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Thinking of Cheating? 3 Rock Solid Principles to Affair-Proof Your Marriage (Christian Based)

Updated on December 5, 2019
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My parents divorced when we were kids due to infidelity. It caused major disruption in our lives. 25 years later the scars are still there.

If you're thinking of cheating two words instill fear

Two words that could save you, your life they could spare

Like the rattlesnake's rattle they signal beware,

Ignore their clear warning, you'll regret it, I swear

(I Swear by Greg Carl)

Two Words That Could Save Your Marriage

It is said that approximately 15% of women have cheated on their spouses while 25% of men have done the same. Phrased differently, 85% of women and 75% of men have remained faithful to their spouses.

While no one wants to have a spouse who's unfaithful, it's encouraging to know that the majority of spouses remain true. So, if you're thinking of straying just be mindful that most spouses don't go there.

But here's a thought. Is it possible that two little words could be responsible for keeping so many marriages in check?

Have they kept you in check up to this point?

What two words do I mean?

"What if?"

I believe (just my opinion) that these two words have saved countless marriages. And, if you're a spouse who's thinking of cheating these two words could be the saving grace for your marriage too.

Here are some examples: What if I get caught? What if I lose my job? What if my spouse finds out? What if I get pregnant? What if I get an STD? What if...

Sound familiar?

They help you understand that the risk involved in making such a decision (to cheat) would have far-reaching consequences. However, many who ignored the warnings have suffered irreparable damage to their marriages and family.

Common Problem when You're Consider Cheating

In many cases a spouse with thoughts of cheating is usually under a lot of pressure.

That's because there are many conflicting thoughts going through the mind.

As a consequence, you'll find that you feel uneasy, frantic and stressed most of the time. It's almost as if there's an internal struggle that's constantly taking place.

Well of course there is a struggle taking place and here's why...

Every fiber in you is screaming that it's wrong. You know the decision could cause humiliation but you keep fighting it anyway. Your God-given conscience is trying to prevent you from making a life-altering decision that will likely result in serious consequences.

There's also another key problem.....

Looking to Justify Your Actions

Another common problem that pops up when you're considering cheating is that you'll look for reasons to justify why you should cheat.

Reasons such as:

  • My husband doesn't give me enough attention
  • I hardly have any sex
  • Sex is boring
  • I don't love him anymore
  • He never buys me flowers
  • He cheated on me before and I forgave him
  • I hate my marriage

Here's the thing, you'll always find a reason to cheat even if it means you have to make one up. Even if you could find a 'justifiable' reason to cheat on your spouse it still doesn't give you the right to cheat.

The temptation to cheat is like a powerful drug that clouds your thinking and judgement.

If you're thinking of cheating you'll constantly be a nervous wreck. The problems associated with cheating are enormous and the consequences are grave. One simple act of infidelity, just one, is enough to sever an entire family and uproot lives for good.

How to Stay Faithful To Your Spouse

So, how do you stay faithful to your spouse?

How do you yank yourself back when everything else has failed and you're only moments away from taking the plunge?

There are 3 rock-solid principles that once adhered to, will almost guarantee that you'll always remain faithful to your spouse.

These principles will allow you to dismiss those scandalous thoughts with ease.

Principle #1 - Honor God First

If anything being built is going to last, starting with the right foundation is crucial. And, once that foundation is solidly in place it'll be able to withstand almost anything.

Likewise, if your marriage is going to withstand the tests that WILL come, it has to start on the right footing. That footing, my friend is honoring and acknowledging God FIRST in your marriage.

Even if you've been seriously thinking about cheating on your spouse for whatever reason it's not too late to start here by honoring God.

How do you honor God in your marriage?

To honor means to place a high value on something. To honor God in your marriage means to place a high value on what God says about marriage.

In (Malachi 2:16) God says he hates divorce and one of the main causes of divorce is infidelity.

In fact here are a few scriptures about what God says about marriage:

  • Heb. 13:4 Marriage should be honored by all, and the marriage bed kept pure, for God will judge the adulterer and all the sexually immoral
  • Mark 10:9 What therefore God has joined together, let not man separate.
  • Col. 3:18-19 Wives, submit to your husbands, as is fitting in the Lord.Husbands, love your wives, and do not be harsh with them

If you place a high value on what God says you'll find it easy to resist the temptation to cheat. That is, you'll be honoring God in your marriage.

