- Gender and Relationships
“What happened to romance? Sappy, soppy longhand love letters.” - Beastly
Have you ever wondered what happened to the romance in your relationship or your life?
Remember the long walks, romantic dates, carving trees (to create memories) or occasional PDA just to keep the spark alive?
What ever happened to it?
In this day and age the most romantic thing you’re likely to experience (in most cases) is your better-half paying the dinner bill (if he doesn't suggest you split it of course).
Sometimes you may sit and wonder where fairytale romance has just suddenly disappeared to especially if you’re in a long term relationship (then of course you should have seen it coming).
For many couples, as the relationship grows the romance in it diminishes.
He gets so comfortable in the relationship that he doesn't see the need to ‘whoooo’ you anymore.
You’re not alone
If you have ever found yourself wondering at the thought of forgotten romance then know that you are not alone. Females all over the world experience this to such an extent that movies refer to it (such as Beastly). When a movie or TV series talks about something, that’s when you know it’s going towards being the norm.
When was the last time you received a LOVE LETTER?
I’m not referring to an email, text message or even the Valentine's day card you received. I’m talking about a genuine love letter. One received randomly as an expression of how amazingly special you are.
Just goes to show how things have changed over time.
The current situation
Could it be a case of not agreeing on what romance is? According to research conducted by cosmopolitan, while 40% of women report that their boyfriends or husbands are "not very often" or "never" romantic, 75% of men claim they are consistently romantic!
What's more is the fact that when conducting research on 2000 people major differences were found between what men and woman feel qualifies as romantic. Woman see having their better-half hold their hand in public, kiss them goodbye, hold the door open for them or run them a bath (to name but a few) as beautifully romantic gestures. Men on the other hand, mentioned doing the dishes, letting her hold the remote and taking the bin out as what they would see as romantic things they do for their partner.
Maybe we’ve got it all messed up and what we consider romantic is not at all romantic to our male counterparts. Maybe a picnic under the stars or a candle lit dinner is no more romantic then a little attention in-between football matches or during halftime...
It’s all part of equality
Is it really?
Equality is meant to mean mutual respect within the relationship and not to replace the whole dating / courting process as we know it.
Have you ever thought to yourself “I may earn almost as much / as much as you do and be able to take myself shopping when I feel the need, but that doesn’t mean I should take you out to dinner and pull out the chair for you. What happened to the romance? Men are supposed to behave in manly ways regardless of what we’re earning. We’re female and they're male. I’m not in a same sex relationship so it shouldn't feel that way.”
So many people have and yet nothings going to change. Yeah for the honeymoon phase of your relationship you’ll be spoilt rotten; receive phone calls at all hours, tons of flowers and chocolates and lots of romantic messages. But as soon as everything starts to get settled, the romance starts to become more and more spaced out until its moved from once a week to once a month to once a year to GONE.
All in all
The saying proves true; men are from mars and women from Venus, but when all is said and done opposites attract. We see things completely differently and statistics prove that this is evident in the ideology of romance too. So when you do get those 21 roses, that romantic walk or a personalized CD filled with romantic music, smile and know that he went out of his way because it's not in his nature. Also know that even when he doesn’t say it or do anything out of the ordinary he still loves you the same because “A mans love is not like a woman’s love”.