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why men lie about cheating - What's In It For Them?

Updated on October 15, 2009

Why Men Lie

So you really want to know why Men lie about cheating?

To protect what they're "precious reputation". Most of the time they are unwilling to accept what they have done as it is taboo. Don’t be surprised if this is the case, as some people change their attitudes to justify their own actions.
Before uncovering the reasons behind why Men cheat and why do men lie about cheating, you need to understand where it starts. They will look for temptation or fall into it which can be anywhere at anytime. They fall into the thrill, deception, and guilt of infidelity. However, where do men find the sexual partners they cheat on with their significant others?

Why Men Lie and cheat

Why men lie about infidelity is very common question, here we look at why men cheat and why men lie about infidelity.
Why men lie about infidelity is very common question, here we look at why men cheat and why men lie about infidelity.

Here Are Some Places Men Find infidelity

This is one of the most common places where affairs begin. People spend most of their weeks at work, which leads to accessibility and availability as well as building an emotional relationship with a work colleague, which will develop fast into a physical relationship.
This place is like a jungle as many women seek out men in the gym. This means that your guy is being stared at and tempted.
Alcohol will lower inhibitions and affects his ability to make the right decision. Men who go out partying and become intoxicated are much more likely to cheat under the influence.
Internet affairs are a fast growing trend, with the like's of social networking sites such as Facebook and Twitter make communication with other people more accessible than it as ever been before. With a click of a mouse arrangements can be made with other people to meet up without no one else knowing or overhearing. Also there is an old saying that goes with the web and it is “The internet is for porn”

Reasons Men Lie About Cheating

Why men cheat and why men lie about their infidelity is a question asked by many. Find out the reasons why men lie and why men cheat here.
Why men cheat and why men lie about their infidelity is a question asked by many. Find out the reasons why men lie and why men cheat here.

Here are the most possible reasons why men lie about cheating:

He doesn't want to lose you!

He lie's about his cheating because even though your partner has cheated on you in there mind you are the one they love and the one they want to spend their life with. You are the one who has built a life with and he may have too much to lose if you find out.

They knew cheating was wrong

He also lie's about his cheating because having an affair is not a glamorous act and he knows this is wrong. Unless they are caught in the act or else they will just deny till the end. This is a way of protecting themselves.
Ideally, the best thing is not to emotionally react when you catch your husband lying about cheating. Collect evidence like a professional and calculating detective. Men tend to run away from a highly charged emotional confrontation, they can’t deal with wild accusations, tears and flying saucers and may even try reverse psychology, trying to blame you for lying. What you have to do is be cool and psychologically stable.

Instead of kicking and screaming about why men lie about cheating, find out why men cheat and put an end to it today, right now.


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    • profile image


      3 years ago

      I been married for seven years, living together for 10 years and had giving each other space when we had big fights something we shouldn't ever do we had problems because he would always come home smelling like alcohol and i wanted him to cut out his relationship with his low life friends, they all into alcohol and partying the reason why their babies mamas left two of them, the first time i left him was because i over heard him talking on the phone to his friend about him had to stay home because i show up unspectivelly at his parents house while he told me that he was going to take the car to the mechanical mainance and was going to spend the night there to pick up the car early in the morning the next day, the was the excuse to do as he please i was four months pregnant with our first child so that make me think maybe he deserved a second chance.

      The second time i had left the house it was because he brought his friend to stay in our home and it make me angry that they were drinking while i had asked for permission from my job to stay home to take care of him bacause he Got two hernias removed and was in need of a lot of care at home but looking how he was drinking while recently had a surgery was nonsense and me having a one year old baby and being 38 weeks pregnant with my second child was just too much.

      The next month i come to find out a love letter from this woman sent from a drug and mental center where she was a patient trying to recover from her addictions in the letter she says she wants to give him a chance and esplains how he makes her feel like a kid In love been 34 years old and that she cant wait to see him, when i confront him about it he said that she was just a friend who was going throught a lot just like him because of our situation and was into him that she really like him i didn't believe him ofcourse but he wanted me to give him the last chance he could ever have to raise our two little babies together he told me he doesn't want to let me go and lose all those years we had been together, i told him that if he really wanted her to go for it but he asured me that between Them two nothing ever happen that he didn't get intimate with her because of his recently surgery and because they were just friends he told me that he call her to ask her to stop communicating with him because he wanted to fix everything with me and i really had a hard time thinking if i really wanted to be with a man who coulnd't be brave enough to confess his adultery with this low life woman but i thought to myself that my babies will need both of us to raise them together and didn't want them to be disfuncional kids and i found in my heart i still had love for this man and i decided to give him the last chance for good i hope it works out even that i know it is hard to forget when the person you give your heart and your everything cheats on you.

