

    • profile image

      Meena bindal 

      3 years ago

      Helpful...thank you.

    • profile image

      sanjeev tayal 

      3 years ago

      something different.. i like it...

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