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A visit with God-A Poem

Updated on September 21, 2016

Take it one day at a time...

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A Cry in the Dark.

It would be so easy.

No one would notice. Besides...who cares if she didn’t exist in this crazy world?

Certainly not her mom or dad.

She casually slid the blade across the purple vein pulsing in her wrist.

She toyed with nicking herself.

Memories of hurt flickered behind her closed eyes. Tears built up in the corners threatening to escape.

A voice whispered to her breaking her trance. “What are you doing my child?”

Surprised she looked around the small room. She was still alone.

She closed her eyes letting a tear go.

“What are you doing my child?” the voice asked again.

She didn’t bother to look as she quietly replied, “Why?”

“Because I want to help if you will let me.” It whispered lovingly.

She shifted her weight and leaned back against the wall. She dared herself to look and see who was talking to her.

Still no one was there.

A chill ran through her body.

"Am I going crazy?" She asked herself looking at the razor blade in her hand.

“No,” the voice whispered to her.

Her head snapped up as she looked for the source of the voice.

“Who are you?” She asked the shadows in the room.

“You know who I am. You have been asking me for help.”

“Why now, Lord ? Why didn’t you answer me before now?” She wept.

“You didn’t want to hear me." The voice gently assured her. "I have been here all along.”

Again she ran the thin razor blade across the skin of her wrists. A delicate line of red oozed.

“Are you sure you want to do this?” The voice asked.

“Why not?” She choked back a sob. “No one cares about me anymore.”

“I do.” The voice answered tenderly. “Tell me what is bothering you. What is so bad that you feel the need to do this?”

She toyed with the blade again, and then sighed before answering.

“I don’t feel loved. I have no one who cares anymore. My boyfriend just wants to use me as a toy. My parents see me as their slave. I have no friends that like me for me. I can’t even keep a job because I can’t get along with the boss. I have been beaten and abused. It is hopeless. This is all I have left.”

Tears cascaded down her cheeks in a rivet of waterfalls. Her chest shook with her sobs. The razor blade temporarily forgotten as her hands fell limp to her sides.

She felt without seeing strong arms enveloping her into a warm hug.

The voice softly and gently whispered into her ear. “I too have been beaten and abused. I too have felt unloved and cared for. I am here for you. I love you so much that I gave myself as a sacrifice so that you might see how much you are loved. Lean on me. Let me help you. I am here for you and will carry you when you are down or troubled. All you have to do is accept it. Accept me.”

Her body shook harder as she let her troubles go.

“I do.” She whispered into the strong arms. “I do accept you, Jesus. Please help me. Please forgive me. I don‘t want to live like this anymore.”

Is it the only way?

Everyone at some weak moment in their life may think of suicide. Some may act upon it, others let the moment pass.

A young man is in love with a girl. He thought things were going grand, till one day she broke up with him. Heartbroken and fearing that he couldn't live on without her in his life, he shot and killed himself.

A teen sick of his parents and being bullied at school gets drunk one night. As he rests his head on the end of the shotgun, in the front seat of his dad's truck; he passes out and the trigger goes off. He was killed instantly. His best friend finds him the next morning.

These are only two stories of many that affected my life. The first one was my husband friend, the second one a child in my sister's class.

Proverbs 3:5-6

Trust in the Lord with all thine heart; and lean not unto thine own understanding. In all they ways acknowledge him, and he shall direct thy paths.


Philippians 4:13

I can do all things through Christ which strengtheneth me.

I have been there...sitting in the bathroom thinking. It wasn't about suicide for myself, but wondering...why would anyone do it?

I have felt worthless and unloved. I have been told, over and over, I would never amount to anything because I was too dense to learn anything. Those words had a powerful impact on me.

Then I learned of salvation, the power of prayer, and how God would help me if I took the time to listen.

I no longer feel so unloved or worthless. I know my Savior is there. I haven't always follow that path. Not because I didn't believe, but because I chose not to listen sometimes. Even in my darkest moments, he was there…waiting to help me.

He is there...waiting for you.

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    • tlpoague profile imageAUTHOR

      Tammy 

      3 years ago from USA

      Thanks Audrey,

    • AudreyHowitt profile image

      Audrey Howitt 

      3 years ago from California

      Very touching piece--

    • tlpoague profile imageAUTHOR

      Tammy 

      3 years ago from USA

      Thanks Susan, I nearly missed your post. I am glad you didn't do it either. Otherwise, I would have missed out on a wonderful friendship!

    • tlpoague profile imageAUTHOR

      Tammy 

      3 years ago from USA

      Thanks Ruth, I am very grateful for my faith to help me get through those dark moments. I agree, it is hard to understand the depth of those cries unless you know of someone or experienced it yourself.

      Thanks for stopping by!

    • tlpoague profile imageAUTHOR

      Tammy 

      3 years ago from USA

      Thanks Marsha, it is great to know that our pieces are being found on tsu. I'm sorry to hear about your cousin. Since writing this piece I, too, had a cousin that ended his life. It was very traumatic for his family. Many still are on a destructive path from it. Many times I wondered what his life would have been like if only he could hear God speaking to him.

      Thanks again for stopping by!

    • profile image

      Ruth Cox 

      3 years ago

      Only one who has been touched by another's suicide or thought of suicide of their own can fully understand the depth of A Cry in the Dark. That said, I felt every slowly-read and often anticipated word. And as a Christian I can fully understand that voice in the darkness able to pull one through when no one else can, or will.

