- Gender and Relationships»
- Romantic Intimacy
Does it exist?
Does true love exist? This is a question that has been burning inside my head for thirty five years. Living in a home with parents who constantly yelled at each other made me feel that I needed to find true love—one that I saw in the earlier Disney stories—such as Snow White and Cinderella. It could have happened, I could have been the saver of a guy instead of him saving me. However, through my own discovery, I didn’t save the guy or had the Disney fairytale ending, I was manipulated at a young age to have intimacy with a cook in the backseat of his car.
Sad to say since that past incident, I found myself in a place with men who firmly believed in their manhood, than having a decent conversation. Most of them had told me, “Just look pretty.” My favorite comment was, “Grow up,” just because I stated an opinion they didn’t like. Or they bluntly made fun of me in public by using gestures to friends.
These words were like a tornado as they plow through me head…Just look pretty….Grow up… Hmm…. Is that what my life had become? Men who only saw me as a trophy? So I began to wonder… how is a relationship supposed to work when the guy has one thing on his mind and could careless with what you are saying?
My mother always told me, “Love is easy, relationships are hard.”
But to what extent?
Talk about being messed up in the head. Years later, having two remarkable kids, one with Autism, my love for them grew stronger, but something was still missing. Going to the park with my children and watching they climbed on the monkey bar, my eyes managed to wander to young couples in love. I realized, nothing could fully mend this broken heart.
The question stirred into my mind, again. “If everyone has a chance for true love, than why does it exist for only the lucky few? Are we to believe that there is only one person for everyone?”
Now, forty and still no real answer in regards to true love, it’s time for me to research the strongest element known to man, love. As an author what better way to get different answers is to hit the circuit on Social Media. I asked friends, family and with the help of T and G, I was able to ask the followers of Indie Author and Book Blogs the simple question— does true love exist?
“It exists for everyone if they are open enough to see it in one lifetime or the next”— Malee Noelle
“True love is falling in love with the same person everyday for the rest of your lives... when two separate, imperfect people make one perfect entity”—Sarah Howarth
“I think true love exists. I also think there are different forms of it. Parents have true love for their children and vise versa. I also think true love for a significant other exists although it is very hard to find. I hope I never feel that it doesn't because I hold onto the hope of finding it someday. It is hard to keep believing at times with the relationships that I have had, as I am sure it is the same for many others that have been hurt. But there has to be someone that can love unconditionally and truly.”
—Ronnie H. Lee
Other responses are: True love exists but you have to work for it or it’s different for everyone— the love of a family or friends vs. Romantic love that everyone has craved for in the past. I hate to say this, but there are those like me who are lost when it comes to this emotion, for either we never have come across it or had bad experiences in the past—there for we question it or start to believe that it’s a fantasy we were taught at a very young age to believe in.
However, with all these responses I have acquired, I have decided to learn more about this game of love and what better way to find information—plunging into the books and explore the net to find out more about true love. (https://www.facebook.com/pages/Indie-Authors-Book-Blogs)
True love-Soulmate Principle
Plato had an interesting take with love, he firmly believed that we as human beings were connected to each other---forming one body with four arms and four legs. Oh, by the way, they also have one head and two faces.(https://en.wikipedia.org. Homer, Odyssey)
These creatures were known as Androgynous— however to keep things in order and to make sure the Androgynous won’t try to retaliate, Zeus zapped them with a lightning bolt, splitting the creatures into half—creating man and a woman. Well that tricky Zeus separated them throughout the countries. For centuries these creatures have been looking for their other half to become whole once more. (https://en.wikipedia.org. Homer, Odyssey)
No offence to Plato, but being attached to the hip of guy for a life time is not really my cup of tea.
The more I dig the more responses I am able to get. For instance, psychologists have a different view point about the spiritual origin. There are beliefs in the psychology world that our bodies are bound to the earth, therefore, our soul seeks our spirit – which is full with desire, passion and freedom. The spirit is a particular person who can release our hold from the earth. (https://www.psychologytoday.com/blog/the-attraction-doctor/201207/why-you-shouldnt-believe-in-soul-mates)
Like the devil’s advocate, other psychologists believe that soul mates are only in fairy tales or movies. A hopeless romantic can go as far as believing in the power of the soulmate, therefore, she or he will never leave the person—even if it’s an unhealthy relationship with some sort of abuse that is in the mix (whether it’s physical, controlling, or mental). These therapists firmly acknowledges that believing in such nonsense could only harm one’s mentality. (https://www.psychologytoday.com/blog/the-attraction-doctor/201207/why-you-shouldnt-believe-in-soul-mates)
It’s an interesting point of view, however, there have been couples who love and respect each other, and their only arguments are what movie they want to see. These are the people who have said it was one look or a touch of the hand that made their heart stop, their stomach had butters flies flutter, and what felt like an electric surge running through their veins—or a common word for it is magic. Not mention the fact that they have felt like they’ve known each other for centuries, not years. This connection and affection can’t be described or analyzed, it is a spiritual gift that some have a chance to experience.
Which brings me to the most intriguing article I have read from Dr. Kheng Khoo—soulmates versus the twin soul (flame). Like shooting comets, energies have fallen from the night sky, separating into the earth’s atmosphere—creating spirits which are known to us as soulmates. Out of all these mates that have entered the earth, there is only one who is a twin soul—this soul holds the flame to one’s heart and also is known as our true love.(http://www.kktanhp.com/twin_souls.htm)
As known, soul mates are those from your past life, it could be a friend, sister or brother, or companion. Our soulmates who have been our Lovers in the past, will pop up in one lifetime to the next, to finish what has been started—which is why a person would be instantly attracted to the other—the sense of safety and familiarity brings the two together. (http://www.kktanhp.com/twin_souls.htm)
Why do I bring up such a romantic point of view? It is one of the most important lessons we all will learn. The lesson of unconditional love and in order to find this love, we have to learn to love ourselves, forgiving the haters, the people who have hurt us in the past, being grateful for what we have—once our spirits have accomplished this lesson— our twin soul will enter our life.
It will be a bond like no other— having that passion and love, without touching one and other. Twin souls are able to feel what the other is going through and have similar experiences that the other has had. If one soul has a relationship that is on the rocks, the other twin will have the same issue or will help their loved one through the ordeal without causing ruckus in the twin’s relationship. They will never hurt each other emotionally or physically, yes there will be arguments (hey they are in fact human) but it’s easy for them to resolve it. (http://www.kktanhp.com/twin_souls.htm)
Here’s the kicker, there is only a small handful of people that have found their twin souls and are able to have that happily ever after. Yet, Life as a habit of playing serendipity. Another words, people may have seen their twin soul and not notice it until it’s too late. Reason, all the Romeos and Mrs. Robinsons out there like to trick those who are lonely or lost into thinking they are the perfect match— low and behold, the emotional and physical abuse comes into play.(http://www.kktanhp.com/twin_souls.htm)
My take on this, I believe that there is unconditional love, it exists in many ways, from the love of parents, family and friends, to that one soul to ignite the flame inside our hearts.
We have many soul mates out there, but, only one twin soul.