A visit with God-A Poem
Take it one day at a time...
A Cry in the Dark.
It would be so easy.
No one would notice. Besides...who cares if she didn’t exist in this crazy world?
Certainly not her mom or dad.
She casually slid the blade across the purple vein pulsing in her wrist.
She toyed with nicking herself.
Memories of hurt flickered behind her closed eyes. Tears built up in the corners threatening to escape.
A voice whispered to her breaking her trance. “What are you doing my child?”
Surprised she looked around the small room. She was still alone.
She closed her eyes letting a tear go.
“What are you doing my child?” the voice asked again.
She didn’t bother to look as she quietly replied, “Why?”
“Because I want to help if you will let me.” It whispered lovingly.
She shifted her weight and leaned back against the wall. She dared herself to look and see who was talking to her.
Still no one was there.
A chill ran through her body.
"Am I going crazy?" She asked herself looking at the razor blade in her hand.
“No,” the voice whispered to her.
Her head snapped up as she looked for the source of the voice.
“Who are you?” She asked the shadows in the room.
“You know who I am. You have been asking me for help.”
“Why now, Lord ? Why didn’t you answer me before now?” She wept.
“You didn’t want to hear me." The voice gently assured her. "I have been here all along.”
Again she ran the thin razor blade across the skin of her wrists. A delicate line of red oozed.
“Are you sure you want to do this?” The voice asked.
“Why not?” She choked back a sob. “No one cares about me anymore.”
“I do.” The voice answered tenderly. “Tell me what is bothering you. What is so bad that you feel the need to do this?”
She toyed with the blade again, and then sighed before answering.
“I don’t feel loved. I have no one who cares anymore. My boyfriend just wants to use me as a toy. My parents see me as their slave. I have no friends that like me for me. I can’t even keep a job because I can’t get along with the boss. I have been beaten and abused. It is hopeless. This is all I have left.”
Tears cascaded down her cheeks in a rivet of waterfalls. Her chest shook with her sobs. The razor blade temporarily forgotten as her hands fell limp to her sides.
She felt without seeing strong arms enveloping her into a warm hug.
The voice softly and gently whispered into her ear. “I too have been beaten and abused. I too have felt unloved and cared for. I am here for you. I love you so much that I gave myself as a sacrifice so that you might see how much you are loved. Lean on me. Let me help you. I am here for you and will carry you when you are down or troubled. All you have to do is accept it. Accept me.”
Her body shook harder as she let her troubles go.
“I do.” She whispered into the strong arms. “I do accept you, Jesus. Please help me. Please forgive me. I don‘t want to live like this anymore.”
Is it the only way?
Everyone at some weak moment in their life may think of suicide. Some may act upon it, others let the moment pass.
A young man is in love with a girl. He thought things were going grand, till one day she broke up with him. Heartbroken and fearing that he couldn't live on without her in his life, he shot and killed himself.
A teen sick of his parents and being bullied at school gets drunk one night. As he rests his head on the end of the shotgun, in the front seat of his dad's truck; he passes out and the trigger goes off. He was killed instantly. His best friend finds him the next morning.
These are only two stories of many that affected my life. The first one was my husband friend, the second one a child in my sister's class.
Proverbs 3:5-6
Trust in the Lord with all thine heart; and lean not unto thine own understanding. In all they ways acknowledge him, and he shall direct thy paths.
Philippians 4:13
I can do all things through Christ which strengtheneth me.
I have been there...sitting in the bathroom thinking. It wasn't about suicide for myself, but wondering...why would anyone do it?
I have felt worthless and unloved. I have been told, over and over, I would never amount to anything because I was too dense to learn anything. Those words had a powerful impact on me.
Then I learned of salvation, the power of prayer, and how God would help me if I took the time to listen.
I no longer feel so unloved or worthless. I know my Savior is there. I haven't always follow that path. Not because I didn't believe, but because I chose not to listen sometimes. Even in my darkest moments, he was there…waiting to help me.
He is there...waiting for you.
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