30 Days of Encouragement - Day 6
Scared of .... What?
Is the biggest fear people have. really speaking in public? I think the biggest fear of every person is the fear to face themselves.
Of course, we should think positively about ourselves, expect the best from ourselves, speak life over ourselves. But when the monster that is in each of us comes out we need to face it and decide what to do with it.
I See Me
I tend to interrupt others when they speak, I tend to judge before I know the whole story, I would tell convenient lies IF, I thought I would get away with it.
These are just a few flaws and weaknesses in my character. I am not proud of them. I am thankful that life has caused me to recognize them. I choose to acknowledge them. I also purposefully choose to work on them, diligently.
What about you? Are you open to see yourself or are you in denial and believe that everything wrong is somebody else's fault? Are you full of excuses? "They don't like me because they are jealous of me."
Maybe they are jealous, but are you a braggart? Are you self-absorbed? Is the conversation out of your mouth always about you? - It could be these are the reasons why "they don't like you."
So, what to do???? Come out of denial and take an honest look at our character flaws, weaknesses, and negative tendencies.
No Shame in the Game
Listen, do not be ashamed of your flaws and character weaknesses. With the advancement of psychology, psychiatry, and brain science, if they took the time to diagnose everybody, every living person on Earth would come out with an acronym. ADHD, AHD, PTSD, LD, Bi-Polar, Emotionally Damaged, Hyper, and or Hypo everything.
Not one of us would escape getting labeled, because none of us are perfect. There is something wrong with each of us.
It is What it Is
Perhaps truthfully recognizing that we are all flawed will help us take that honest look at ourselves. It is a challenge and just plain hard to see yourself. It is so much easier to see your issues and shortcomings much easier than I can see my own.
This is the height of deception. I feel better about myself because I have judged you and determined that my situation is nowhere near as awful as your situation. I am way nicer than you on any given day.
What I fail to realize is that flawed is flawed. And, we are all flawed.
Why Can't I See? Why Don't I Want to See?
We can't see ourselves because we are rebellious. We make up a persona that we like and we convince ourselves that this who we are. And, we fight to keep the facade.
We don't want to see because seeing will force us to make a decision.
We will be forced to decide if we will justify our character flaws and weaknesses by blaming somebody or something for them or if we will take a hard stand and work on fixing them.
[Side Note #1]
I know a guy from Jr. College who was a regular, shy, nice guy. But, after complete two years at the Jr. College, it was time to transfer to the University. At the University the regular, shy, nice guy completely switched. He took on the persona of an up and coming theatre major we knew in Jr. College.
He walked like him, laughed like him, dressed like him, and portrayed the same confidence. He did everything except taking on the theatre major's name. His way of covering his character flaws and weaknesses was to become someone else.
Fortunately, the theatre major went to a different University. Can you imagine what that would have been like if they were both at the same school?
Another reason we don't want to "see" is that our ego will be bruised. Acknowledging character flaws and weaknesses makes us vulnerable and puts on the same level as, 'those people'.
[Side Note #2]
I have a friend who always tells me how nice he is. How all he wants to do is give to others and help people. In his eyes, I am a villain, because I tell him he is self-absorbed, self-centered, and controlling.
He loves to give alright, but he loves to give what he wants you to have and is upset if you don't want it. A classic case of feeding his own ego. And, the help he offers is rarely the help you need. It is what he thinks would be good for you. He is the king of 'control'
It Will Help You
When we are not secure in who we are and when we don’t feel we are loved by someone we value, we tend not to look at ourselves honestly. We blame others, we make excuses, we overcompensate or we declare that we have medical issues.
Although annoying and embarrassing, recognizing and working on our character flaws help to smooth out our rough edges. They help us have compassion and empathy for others. Without them causing us to experience a little trauma, we would be little Hitler's - total egomaniacs. No one else or nothing else would matter to us.
Face The Nation
Let’s stop letting our diagnosis be our excuse for not facing our issues. Don't wallow in your character flaws and weaknesses, recognize them, and work on them. Concentrate on self-improvement, not on self-pity.
It isn't easy, but it can be done. We all can be better...
Be Blessed [Romans 12;2]