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Marriage: She Wants It, So What’s Wrong With Her Proposing?

Updated on January 26, 2011

Getting what you want by asking....

Every time we liberate a woman, we liberate a man. ~Margaret Mead

It was December 1972 when Helen Reddy's "I Am Woman" hit #1 on the Billboard charts.

"I am woman hear me roar,

In numbers too big to ignore

And I know too much to go back an' pretend

'Cause I've heard it all before

And I've been down there on the floor

No one's ever gonna keep me down again....."

Money & Power

So much has changed since 1972 some 38 plus years ago. The Equal Rights Amendment was passed by congress and sent to the states for ratification. Although it fell short by three states women’s rights have advanced. In those days the “glass ceiling” was actually made out of brick. Today according CNN Money we have 15 women holding CEO positions in “The Fortune 500” and 28 in total in the “Fortune 1000” Today we have women holding positions among the highest levels of government as Senators, Governors, Secretary of State, and recently the Speaker of the house.

According to an article from MSNBC 33.5% of women earned more than their husbands in 2007. I imagine that percentage has grown significantly during “the great recession”. The gap in pay and opportunity is slowly closing. Many women are opting to put off marriage and having children well into their 30s

Sexual Equality

The number of birth control options along with a woman’s right to choose has made it possible for a woman to have sex on par with a man. Shotgun weddings are pretty much a thing of the past. The stigma of being a single mother is pretty much gone.

It is not unheard of for a woman to decide to have a child without having a man. Sperm banks and artificial insemination have made it possible to have children when she is ready to whether she has found a suitable partner or not.

Chivalry & Sexism

With the push for equality came the desire to get rid of “the weaker sex” moniker. Chivalry for all its benefits to women was often tied to sexism and chauvinism. Women wanted to be seen as strong, independent, and most of all equal to men.

Initially this was met with resistance by the male population in most corners of the world. Even now there are sexual harassment lawsuits and other discrimination suits pending related to how women are treated in the workplace. However by anyone’s measuring stick we can all agree there has been some major strides towards equality between the sexes from 1972 and 2011.

Dating & Marriage: The Last Frontier

Despite all of the advances women have made towards equality many are reluctant to be “proactive” when it comes to dating and marriage.

Numerous books, articles, hubs, and blogs are written weekly offering women advice on “How to get a man to notice you”, “How to get your man to commit” “How to tell if he is interested in you” or “How to get your man to propose”...etc

Countless women sit in nightclubs tapping their feet and bobbing their heads to music (waiting) for a man to come along to ask them to dance rather than approaching a man.

Is it pride (not wanting to appear desperate)? Is it fear of rejection? Or the naïve belief that the person “being asked” holds the power? Or the all time favorite “I believe in tradition”. Whatever the reason is most women elect to take the passive indirect approach when it comes to finding out where they stand with a man.

This in of itself is not a bad thing but what makes it an issue is when the woman becomes frustrated because her man is not responding to her "hints" or his romantic light switch has not turned on.

According to many articles there are lots of women who want to get married but won’t propose. “If it’s not worth asking for, it’s not worth having.”

An instructor of mine many years ago told the class the shortest distance between two points is a straight line. It takes courage to pursue your dreams whatever they may be. If you find yourself in a relationship with the person you want to spend the rest of your life with or you pass by someone daily whom you’d like to get to know better, whether you are a woman or a man you owe it to yourself to find out where you stand.

Life is short. Ask for what you want.

If the person you ask is unable to give you what you want then move on.

You are responsible for your own happiness!

One man’s opinion!


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