Principle #2 - Honor Your Vows

When you walked up the aisle on your wedding day, you made a commitment to each other that only death would separate you right? You also made those vows before God and others to remain faithful to each other... correct?

So, what has changed? While it may be tempting to blame your spouse, you should understand and accept that you too have equal responsibility for the vows you made. And, it doesn't matter what your spouse is doing or has done, you need to keep your end of the bargain. Unfair? maybe, but life isn't fair is it?

Instead of dwelling on cheating on your spouse, dwell on the vows you made on your wedding day and honor them. In all likelihood you were sober and in love

Remember what we said honor means? It means to place a high value on something or someone.

Take time remind yourself. If you had your vows written out, then go get them, dust them off and start reading. If you don't have any, then write out new ones, keep them somewhere safe and read them daily/weekly.

It may be difficult at first, but keep at it for a few months. I promise that you'll experience a transformational change in your life and in your attitude toward your spouse.

Principle #3 - Honor Your Spouse

By now you should know the meaning of honor. If you don't, just pop back to principle #1 and you'll get the definition there.

Now, what does it mean to honor your spouse?

Honoring your spouse is a combination or culmination of principles #1 and #2. That is, you take what God says in addition to the vows you made on your wedding day to honor your spouse.

Let me explain: The Bible says that adultery (cheating on your spouse) is sin. And, in your vows you pledged to give yourself only to your spouse, meaning, you'll be intimate only with your spouse. Hence, the act of obeying what God says and also staying true to what you said in your vows is honoring your spouse and your marriage.

Of course this is in the context of being faithful to your spouse, but can also be applied to all aspects of your christian life.

To recap:

  1. Spend time reading the Bible to find out what God says about marriage,adultery etc
  2. Read and remind yourself of the vows you made daily/weekly.
  3. Combine steps 1 and 2 to honor your spouse

When adhered to you'll have a rock-solid, affair-proof marriage.

Final Thoughts & Encouragement

Remember this: A few moments of pleasure is not worth the pain that will inevitably follow. Understand that pleasure is fleeting and it won't last forever. So, like an addict you'll keep returning for more and more until, one day you'll find it's too late.

My friend, be reminded that you're worth much much more than that. You're too precious in God's eyes to throw away what He has given you for a futile fling. You are royalty (1 Peter 2:9)

The lightning speed at which even our most basic morals are declining would suggest that it's okay to cheat...no biggie. But, God's laws and His standards will never change for you or for me... NEVER!

Your Turn

Did I miss anything?

What advise would you give a spouse who's thinking of cheating?

This content is accurate and true to the best of the author’s knowledge and is not meant to substitute for formal and individualized advice from a qualified professional.

© 2019 Greg Carl

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    • dashingscorpio profile image

      dashingscorpio 

      5 weeks ago

      Anyone who WANTS to cheat will not ask themselves "What if".

      Most likely they will be coming up with ways to "justify" their actions.

      What if I get caught?

      Most cheaters don't expect to get caught?

      What if I contract an STD? What if there is a pregnancy?

      (They swear to themselves) "I will practice safe sex".

      It's human nature to "figure out a way" to get the things we really want. Self discipline, honor, love, and devotion are "learned" traits.

      At it's core cheating is a "selfish act" in which the individual is only thinking about what will make (them) happy in this (very moment).

      In some instances it comes down to "impulsive behavior" and "happenstance". Not every cheater "plans" to cheat. In fact very few people on their wedding day plan to cheat or even get divorced. And yet the divorce rate is said to be nearly at 50%.

      I suspect it would be nearly impossible to talk someone out of cheating if they {really wanted} to cheat. The cheater is more interested in reasons to (justify) their actions than reasons to prevent themselves from taking those actions. They already know it's morally wrong to break their vows, lie, and deceive.

      People break the law because they don't expect to get caught or they don't care if they do get caught.

      They already know they're in the wrong! They can't be "shamed".

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