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A Woman Asks: "Is There Anything Wrong With Just Wanting To Get Laid?"

Updated on August 10, 2010

A Difference Between The Sexes?

Actually I found this question to be kind of refreshing.

Most of the blogs, hubs, and comments I read ignore the possibility that women are capable of separating sex from love. They all seem to imply if two consenting adults have sex and never talk to each other again (the woman) was somehow "used or taken advantage of".

Why doesn't the guy feel used? Hmmmm  

In the mood

In the mood...
In the mood...
Need a release
Need a release

Worrying About What Others Think Of Us...

Others state she must have a low self-esteem or lacks respect for herself. Still others simply call her a slut or wh*re for doing exactly what a lot of men do!

As long as women aren't having sex with a "hidden agenda" (expecting it to lead somewhere other than an orgasm) or being “forced” they shouldn't feel used or disappointed. (Unless it was Bad). Bad sex is almost worse than no sex.

If you're tired you sleep, if you're hungry you eat, if you're thirsty you drink, and if you're horny you have sex or masturbate.

That's most men's point of view

You can fall in love with someone you've never had sex with and you can have sex with someone you will never love. You can be selective and maintain your own standards as to whom, when, and where.


A lot of women cite concerns regarding what men will think of them or the "double standard". Men never worry or give a thought as to what women will think of them "in the morning". Women will never truly be equal to men as long as they worry about what men think of them! It's what you think about yourself that matters most.

Double Standards

As far as "double standards" go they only exists because (both sexes) agree something is bad. The reason a man can have sex just for the sake of having sex without there being a double standard isn't because women think it's cool, it's because a lot of men are fine with it. A number of men admire and respect the seductive skills of a “playboy”. Ironically quite a few women tend to admire men that (other men) admire and respect.

Imagine if women had the same approach to having sex as men and didn't care what men thought. There would be no "double standard".

When it comes to "double standards" you really have to blame your own sex for agreeing, with the opinions of the "opposite sex".

Selling Vs Order Taking

Most likely the real reason why the sexual “double standard” will always be around is because of the differences in the perceived “challenges

A salesman who has to overcome numerous rejections in order to close one deal is usually respected and paid much more than a guy who works on (the order desk) or in customer service.

The salesman is thought of as a professional using the “powers of persuasion” and various other tactics to overcome "objections".

A person working on the order desk simply answers the phone and does data entry. Her/his job requires very little effort and is considered “easy”.

The prospect/customer is already standing in line asking for the product.

When it comes to sex men are “sellers” and women are “order takers”.

With the exception of prostitutes/escorts most women don’t have to “persuade” or seduce men to have sex. Just as in the order desk analogy men/customers are already (asking for the product). The only way to turn things around respect wise is if men played hard to get. When it comes to having sex that’s not likely to happen anytime soon.

However when it comes to marriage proposals something a lot of men have to be “sold” on that’s a different story.

A woman who has had 5 marriage proposals garners more respect than a woman who has had 5 one-night stands! Once again proving my point it’s the overcoming challenges, which separates those we respect from those we discount. It’s not a matter of Men Vs Women.

Someone who builds a $100 million company is more respected than someone who wins $100 million in the lottery. Winning the lottery requires very little effort and a lot of luck!

Ultimately we are responsible for our own happiness. Your life is (your personal journey) and you have the right to live it on YOUR terms.

Is there anything wrong with a woman who just wants to get laid?

If you’re capable of doing whatever it is you want to do without worrying about what others may think, you are truly freeThe answer is NO if this describes you.

Very few people fall into this category.

A “Double Standard” is the adult term for “Peer Pressure”.

One man's opinion! Always practice SAFE sex! I know it sounds like one of those alcohol ads: (Drink responsibly)


Sex Without Commitment

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    • Danext profile image

      Dan Lema 3 years ago from Tanzania

      Drag the amazon capsule up so the book can be seen, it's way too down....

    • dashingscorpio profile image

      dashingscorpio 6 years ago

      wonderful1, Thanks for you comment! I completely agree with you. I don't thinkk anyone should concern themselves with what other people think. That attitude would kill all of this "double standard" nonsense. I personally have always been one of those guys who dances to his own music. :-)

    • wonderful1 profile image

      Sheila Varga Szabo 6 years ago from Southern California

      OK, um, *clearing throat* I agree that whatever stigma is attached to a woman having sex just cause she's horny can only stick if you believe it. I've fallen in love with a man I've never even physically met, and had emotionless, hot sex, and it felt damn good. Am I ashamed? Heck no. Ideally, it would be nice to have passionate, hot sex with the one you love, but we women are hormonal creatures. Oh, and for us women pushing 40, the sexual maturity makes us more animal-istic than what we used to be. For anyone who would judge me for that doesn't deserve my attention or time. What I think of myself is all that matters, and I think I'm a pretty swell lady. And most guys can appreciate a woman who lets go of inhibitions in the bedroom. Interesting Hub, dashing, LIKE.

    • dashingscorpio profile image

      dashingscorpio 6 years ago

      ElSeductor, I agree with you that there is a double standard. As I noted in the article a double standard is when both sexes agree that something is bad.

      As you pointed out most men probably would not marry a woman whom they (knew)had as many or more sexual partners then him. This is one reason why it's probably best that neither sex go over everything they've done. lol! Although there are men married to former porn stars.

      However by the same token what makes it a double standard is other women would also look down upon the woman who has slept with several me. (Both sexes having the same opinion). The fact that many women will marry men who have had several partners actually makes it a (single standard). There are also those that may consider him to be a dog. Others may want to be "the one" to tame the "bad boy".

      These types of women see the "playboy" as being a "challenge" to (marry). Where as the challenge for men is getting a woman who says "NO" most of the time to say "YES" to us with regard to (sex).

    • burning bush profile image

      burning bush 7 years ago

      Very interesting observations. Good hub.