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Work Husband and Work Wife

Updated on June 17, 2011
A Simple Work Friendship Can Easily Turn Into Something More Serious.
A Simple Work Friendship Can Easily Turn Into Something More Serious.

What Is a Work Spouse?

I used to watch these sitcom television shows where people would talk about work husbands and work wives. I thought this was completely fake until I heard some people at my job talking about it.

If you don’t know, a work husband or work wife is pretty much the title one receives when they spend too much time at work with someone of the opposite sex.

How it Starts...

So, Joe is married and he spends ten hours a day at work pouring over a project. He also has a partner that helps him named Jane. Jane and Joe know everything about each other because they spend 10 hours a day together. They’re very friendly and Joe feels more confident confiding in Jane then he does his own wife. Once he gets home, he has some dinner and heads off to bed with barely a word to his wife, just some generic conversation “how was your day?” “Fine, how was yours?” This would most definitely be considered a work husband/wife scenario. This kind of relationship is fine if you’re single, but from my viewpoint, completely inexcusable if you’re married.

How to Avoid It...

If possible, change project partners. If you’re able to get a man instead of a woman, or vice versa, then do it. Why tempt yourself? In this world of political correctness, segregation is so highly spoken against. “Women can do what men can do.” That’s correct, and I believe it to be completely true. That however, does not change the fact that by working with each other, you can create temptation. I’m not blaming women for this, I’m just saying this happens normally without anyone really noticing.

Think about how you met your husband, wife, boyfriend, or girlfriend. If it started out as a friendship, then it was probably pretty platonic in the beginning. And that changed after spending time together. People think that merely controlling your “sexual tension” is enough; No, it’s not, there shouldn’t be sexual tension at work. It’s work. The only sexual tension that should be controlled is the tension that you have for your husband or wife because you’ve been apart for 8 – 10 hours. If you have any other kind of tension, you need to request a new partner or team, and you need to let your husband or wife know so you can fix it before it becomes a real problem.

46 percent of unfaithful wives and 62 percent of unfaithful husbands had affairs with someone at work.

How to Stop It...

Obviously it is clear that individuals are bound to forge relationships at work, but when it starts destroying their true relationships, then it’s time to draw some lines. How can this be done?

Stop sharing every little thing with the person at work; Plain and simple. This person does not need to know about issues going on at home. If you have marriage problems that need to be talked out, then bring it to your wife, or a marriage counselor. By talking about marriage problems with another woman, you’re pretty much yelling “I’m unhappy, do you want to make me feel better?” I’m sure sometimes this is the person’s underlying intentions without even realizing it.

Infidelity runs rampant through relationships, and it is so terribly sad to see. These people  who pledge to love each other for sickness or health, richer or poorer, and yet our divorce rate is 50%! One out of every two marriages fail in America, and every one of those marriages took the same pledge. There is no reason except for peoples' selfish ways. It may sound extreme what I suggest, but no job is worth a marriage. When you take that oath, you better be willing to live under a bridge and stay faithful rather than have a billion dollars and fail them.


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      Jen 5 years ago

      Once my husband and I worked together for a company and there was a woman there who would flirt with my husband. He was oblivious to it, at first I thought he was just playing dumb but he truly was oblivious. It took several people around us telling him you know that the girl who sits next to you is coming on to you right? before he finally realized what was going on and told her that she either needed to leave him alone or he was going to ask for her transfer. It's crazy cause she sat next to him and he sat next to me and it was unreal that she didn't care that he was taken or that I was even there. I think it is a dangerous situation to get yourself into and is really hard to get out of once you are in it.

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      Sarah 6 years ago

      My husband has a work wife, and now I work in the same school and she stands in between me and him. She openly flaunts this relationship and he thinks nothing of it. It is a relationship based on lies and half truth. It is an emotional affair that has no place in the workplace. This woman is as much of an emotional slut as a physical one. I would tell her to her face, but I don't talk to trash.

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      Ashley 6 years ago

      Hi just have to say I totally agree with everything you said, It's like why put yourself through the temptation, when you can just avoid it, you know.

    • lauralolita profile image

      lauralolita 7 years ago from Florida

      Hi Sonja,

      I respect your opinion and appreciate your input. I can appreciate the idea of keeping a friend for various work-related issues, like what you suggested in your response, but why would this friend need to be of the opposite sex?

      The concern forms from a friendship with a physically pleasing co-worker of the opposite sex. Saying that the attraction is fine as long as it "doesn't lead to anything sexual" is what confuses people.

      Does a married man or woman talk to co-workers with the intent to have an affair? No, of course not, they just want someone to talk to, share their lunch break with, carpool home with. After a while, you're spending more 'real' quality time with this buddy than with your own spouse.

      Friendships grow with time. Most relationships begin through friendship. Now I'm not saying every person with friends of the opposite sex will cheat on their spouses, but it happens.

      Roughly 50% of cheating wives and 60% of cheating husbands had affairs with someone at work. Do you think these people thought they'd cheat on their spouse? Did they plan this affair when they first became friends with their coworker? Were they plotting their weekend business trip affair within minutes of meeting? Or did they just start out by saying it's fine as long as it "doesn't lead to anything sexual"?

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      sonja 7 years ago

      You've obviously never had a work husband/wife. It's a great thing and good to know that there's someone who stands up for you at work.

      What's wrong about having someone opposite sex who cares for you and e.g. drives you home when you're starting to feel sick? As long as the physical attraction doesn't lead to anything sexual, it's ok in my opinion.

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      nelda from texas 7 years ago

      good advice it tops all advice but the world around us is controlled by arrousements and people that in today's world can enjoy a one night stand "every now and then" with all spouse that spend more than 10hrs aday at work. when you want to give your family more it can be a good excuse to work late, get paid, make family happy, and i get to spend more "arrousement" time at work!