    • profile image

      addiambo saunders 

      3 years ago

      I broke up with my man becuz he not only cheated with this girl he went down on her and did the stuff we promised to only do to each other. I found out about it confronted him and he denied it. My frenz knew about it too, i felt like a fool n he refuse to admit it. I bailed the embarrassment is too much

    • profile image


      4 years ago

      Cherry: You are an IDIOT to stay with a man who lies, denies and justifies and you make your own misery by choosing to stay with him. Men lie profusely about cheating with the standard excuses "She's just a friend" or "She's going through a bad time" but women can play that "It's Not What You Think" game. They can brew a pot of hot coffee and pour it all down the front of their cheating boyfriend's or husband's pants and say 'Oh honey, I made a fresh pot of coffee and forgot to bring you a cup'

    • profile image


      4 years ago

      Very informative article. @cherry. You need to dig into the depth of yourself and let this man go. This isn't a healthy way for you to live and just because a man doesn't admit he cheated, does not discount the fact that he in fact DID CHEAT.

    • profile image


      4 years ago

      My boyfriend of 7 yrs has alwAys cheated and I always forgive him I feel so dumb oh which he loves to say all the time how dumb and stupid I am he cheat with the teenage babysitter in the beginning and lied about it for years . I came to know it was true and til this day if I go into his blackberry to the messages and go to options and view recent email activy I see they are still emailing each other I am so disgusted in myself I have to small kids with him and I am not working been actively looking but nothing yet . This effects my health and happiness help

    • profile image


      4 years ago

      This is MY story… My husband and I have been incredibly happily married for 10 years (together 11). Seriously, never a problem. Lots of fun times and a wonderful life together. Then a woman from his past moved 3 blocks away from us. She’d had a hard life and had just lost her husband to cancer. She herself was recovering from anal cancer and had to endure a colostomy bag. She was on disability, taking care of her sick elderly mother, raising her nieces 2 preteen kids and was extremely obese (over 300 lbs). My husband admitted that they had fooled around they were both in their teens, but he’d been a horrible alcoholic and never remembered having sex with her…only waking up next to her on a few occasions. I watched her walk past our house for nearly a year, ignoring my husbands suggestion to go walking with her for health purposes. I am thin, but needed to move more as heart disease runs in my family. When I did give in, my husband made a track in our pasture so that she and I could avoid traffic and walk safely. She came to walk with me daily for over a year. Shortly after she began frequenting our home, my husband began complaining of fatigue and back pain. This caused a considerable decline in our sexual relationship. Since he is in his 50′s and had a previous back injury, I didn’t think too much of it. Then, about a year later, he began finding fault with me and became argumentative. I asked why he was acting so different, but he had no answer. Well, one morning he asked me to teach him how to forward a YouTube video to his brother’s messages and BAM! I found a text between her and him. It said enough that I printed out the latest phone record. Just that month alone, there were 1997 texts! I looked back in the records and discovered a 15 month long affair with over 43,000 texts, 2,000 phone calls and 80 pictures! I was devastated. I heard the “We’re just friends” line from BOTH of them, but I found out otherwise. Seems this is the same woman he committed adultery with while he was married to his first wife 37 years ago. He also had sex with her behind several of his girlfriends backs. My husband has been sober for 25 years! He did this SOBER! They BOTH swear there was no sex this time because of me! However, he begged her for it constantly and asked her to come to the house when I wasn’t home. This sober man sent her pictures of his penis!! She has told me that she loves him, but he says he’s never loved her and loves me. As far as I can tell, they stopped contact one year ago, today, the day after they got caught. My world has been shattered. They told me it was just a game. He says he only wanted her to THINK he wanted her. Says he felt sorry for her. Then he tells me, when he brought up the subject of having an affairs, she said “NO”, which pissed him off and made him try even harder to get her to say yes. I think it’s a bunch of bullshit! He says he can’t remember most of it and cannot come up with any reason why he did it. Yes, he started the whole thing. He can only say he just wanted to mess with her head. I do not understand! We live in a very small town and if you asked anyone who he’d ever mess around on me with…they ALL say her! What does this mean? He’s free to go, but he says he doesn’t want her and nothing they did was important to him. What? They never missed one day of communication in those 15 months. Every morning he texted her, “Good morning Sweetheart” and every night, “Goodnight, babe, sweet dreams”. He texted her while he and I were out on dates! He began to feel out his family by mentioning her to them. I think she meant something to him and still does! I don’t think I’ll ever heal from this! I think I married a monster. Why would a happily (he was!) Married man let his past bring him down? Why would he cheat on most all his relationships with the SAME woman throughout his entire life?

    • profile imageAUTHOR

      stacey reece 

      9 years ago

      Hey :0)

      My ex, when I finally confronted him, tried to say I was imagining things and he tried to blame me for the cheating saying it was my guilty conscience making see these things!!

      (I had to think about it, he nearly had me believing him as well)

      Thank you for your comment.

    • stricktlydating profile image


      9 years ago from Australia

      Yes I agree with you. They will try to make up an excuse if caught, or deny it to the end. Let's just hope they don't place their reason for cheating on something the woman has done. If he's cheated, he's the one at fault.


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