Why Men Don't Cry
Men and their emotions
Men seem to have a problem with sharing or being open about their feelings. Some men are scared to cry, or afraid to even say I love you. Even though we do cry and we do love, it seems quite a challenge to openly do so. Some men probably think it will make them less of a man if they are more open with their feelings but while they are fighting to be a man in the process they are becoming less human. It is natural to cry, laugh, be sad, be in love all are innate human characteristics.
Possibly reasons why men don't cry
- A man would not want to be viewed as a emotionally weak creature when living in a patriarchal society scared of being ridiculed by his peers. It is traditional to think of a man as being weak if he breaks down and cry and the strong man toughens it out. Most societies today are mainly patriarchal where men are the ones mostly in leader positions of companies and government. Women are also in some of these positions too but they are predominantly hold by men. So the man as a leader has to be strong, any open display of emotions may be perceived as weakness. This would question his competence to lead. Who wants to have a weak leader?
- So even in the traditional home the man is seen as the dominant role of being the bread winner going out and providing for the family. Right there and then he is putted in a position where he can't fail because he has a family depending on him. While, on the other hand the woman back then mostly assume a more passive role of doing home chores and taking care of the children. Any sign of weakness here will compromise his manhood and his ability to provide security for his family.
- When a man cries, one may question his sexual orientation due to ignorance. But one has to understand that crying is a natural human characteristic and should not be viewed as a gender weakness. These misconceptions were as a result of the ignorance of crying being seen as weakness. This degradation is done by peers mostly. Often times you will hear statements like, "What kind of man cries?" He may be seen as a gay or sissy, as these words connotate.
- More often than not, in relationships men try to hide emotions in attempt to appear tough to his female counterpart. Any sign of weakness here leaves his relationship vulnerable to insecurity.
Even presidents cry
If a man does not cry how does he relieve his stress??
When a person cries they let go of bottled up emotions inside which are keeping them from becoming happy. So crying somehow bleeds out the pain and then time does it’s thing and heal. However, on the other hand what one may not know is the man that does not cry ends up turning to other sometimes destructive ways of alleviating his stress/pain. Such as :
1. Alcohol becomes his best friend as he is trying to drink the problem away.
2. Smoking is another medium that some men turn to, in the hope of just easing his mind from his worries. And we all know what smoking leads to.
3. Abuse in the home is another major problem of the man who doesn’t cry. Remembering all that pain bottled inside has to come out. And he sometimes take it out on his wife or children in the home.
4. Cheating may occur through prostitutes, as he doesn’t need an attachment but just the spontaneous relieve of his stress, and this supports his macho persona as opposing to him crying like a weakling.
5. Gambling also takes place just to be a little fun to relieve stress until it turns into a serious addiction.
6. AND the worst one of all we see this in the news everyday SUICIDE after killing other family members. And a lot of people first response would be OH MY GOSH, what could have happened he lived such a successful life, he had everything? What could have made him do such a thing? But the onlooker doesn’t know what this man has bottled up inside him or what struggle he is facing. He would have probably open up to someone but because of his success, he has formed a protective ego around himself. Especially if he is a high profile or popular person this is much harder to do. So you see where the problem arises from a man not being open about his feelings and emotions.
Tips for men to deal with emotional stress
- LIVE LOVE LAUGH but most importantly CRY if you have to.
- Take a walk find a quiet place and just let it out.
- Seek counselling if you have to nothing is wrong with that. It will help you and especially the ones you love the most your family.
- Talk to a close friend or family member about the issue.
- If it’s a relationship problem you might have to be the bigger person and step away, avoiding the stress in the first place.
- To let out emotions do some running, go to gym or take part in some physical activity. It is known that exercise is a big stress reliever.
Just be more open about your feelings, don’t fight to be a man after all you are Hu-Man.