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Why Abuse Comes in Forms That Nobody Understands

Updated on August 19, 2019
chyentel lott profile image

relationship can be a good thing or a bad thing you dont know what goes on behide close door. Abuse comes in many forms.

WHY I CHOSE TO TALK ABOUT ABUSE.

Hello World my name is chyentel or as you can call me channy. Abuse is one of the topics i feel strongly to talk about. From my own experience from my ex. This is my story. I mean I went from being the most happy girl to the most paranoid scared girl before got I got with him.

It started out like a normal relationship we had some of the best times in the beginning it was perfect. I notice a couple weeks late how he was checking my phone going though every messages that i ever sent i had to give my passwords to him so he ( could keep an eye on me) it got to the point where I wouldn't go to work because I was sick and he would be calling me over and over to see where I was. At the time I would think it was normal for a boyfriend to do that.

Over the next couple of weeks after that if he didn't like what I was doing or if I didn't show up on time coming home. He would grab my arms and slap my back it was pretty bad. We got pregnant in may of 2017 for me only be 18 for a month I was scared but happy. I thought maybe it would be better for us to get along better for this child I told him i was pregnant right now at first he acted like he was exited to be a dad so I never thought what came next was going to be the worst thing ever

WHY HITTING WOMAN IS WRONG

More to this story that even to this day is hard to talk about

I mean once he found out you think we would become so happy right. I was wrong for believe in this monster that he was. People still ask me to this day why didn't you leave when all of this was going on and well the truth is i was stupid very stupid.

over the next month after going to the doctors and making sure everything was healthy with this baby I was so excited. We got back to his apartment and i swear i thought i saw the devil in him. He was so angry and hurtful I never thought he would do what he did.

The same day he had the worst look in his eye. I went to go leave since we weren't living together and he came into the room as i was grabbing my purse and keys to leave he took my keys from me and threw them at my face i never thought that would ever happen. I grabbing my keys and went out the door by which he followed me and shoved me down the stairs.

which it ended up hitting my belly on the step. the blood that was coming out i knew it wasn't good. the next thing i remember was walking up in the hospital. asking the doctor is the baby OK. the worse news I could hear when the doctor walked in was theres no heartbeat. I knew it was his fault i hated it. I remember calling my sister and telling her to come to the hospital to pick me up. since I knew i couldn't go back. to his house i remember seeing my phone with messages saying i better come back or else I told my sister i would be fine even though she kept telling me it wasn't right to go back i went back and he ( said sorry )

I remember yelling at him saying its your fault why did you do what you did. I remember the anger in my voice was hate that i had towards him. He grab me and punched me in the eyes giving me too black eyes. seeing what he was. Made me strong enough to leave.




To this day i'm a lot happy er knowing the chose I had was to leave. there are sunny days and sad days i still get panick attacks after everything but the choice to leave was the best for me.


THANK YOU FOR LISTENING

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    • dashingscorpio profile image

      dashingscorpio 

      4 weeks ago

      "People still ask me to this day why didn't you leave when all of this was going on and well the truth is i was stupid very stupid." Brutal honesty!

      The fact of the matter is teenage love usually spells trouble. It's a stage where teens love to think of themselves as being "adults" so they avoid confiding in their parents or other actual adults when they are dealing with abuse/mistreatment from boyfriends/girlfriends.

      On some level I suspect they KNOW what their father or mother would say or do and (they) also know they want to stay in the relationship! Suffering is optional.

      No man wants his daughter treated like crap. No brother wants his sister treated like crap and if you had a child of your own you would have probably told her to leave the moment her boyfriend insisted she give him her passwords especially after only two weeks of dating.

      The goal is to have a "soulmate" not a "cellmate".

      Clearly this guy did not see (you) as being his "equal" and you apparently didn't believe you were either because you went along with his demands. Another common trait teenagers have is they lack the ability to see "the big picture" and they always live in the moment.

      The truth is there are over 7 Billion other people on the planet. No one is "stuck" with anyone. If you can't relax and be yourself in a relationship it means you are with the wrong person!

      You are always where YOU (choose) to be.

      Each of us (chooses) our own friends, lovers, and spouse.

      Each of us has our own mate selection process/must haves list.

      Each of us has our own boundaries and "deal breakers".

      We spend a lot of time talking about abusers and trying to get people to stop abusing others. That's all well and good but we need to find a way to get people to love themselves enough to walk away!

      Believe it or not some people are drawn towards abusive people, thugs, gangsters, bitches, drama, and roller coaster relationships.

      Every time they meet someone "nice" they put them in the friend zone.

      I've heard some women ask: "How do I stop attracting the wrong type of guys?" As if they don't have the power to say "no".

      It's not about who is attracted to you as much as it is who YOU find attractive. Nothing happens until you say: (yes) to someone.

      If you want something different you have to do something different!

      "Never love anyone who treats you like you're ordinary."

      - Oscar Wilde

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