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“What happened to romance? Sappy, soppy longhand love letters.” - Beastly

Updated on August 16, 2017

Have you ever wondered what happened to the romance in your relationship or your life?

Remember the long walks, romantic dates, carving trees (to create memories) or occasional PDA just to keep the spark alive?

What ever happened to it?

In this day and age the most romantic thing you’re likely to experience (in most cases) is your better-half paying the dinner bill (if he doesn't suggest you split it of course).

Sometimes you may sit and wonder where fairytale romance has just suddenly disappeared to especially if you’re in a long term relationship (then of course you should have seen it coming).

For many couples, as the relationship grows the romance in it diminishes.

He gets so comfortable in the relationship that he doesn't see the need to ‘whoooo’ you anymore.

You’re not alone

If you have ever found yourself wondering at the thought of forgotten romance then know that you are not alone. Females all over the world experience this to such an extent that movies refer to it (such as Beastly). When a movie or TV series talks about something, that’s when you know it’s going towards being the norm.


When was the last time you received a LOVE LETTER?

I’m not referring to an email, text message or even the Valentine's day card you received. I’m talking about a genuine love letter. One received randomly as an expression of how amazingly special you are.

Just goes to show how things have changed over time.

The current situation

Could it be a case of not agreeing on what romance is? According to research conducted by cosmopolitan, while 40% of women report that their boyfriends or husbands are "not very often" or "never" romantic, 75% of men claim they are consistently romantic!

What's more is the fact that when conducting research on 2000 people major differences were found between what men and woman feel qualifies as romantic. Woman see having their better-half hold their hand in public, kiss them goodbye, hold the door open for them or run them a bath (to name but a few) as beautifully romantic gestures. Men on the other hand, mentioned doing the dishes, letting her hold the remote and taking the bin out as what they would see as romantic things they do for their partner.

Maybe we’ve got it all messed up and what we consider romantic is not at all romantic to our male counterparts. Maybe a picnic under the stars or a candle lit dinner is no more romantic then a little attention in-between football matches or during halftime...

It’s all part of equality

Is it really?

Equality is meant to mean mutual respect within the relationship and not to replace the whole dating / courting process as we know it.

Have you ever thought to yourself “I may earn almost as much / as much as you do and be able to take myself shopping when I feel the need, but that doesn’t mean I should take you out to dinner and pull out the chair for you. What happened to the romance? Men are supposed to behave in manly ways regardless of what we’re earning. We’re female and they're male. I’m not in a same sex relationship so it shouldn't feel that way.”

So many people have and yet nothings going to change. Yeah for the honeymoon phase of your relationship you’ll be spoilt rotten; receive phone calls at all hours, tons of flowers and chocolates and lots of romantic messages. But as soon as everything starts to get settled, the romance starts to become more and more spaced out until its moved from once a week to once a month to once a year to GONE.

All in all

The saying proves true; men are from mars and women from Venus, but when all is said and done opposites attract. We see things completely differently and statistics prove that this is evident in the ideology of romance too. So when you do get those 21 roses, that romantic walk or a personalized CD filled with romantic music, smile and know that he went out of his way because it's not in his nature. Also know that even when he doesn’t say it or do anything out of the ordinary he still loves you the same because “A mans love is not like a woman’s love”.


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    • Jade89 profile imageAUTHOR

      Jade Monique Taylor Hiralal 

      7 years ago from Johannesburg - South Africa

      Glad you enjoyed the read Megan!

      Thanks for the comment :)

    • profile image


      7 years ago

      This was a great! Definitely encouraging and inspirational! ;)

    • Jade89 profile imageAUTHOR

      Jade Monique Taylor Hiralal 

      7 years ago from Johannesburg - South Africa


      Epigramman, thank you soooo much for your great words. You are truly an extremely inspirational person. Thanks for the enthusiasm and encouragement. You are such a great example to follow. :)

      I would really appreciate your link.

      Thanks again for the motivation!


    • epigramman profile image


      7 years ago

      ...well all I can say here is lucky 'Mach' - and yes you bring dignity and grace and a lot of great advice with your world class writing and supreme/sublime thoughts - may I have the pleasure of this hub dance and then I will post this most essential hub and return to romance on my Facebook page with a direct link back here - and you know what they say - love is love - all over the world, no matter what creed, class, race or color .....

      lake erie time ontario canada 4:19pm


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