- Gender and Relationships»
You Are Just Deceiving Yourself If...
We are all guilty of this so I’m not going to judge anyone. At some point in our lives, I believe we must have engaged in this very sin. What am I talking about? I’m talking about self-deception. This sin is the worst of all sins because you are both the deceiver and the deceived. In other words, you are the victim of your own crime.
I get it, most times, we live in a very stressful world so in order to alleviate the stress, we engage in some many activities that can be best described as fantasies.
We also live in the world where making choices is an everyday activity and sometimes some decisions can be so difficult to make which gives rise to the tendency of us seeking alternatives. In the process, we might also form some certain habits that will not do us any good in the long run, even though it might appear as our best or only option at the moment.
But deep down, we know that we are only deceiving ourselves. And that’s where the problem lies. The truth can be so bitter at times and it will take a very conscious and serious effort to come face to the face with the consequences of those very truths hence we might become evasive.
But does that solve the problem?
No, I don’t think so. Maybe we don’t even have any idea of the consequences of living in self-denial can be so bizarre and far-reaching which is why we may be tempted to continue living in that way rather than confronting the truth.
So in this write-up, I will try to highlight those consequences with the hope that some of us who are really up for a change might be motivated to do the needful asap.
So, you know you are deceiving yourself when…
As a student
You waste you time in totally non-productive ventures. No time for yourself. It’s all about partying, social networks, chats and looking down at your phone.
No problem, I understand. I won’t say any of those things are entirely wrong because, well, you know... all work and no play. Besides, no one can blame you after all you ain’t the only one doing that. Everyone should know you’re just following fads.
Look at it closely again and tell me what you see? Your studies are completely forgotten. But you are not worried. Of course, you think, no, you know you can catch up. Your exams are fast approaching. And you know you haven't really prepared very well. But you are not bothered. Of course, you trust your ability to read and digest a varying load of information before the exam proper.
But then again…
Please take a moment if you can, and then ask yourself this: Why I’m here? Why and what exactly was I sent to this school to do? What can I do about these poor grades I’m getting?
Then after that, you can then do whatever your mind tells you to do.
But please always remember, you play now and pay later or you pay now and play later.
So what is it gonna be?
You are in the relationship because of what you think you can get. Truth be told, you are in the relationship just for convenience sake. You don’t really love your partner. Hence, you are not yet ready to make the necessary sacrifices and compromises which relationship is all about. But you are engaging yourself in the deception with the hope that you will eventually develop that love, or make that commitment one day.
But the days are passing. One day has turned to one year to two years to five years to ten years but it hasn’t happened—yet.
No one is against you being in the relationship for what you can get. No one is going to blame you for not knowing the reason/s why you are in the relationship. The problem only lies in the pretense that comes with it.
How long will you pretend? How long can you take it? How long will you keep on making vain promises and giving your partner false hopes? How long will you continue to waste everyone's time—oh yes, even yours too? How long will you continue to be cheating your partner? How long will do you think it will take before your game will be found out?
And when your game is finally up, what will your situation be like? Can you face the music when it starts?
Think about it.
As a preacher
You practice what you don’t preach and vice versa. You sound so interesting and you can make your sermons so dramatic such that members of the congregation are completely spellbound and enthralled by your theatrics and are always looking forward to another date with you.
So you promise your congregation miracles. You tell them everything they want to hear. In short, you play on their naivety and gullibility.
Behind all that theatricals, you know it's more or less just empty talk with no substance.
And you know it! You have your own ulterior motives for doing all that. You don’t even believe any of the things you are telling others to do. Chances are, you in it because of money and fame or power. Nothing more; nothing else.
But do you realize where the biggest problem in all that scheming of yours is going to come from, do you?
Alright listen. Probably, you already think you can deceive all the people all the time. Unfortunately for you, people learn from experience, so you cannot continue to deceive them.
One day, your game will be up.
How about that?
Your sole concern is profits. Profits... profits... profits... and more profits! Profits at the expense of customers’ comfort and satisfaction. So you don’t think twice before you increase your price. And you are always ready to cut corners and even sell fake products, just to keep on maximizing your profits.
Your thinking: they will surely buy, no matter what, right?
But you forgot one thing.
All those customers have one thing or another they might be selling too. And they will most likely want to jack up their own prices too.
And then push it to you, in one way or the other.
Their thinking: you will surely buy!
You see? What goes around do come around.
Besides, the word is spreading around about you and your business plus the terrible manner in which you are conducting your business.
And you know what that means?
Of course, realize it now or not, that’s one more customer less for you.
As an addict
You believe this stick is gonna be your last. You strongly believe that this shot will be your last.
Seriously? You are still on that dope?
But you know what?
I’m just laughing at you.
You know why?
Tell me the truth now, how long have been telling and repeating that same ol’ story to yourself? Yes, we all know that you are so determined to quit. And yet, instead of taking the necessary steps that will help you quit, you still continue to indulge yourself while lying to yourself at the same time.
So when are you really going to quit?
See my friend; I’ve got this message for you. If you want to quit; quit and stop deceiving yourself, okay?
But then again, you can continue to swim in self-denial. It’s a free world and it's your choice!
Meanwhile, good luck with your gradual but continuous destruction of your body system, organs and faculties.
As a leader
You run your office or country like your personal business. You issue authoritative commands at will. You treat your subjects like common laborers. In short, you are the perfect example that absolute power corrupts absolutely.
As a leader in government, you abuse peoples’ rights. During elections, you make so main bogus promises which you know you cannot—and doesn’t even have the intention to fulfill—just to get their votes.
And when you eventually get into office, you fully throw yourself into the task of plundering the treasury.
Simply put, you deceive the people. Then you tell more lies to cover your track. You strongly believe they will never find out your treachery.
I fully understand what gave you the guts in the first place. Of course, you have nothing to fear because you are in total control and you can exercise your powers the way you want.
But are you?
Do you think you’ll always be in power? Haven’t you ever heard that power can be so transient? Do you really think the people have no power and your word is just final?
Well, keep on deceiving yourself, if you are not already aware of that. One day you might just wake up and find out that you are now on the other side of judgment.
You should bear this in mind always. People don’t always and easily forget both your good deeds and bad deeds towards them. If you are good to them, you get their encomiums and laud at the end of your tenure. If you are bad to them, then expect their full wrath of their anger against you—when the time finally comes—for them to have the last laugh.
In our everyday lives
In our everyday lives, you are always on the lookout for whom to deceive to climb higher in your social status or circles. And you do it with no scruples simply because you’ve succeeded in convincing yourself that it’s a dog eat dog world out there. Everybody is doing it so what the heck? You want to get paid for the work you didn’t do.
You are not interested in personal development either because you’ve managed to convince yourself that it’s not all that important and besides, you have no time for such things or simply because you’ve completely failed to understand that a well-developed mind is the greatest weapon you can have in this life.
You are always ready to avoid putting in the hard work needed to learn a skill. You don’t just want to put in the time too. You are so scared of the stress that might be involved so you are always looking for someone to make it easier for you.
It’s not a bad thing per se and I won’t judge you at all for seeking the easy way out after all, most humans are like that too.
But have you ever sat down to think about the consequences of always looking out for the easiest ways out?
Well, it’s simple.
Consider this scenario, where everyone is looking for the easier way out. Now ask yourself this: who then will do the easy work for us?