    • Marsha Musselman1 profile image

      Marsha Musselman 

      3 years ago from Michigan, USA

      Great article and witness of God's love and the heart of Jesus dying on the tree for mankind. I had a cousin that committed suicide several years ago. Possibly many either know someone personally, or have friends or family that know of someone that's taken their own life.

      I saw this post on tsu.

    • Just Ask Susan profile image

      Susan Zutautas 

      3 years ago from Ontario, Canada

      I too can relate to your beautiful poem and I'm glad I didn't do what I had thought about doing.

    • tlpoague profile imageAUTHOR

      Tammy 

      5 years ago from USA

      Thank you Jackie and Web for stopping by. Sorry it took me so long to respond back. I have a grand baby that is wanting to come early so I have been spending a lot of time with my daughter.

      Jesus has helped me in many ways many times in my life. At the time that I wrote this poem, my daughter had lost a classmate. It made me think of how short life is and how sometime these young lives think there is nothing left for them but death. Maybe if they had Jesus in their lives they would have taken a second to take a second look at their decisions.

      @Jackie, Thank you for the vote. I agree it is important to address these difficult subjects so that we, as Christians, have the opportunity to share our faith with others.

      @Web, My heart goes out to you for your loss. I can't help but wonder, as I keep re-reading your comment, that if she was reading the book of Job, maybe she chose to give her life to the Lord before she made the choice she did. It is so difficult to live with the unanswered questions.

      Thank you for the comment of a noteworthy job.

    • web923 profile image

      Bill Blackburn 

      5 years ago from Twentynine Palms, California

      You chose a tough subject to write about and you did a noteworthy job. My sister committed suicide some years ago and when they found her belongings there was a Bible marked at the book of Job. She hadn't finished reading it, and I often wonder what might have been if she had finished to the end. Great work!

    • Jackie Lynnley profile image

      Jackie Lynnley 

      5 years ago from The Beautiful South

      This is very good and important to talk about. Jesus indeed has helped me in many many things. He is always there for us no matter the problem. Voting up and sharing.

    • tlpoague profile imageAUTHOR

      Tammy 

      7 years ago from USA

      Thank you Almasi,

      There are many trials in my life that without my faith I don't know how I would have handled them.

      Thanks again, I am glad that you enjoyed the hub. :)

    • almasi profile image

      almasi 

      7 years ago

      Thank you for an honest hub that is encouraging all those who are going through IT by reminding them that they are not going through IT all alone.

      Jesus is here with us every second and every step of the way and sometimes we don't have to do anything especially when we don't have the strength to do anything. All we have to do is to relax in His loving arms and let God be God in our IT situation.

      Thank you once again for an UPlifiting and useful hub.

    • tlpoague profile imageAUTHOR

      Tammy 

      7 years ago from USA

      Thanks James, I have had some pretty low times in my life where leaning on God had got me through it. My brother and sister each lost a classmate to suicide. It had an impact on how we faced life. Anytime anyone asks me how I stay strong, I simply tell them it is my faith that has kept me going. :)

    • James A Watkins profile image

      James A Watkins 

      7 years ago from Chicago

      Wow! What an awesome story. I have been there but I didn't have the guts to go through with it. A long time ago. I am better now. God saved me. :D

    • tlpoague profile imageAUTHOR

      Tammy 

      7 years ago from USA

      Thank you, Marliza. I could use a lot of prayer right now.

    • Marliza Gunter profile image

      Marliza Gunter 

      7 years ago from South Africa

      Hi hun,

      I've been there, I hear you, I see you, I know, its a very very dark and lonely place. Violence, abuse, broken faith, it gets too much. I will pray for you, you would need a whole lot of faith and strength. You would need to truly believe in God's love for you in the midst of all the horrible things that happen to you. I will carry you in my heart.

      Could I invite you to do an assignment? This will greatly increase your faith..

      Here is the link..

      https://hubpages.com/religion-philosophy/CHRISTIAN...

      Be strong sis... come chat to me when you feel you want to..your always welcome... :)

      Love in Christ.. :)

    • tlpoague profile imageAUTHOR

      Tammy 

      7 years ago from USA

      Thank you for your tender words, Izettl. I have been at a low point for awhile now. I have learned that if I don't lean on God, even if I don't hear him, I struggle. He has answered prayers in many ways I didn't expect. Thanks again! And God bless you!

    • izettl profile image

      Laura Izett 

      7 years ago from The Great Northwest

      I can relate to this in some ways. I felt my lowest several months ago- even wrote a hub about it (God Dropped Me) and it was the first time in my life I didn't feel God's love. What I didn't expect was all the comments on that hub that led me back to realize all my gifts from God in light of troubled times.

      This was such a beautifully written piece. I don't have anything more to add. God bless you!

    • tlpoague profile imageAUTHOR

      Tammy 

      7 years ago from USA

      Thank you Momma Mia, I realize that not everyone believes in God, but those that have experienced his miracles can understand what it means to lean on him. Thank you for your wonderful comment.

    • Momma Mia profile image

      Momma Mia 

      7 years ago from North Carolina

      Very touching...... been there as well.......the love of God does shine thru ...when the vessel he created is a clear canvas... we are not always so see thru huh.........but God can see us ......and when we look with our heart and not our eyes....we can see clearly too.....thank you...as this story is giving me chills as I write this comment. To feel is to be free to love..

      love u in Gods fashion

      Mia

      p.s and he gots style lol laughter is my rx as well

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