- Gender and Relationships»
- Relationship Problems & Advice
Til death do us part... Those are the five very simple words we use when embarking upon new beginnings. Sometimes that is quite literal and other times it is a fleeting thought of the moment until we don't.
For those of you who look at abused women and ask "Why doesn't she just leave?", the following will enlighten you just a bit. My story is much longer than this blurb, and so much more than just a snippet. When you're done reading this, I will still be trying to get through this and a multitude of other things this man has dealt me, along with everything else he comes up with from today on. It won't end, and even though I left, he will still terrorize me and attempt to abuse me; maybe not physically, but anyway he can.
Seven years ago I decided that it was time to undo those vows, because it was coming close to being quite literal; and not because we had grown old and gray together. Because he had become physically abusive and my children were starting to act out.
Fast forward to today, I am still trying to escape him. I am still in hiding after exchanges and fearful; although less so than when I first left.
This is where DV gets sticky and no one really wants to be involved. Not to mention that your abuser has likely already taken you out of the normal day to day situations and alienated everyone from your life. Begun to make you feel like you are alone and worthless, that no one will be there anyhow. I know that I still have days that I have to wonder " Is it me or him who is insane? One of us has to be."
Tonight the kids went back to him. I took the car to the police station and had no one with me. He didn't bring his girlfriend, I think he's now figured out the schedule of when my significant other works. I let the kids out and pulled out of the drive. He followed and I made a quick left instead of going up the street to my house, he followed, I again made another left. This time he didn't follow, he knew I was baiting him.
He only does these things, apparently when he knows that I am alone or he presumes so. I used to believe that the police would do something, that they could do something. Nope, they do nothing. Now in particular everyone has grown weary of this case, I know most of the officers by name. Many have left, I will assume it is because they get very little backing. Our D.A. fails our community frequently, letting abusers get away with things that shouldn't be allowed by law.
I am not looking for sympathy, I am not looking for anything, other than for you to change how you deal with thoughts of Domestic Violence. To give you a glimmer of understanding of what domestic violence really is and that it isn't as simple as "just leaving".